Q. Is it wrong of me to want to swallow my husband's [seed] (semen, sperm)? What about him spilling it on me? Is this a sin? Wasn't that the sin of Onan (Genesis 38:8-9)?

The Two Bans

A. The position of the Chavurat Bekorot (CB, Holy Order, Fellowship of the Firstborn) regarding the sexual activity between husbands and wives is that this is entirely a matter between spouses, their consciences and God - that "the marriage bed is undefiled" (Heb.13:4, NKJV) provided they are rightly related by covenant. Over the years, though, we have received many questions regarding sexuality, particularly from those exposed to pornography or involvement in various sexually deviant behaviours. Most of these are revealed for what they are in Scripture and need no further comment here - common sense answers most questions where the commandments aren't necessarily specific. However, the CB has strongly felt the need to impose two specific rules on its members which though common sense to most are apparently not so to a small minority when it comes to oral intimacy and those parts of the body that were not designed by God for sexual penetration:

• 1. Anal intercourse is strictly forbidden under any and all circumstances;
• 2. 'Deep-throating' or 'deep-throat fellatio' is likewise forbidden.

Though this ought to be common sense, it apparently isn't to many, hence the need to make a formal statement. These organs were created exclusively for excretion and food ingestion, respectively, unlike the genetalia and mouth with each designed to serve more than one function. Organs used for anything other than what Yahweh made them for can cause fatal illnesses like AIDS, spinal injury (#1), throat cancer and eating difficulties later in life (#2). Aside from these two bans, husbands and wives may do as they please provided it is by mutual consent and not by the constraint of one partner over the other.

BDSM is Demonic

There are so many sexual perversions these days. Naming them all here would be distasteful, unedifying and unnecessary. Take BDSM (Bondage, Domination & Sado-Masochism), for example, which is considered by us to be demonic and about as far removed from biblical agapé-, ahavah- and chesed-love that you can get, whether for sexual stimulation or for any other reason. For more on BDSM and Christian 'Domestic Discipline', there are articles to be found on the HEM and the parent websites.

What Was the Sin of Onan?

The 'sin of Onan' is a specific kind of seed-spilling made clear by scripture:

"Then Judah said to Onan, 'Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your [Levirate] duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your [late] brother [who had no children when alive].' But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in Yahweh's sight..." (Gen.38:8-10, NIV).

The sin here was in not fulfilling his duty under the Law of Levirate which more often than not required taking a late brother's wife polygamously (unless he was single or a widower himself), from whom she had had no issue, to preserve that brother's inheritance in Israel. It applied only in the land of Israel and only under the Old Covenant, as far as we can deduce. And whilst a widow may certainly marry her late husband's brother if he and she so wish, polygamously or otherwise, there is no obligation any longer in the New Covenant of Christ to do so.

Answering Masturbation

Neither has the sin of Onan anything to do with masturbation (auto-eroticism) which has sometimes euphemistically (and erroneously) been called 'onanism'. That was not Onan's sin but rather failure to do his levirate, conjugal duty. Though the Torah nowhere says masturbation is a sin (nor is there a penalty affixed for it) it is clear when taking a number of other scriptures into account - especially in the New Testament - that it can become a sin on at least a couple of grounds:

• 1. When it is done 'solo' and involves spiritual adultery or fornication if it involves the conjuring up of mental images of, or lust towards, persons one is not lawfully married to; or
• 2. Involving fantasies or the the use of pornography or such that leads to compulsive addictions.

Self-control is one of the disciplines of Gospel life. Are there exceptions? What if you are married and conjure up an image of your spouse? For a full exegesis on this subject taking the whole counsel of Scripture into account, see Masturbation: The Little Known Sin of Auto-Homosexuality.

Understanding Mystical Echad Marriage

As to your other questions, I need to delve a little deeper into the mystery of marriage itself, what we call Holy Echad Marriage, a principle woven into the very creation itself. I examine this in depth in hundreds of articles on this website. There are also materials on the parent website which, though directed principally to simple (monogamous) marriages, have equal application in plural marriage too. There is also a broader website on women to be found there. The Eternal Echad Marriage website is also very important because of the cosmic dimension of this potentially infinitely deep subject, one of the reasons this website exists at all. If you want to go very deep, read the Cosmic Principle.

Marking the Female Body Internally With Male DNA

Male seed is potent and has a major impact on the female body on so many different levels, the most dramatic and immediately visible obviously being fertilisation of a female egg leading to the formation of a child in the womb. But that's not the only impact seed has. Uniquely in humans, the male seed is used to mark their female mating companions.

Why Dogs Mark Territory

Anyone who has been a dog owner knows that dogs, like nearly all mammals, use urine to communicate ownership and establish boundaries. They do this by utilising visual displays, vocalisations and scent marking, each conveying different information about the individual animals (as well as its species) and the territory each is claiming. Though we are nearly totally unconscious of this, humans do this as well, something that's implanted into our behaviour by the Creator. Pheromones are biochemical substances secreated by organisms that trigger a social or reproductive response in other members of the same species.

Cat Marking of Humans

Broadly speaking, then, animals deposit strong-smelling substances, often combining pheromones, to leave a scent trail. These can be found in urine, faeces or secretions from specialised scent glands. If you are a cat owner, you can hardly not have noticed that cats mark us as part of their territory. They do this by rubbing their faces, heads, and bodies against people, leaving behind pheromones from scent glands located in their head, cheeks, and tail. Biologists call this 'bunting'. This helps cats create a 'group scent' to make them feel secure in their environment.

A Human Loss of Smell Awareness Through Hygiene

There was a time when humans were much more aware of the smells of other people than we are today. Because of greater hygiene (use of perfumed soaps, deodrants, etc.) we no longer recognise each other as much as we once did because of smell. Nevertheless we were created to secrete what are known as 'releaser hormones' that trigger short-term behavioural changes, like attracting a mate. We also produce 'primer hormones' that cause longer-lasting effects, such as influencing hormonal and developmental changes. Lastly, we produce 'signaler pheromones' that communicate about the sender. These are more pronounced in other species than our own because we have other communication skills that they do not...like intelligence, language communication, and so forth. Neverthless pheromones are still released by us in mating, particularly in axillary (underarm) sweat and in sexual fluids (primarily semen in men, and in women the fluid released by Skene's Glands), which were designed both for arousal and marking. I'll discuss more about these presently.

Olefactory Organs

We possess a number of olefactory organs for smell detection in our noses and elsewhere. These organs work together to detect and process odour molecules so that we can perceive smells. We can also detect certain of these chemicals by means of taste, a reason why mammals often lick one another.

Fences, Boundary Stones & Bedroom Doors

Now humans may not go around marking territory by urinating on the ground like other mammals - we build fences for that purpose, or erect boundary stones. The bedroom door clearly delineates the bedroom area from the rest of the house though this was not the case until relatively modern times. The vast majority of people in the biblical eras lived in a single shared space that combined kitchen, living room and bedroom. The walls of the house or tent separated the family out from other families. As we have grown wealthier, we have erected ever more boundaries, somewhat ameliorated (made worse) by promiscuity and the abandonment of biblical standards. As culture has evolved and both re-enforced and departed from Torah standards (as in various attitudes towards partial or total nudity, for example), so we have both preserved and lost those ideal conditions for human relations.

What Does It Mean to Be 'Spiritual'?

Why, you may ask, am I sharing all this information about physical phenomena? Are we not supposed now to be focussed on the spiritual? As believers, most definitely, but we were also created psychic and material beings. Our emotional and physical behaviours are an integral part of our lives which we are required to line up and accomodate in the right way. The Bible views humans as whole beings, making no distinction between the visible and invisible or the different aspects of what being human means. A 'spiritual' person in Scripture is not one like a Buddhist, Gnostic or other aesthetic who may repress his or her feelings or physical impulses because they view them as in some way bad. God created man as a spiritual, mental, emotional and physical being and declared every aspect "good". It is the devil who sets one part of our essence against another. A spiritual person is one with those spiritual values demanded by the Creator, Yahweh, as outlined in the commandments. Thus the spiritual embraces the mental, psychic and physical as well as the spiritual. Every part of us was declared kosher provided we live the way God expects us to.

Why Then is 'Flesh' Viewed Negatively in Scripture?

A misperception that many Christians have is that the biblical use of the word 'flesh' when applied to our fallen nature somehow means that all physical impulses are somehow 'bad' (particularly sex), a notion belonging to the false philosophy of gnosticism which found a home in Greek Orthodoxy and with greater pronouncement in Roman Catholicism that has been passed on to Protestantism to varying degrees depending on the denomination. Used by the apostle Paul in particular, 'flesh' as something negative and sinful does not equate with the physical body per se but is a disposition, brought about by the Fall, that is resident within the physical body, not the physical body itself. In other words, apostolic admonitions to overcome the 'flesh' are not calls to completely suppress sex and physical appetites generally but rather to align them with heavenly spiritual principles. And the first divine boundary is the covenant of marriage, whether monogamous or plural. No lifelong marriage covenant, no sex allowed, and strict celibacy is enjoined. With that clearly established, I can now answer your questions about male semen: can it be consumed and can it be spilled externally in any way? To which I would add, is their any advantage to either?

A Man's Seed-DNA Physically Marks the Penetrated Woman

Scientific studies made by, for example, the Fred Hutch Cancer Center have demonstrated that once a man's seed enters a woman, it not only fertilises her egg (if she is ovulating) but can potentially mark every part of her body. Whether she becomes pregnant or not, that seed-DNA remains in some form in her body, principally in the brain, for up to seven years [1]. Once a man penetrates and releases seed into a woman, he marks her inside as belonging to him either directly viâ sperm or from the fetus, whether either are believers, pagans or atheists. It is his chemical and biological certificate of ownership. He 'signs his name', as it were, marking her out to be his wife with obligations devolving upon both to fulfil their designated rôles in such a relationship whether they have entered into verbal or written marriage commitments in the presence of witnesses or not. Sex is the ACT of marriage and penetration followed by sperm release is the biological contract for all humans. When that obligation is ignored, there are inevitable consequences and the process of dehumanisation continues further. Though God does not hold us accountable to Him as far as eternal consequences are concerned in the days of our ignorance (Ac.17:30) there are nevertheless consequences in mortality for breaking the Laws of Creation. And if believers knowingly do this, then they are excluded from the eternal Kingdom of Heaven,

More Than One Compliment of Male DNA in a Woman...

If such a marked woman then goes and promiscuously sleeps with another man, and he likewise releases seed into her after coitus, whether he fertilises her or not, she receives his DNA signature too and introduces confusion and further decay into her life. She now has two opposing and competing signatures in her even if the first man is no longer a lover or still in her life. She belongs to both men which is impossible and has in consequence allowed the second man to unleash a civil war within her. This is not, moreover, merely chemical and biological, for we are built of more than mere physical materials. We are also psychological/emotional AND are primarily spiritual beings born into mortality from a previously exclusively spiritual state. By having intercourse with two men, even if no seed is released, she emotionally creates a soul tie with both of them, having a newly-formed psychological or psychic connection which extends the internal civil war into the psychic domain too where it is experienced emotionally. Each man's DNA is now in her brain but they are in her thoughts and feelings too, consciously or otherwise. If unconscious, they will haunt her dream life. Finally, there is the spiritual part of her which is marked by God for a certain husband which, if neither of the two men are marked by Him to be her husband, creates yet another layer of internal conflict leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness if any sort of permanent or semi-permanent relationship follows. For then she is committed to that union for the rest of her or his life, 'until death do we part'. This is one of the more sobering consequences of free choice.

Starting Anew in Christ

Now the psychic side can be healed through repentance and a change in lifestyle that should follow salvation through trusting in Christ. Though I know of no studies that show any previous men's DNA is eliminated by spiritual rebirth in Christ, I suspect it lingers until it finally disintegrates, but I don't know for sure. From God's perspective, she is at the very least forensically or legally cleansed in His eyes, ungodly soul-ties are broken, and a new life can begin even if inner healing may yet need to take place on the emotional level and perhaps in certain body memories. Breaking Yahweh's Torah-Law leads to consequences that may take time to fix. But there is, however, hope now, and both a formerly permissive woman and man can start as virgins again in Yahweh's eyes. As to who should formally marry who is a more complex question that cannot be addressed here.

Genders are Fixed and Unidirectional

Now it's important to realise that while a man 'marks' a woman as his by penetrating and releasing seed into her there is no reverse 'marking' of the man by the woman. Ownership and headship (with all the attendant rights and responsibilities - Eph.5:25-28) go in one direction only, as it true of ownership of the Body or Bride (the allegorical wife) of Christ by Christ (the allegorical husband), though there is the reciprocal obligation on the part of the woman to fully yield to her man's authority (Eph.5:22-24). There is no coheadship or co-ownership either. Men and women have been spiritually, mentally, emotionally and biologically imaged according to this singular, unidirectional cosmic, divine pattern or tavnith. No amount of philosophising or politicking can change that reality any more than believing in transgenderism can actually change gender. Our DNA does not change just because we want to subjectively change genders, as some may suppose they can. No amount of genetic engineering or so-called 'directed evolution' can change that either, not without dehumanising people further. Transhumanism leads to the same cul de sac or dead-end too. Male and female are forever established by Yahweh the Creator, in humans at any rate. Artificially administered hormonal injections may cause secondary sexual characteristics to change for as long as the hormonal treatment is maintained but they cannot alter a single cell's DNA blueprint even temporarily nor the gender of our spirits. We are what we were made to be.

Polygyny and Polyandry

Because 'marking' is unidirectional - the female by the male - polygyny (one man joined to several women) works but polyandry (one woman joined to several men) does not, and cannot, a reason polyandry is very rare culturally, the result usually of economic pressure caused by extreme poverty.

Marking a Wife With Seed

The marking of a woman externally by a man spilling his seed on her follows very much in the same pattern as the inside but with a different end in mind. This is a very powerful primal statement that involves the senses of sight, smell, touch and (if ingested) taste, not to mention the emotions as well as the sexual response caused by the pheromones in the semen. This is the nearest human equivalent to 'bunting' in cats. At a very deep, unconscious level implanted by the Creator, both men and women instinctively know this, accept it and welcome it unless they have been conditioned by societal taboos to be repelled by such a notion. It should therefore come as no surprise to us to discover why Satan promotes a perverted version of the Creator's original intent in promiscuous relationships, pornography and satanic rituals. We all know what sexual perversion looks like and what it is (or ought to if we know our Bibles): it is the reversal of God's patriarchal Torah principles, His commandments or laws. Thus the devil encourages fornication, adultery, polyandry, polyamory, swinging, fertility cultism, and much else besides. He encourages 'facials' whereby the man defaces the reflected image of the Holy Spirit (who is female in women and dishonours his soul-mate whom he is commanded to honour externally with his kisses and affectionate touching. If a man intends to mark his woman externally, it should be anywhere but her face.

Natural Ways to Repell Sexual Predators, Fornicators & Adulterers

A wife who is bedded often by her husband is less attractive to male predators (potential adulterers in particular) who sense she is taken and satisfied, and in consequence draw back. This is a psychic reaction for the most part. A wife who is marked externally by her husband's semen-resident pheromones will likewise be detected by male predators which will revolt them, whether believers or unbelievers. All this happens at an unconscious level and can sometimes cool a wicked man's ardour and lust. Heterosexual men as a rule find each other's seed revolting and godly women find other men's seed equally revolting. Godly men and godly women who have broken out of unbiblical taboos and been delivered from previous soul-destroying behaviours and love Biblical tavnith, delight in their husband's seed both for what it symbolises (ownership) and achieves (deeper echad union).

Multiple Meanings of 'Seed'

Confusingly, perhaps, in Scripture offspring or descendants can also called 'seed'. The Hebrew for 'seed', 'semen' or 'sperm' is zera which may also be translated as 'offspring' if the context merits it, though there are two other words which can be used for 'offspring' too - nin (offspring, posterity, lineage continuation, family line) and valad (offspring, child[ren]). So there are three words for 'offspring' in Hebrew, one of which is the same word as semen. There is nothing 'dirty', 'filthy' or 'contaminated' in this interchange of words because to the Hebrew mind semen is sacred. Though it may sound weird in English or other European languages, calling my children my 'seed', 'semen' or 'sperm' would have been entirely natural and uncontroversial to an ancient Hebrew. Indeed, so sacred was semen viewed, a man entering into a covenant with another man would place his hand under the latter's testicles, swearing by his seed/offspring/children thus making the oath binding. Such veneration of seed and its potential was common throughout the ancient Middle East. Furthermore, a woman accidentally castrating another man having a fight with her husband by seizing his genitals, was penalised by Torah by having the offending hand cut off, the only example of this kind of punishment in the whole of Torah (Dt.25:11-12). Self-righteous Western man, steeped in sexual sin as he is with little or no awareness of the sacred, may view this as 'barbaric', but he would be wrong. The genetalia of both genders are so sacred that Yahweh has ordered them covered up at all times save when husband and wife are alone together. If we are to regain a proper perspective of the sacred we must yield to what Scripture teaches and not pre-judge it by our own man-made standards. Try to understand that the intimate relationship between husband and wife in all its permitted expressions is not disgusting or filthy. It is holy, pure, sacred, designed by Yahweh for life itself.

Discharges vs. Emissions

What, then, are we to make of those passages in the Torah which give the impression that the spilling of seed is itself 'unclean', even following lawful sexual intercourse? For this reason, it is argued, that spilling seed deliberately or accidentally makes a man unclean. Let's pause to look at this matter carefully starting with the most commonly cited passage when defending the position that semen is physically unclean because it is discharged:

"Yahweh said to Moses and Aaron, 'Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When any man has a bodily discharge, the discharge is unclean. Whether it continues flowing from his body or is blocked, it will make him unclean. This is how his discharge will bring about uncleanness:

"'Any bed the man with a discharge lies on will be unclean, and anything he sits on will be unclean. Anyone who touches his bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Whoever sits on anything that the man with a discharge sat on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

"'Whoever touches the man who has a discharge must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

"'If the man with the discharge spits on someone who is clean, that person must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

"'Everything the man sits on when riding will be unclean, and whoever touches any of the things that were under him will be unclean till evening; whoever picks up those things must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

"'Anyone the man with a discharge touches without rinsing his hands with water must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

"'A clay pot that the man touches must be broken, and any wooden article is to be rinsed with water.

"'When a man is cleansed from his discharge, he is to count off seven days for his ceremonial cleansing; he must wash his clothes and bathe himself with fresh water, and he will be clean. On the eighth day he must take two doves or two young pigeons and come before Yahweh to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and give them to the priest. The priest is to sacrifice them, the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement before Yahweh for the man because of his discharge'" (Lev.15:1-15, NIV).

It is the next verse that is contentious:

"'When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening" (Lev.15:16-18, NIV).

Important Differences

There are three important points that need to be made here:

• 1. The 'discharge' in Leviticus 15:1-15 is not semen. Note that in verse 7, it states that it is a man with discharge, so pus from an infected wound would qualify, but so would blood and other body fluids. Leviticus 14 specifies that such uncleanliness will last at least eight days;

• 2. The wording regarding semen is quite different. In verse 16, it is not a 'discharge' but 'seed of copulation' that is a natural 'emission' (but see an altetrnative understanding further on). The uncleanness from such an emission lasts at most for one day (until evening); and

• 3. Note that in verse 19 that follows, the menstrual flow (like verses 1-15) is also classified by Yahweh as a 'discharge'.

Unclean Until Evening, Not for a Week

The seminal emission was only 'unclean' until evening. Why not a full week? What practically is the difference between a 'discharge' and an 'emission'? The one, an emission is 'natural' (semen is supposed to be emitted) and a discharge is 'unnatural', being caused for the most part by illness or because it is the essential removal of waste material from the body. Were a woman menstruating not able to discharge blood, a pregnancy would not be possible.

What the Book of Leviticus Is

One important thing to understand about Leviticus is that, as the name suggests (which comes from the Greek Septuagint - LXX - translation), a manual of compiled laws on holiness. (The Hebrew name for the Third book of Moses is Wayyiqra', which is the first word of Leviticus 1:1, meaning, "And He (Yahweh) called..."). It is not an historical narrative (like Exodus) but a compilation of instructions for the priesthood revolving around holiness and, in particular, the holiness required to enter the Tabernacle of Tent of Meeting, the precursor to the Temple, and to conduct the servives therein.

Corporate Worship is the Context of Semen Emission

As such, then, the context of Leviticus 15:16-18 is Exodus:

"After Moses had gone down the mountain to the people, he consecrated them, and they washed their clothes. Then he said to the people, 'Prepare yourselves for the third day. Abstain from sexual relations'" (Ex.19:14-15, NIV).

Unlike many pagan religions of the time which were obscene and degraded ferility cults, sexual intercourse was not part of any divine 'service' in ancient Israel. Physical intimacy is exclusively between husbands and wives in privacy. Not only were married people expected to abstain from sexual intercourse during divine assemblies, they were to make sure they had washed before assembling, so that no semen would be on the flesh or clothing of any worshipper present. A man engaging in sexual intercourse on the day of a convocation (for example in the morning before assembly) would not be permitted to enter the assembly because he would be considered unclean. For all practical purposes, he could have intercourse with semen emission the day before but would be unclean as far as participating in communal worship the following morning until the evening of the same day as his emission. This ruling applied even after the Tabernacle ceased to be used and was replaced by the Temple as well as to any assembly such as sabbath worship and therefore it may be argued is applicable in the New Covenant too. There are certainly common sense grounds for continuing the rule though no revelation has ever been received insisting it be so. Yet few would argue that in presenting ourselves before Yahweh for worship communally, we should present our best: coming to meetings washed and wearing clean clothing.

Unwanted Distraction in Meetings

It is legitmate to ask yourself, 'why?' Is Yahweh disgusted by semen? No, He created it. But semen is to have no part, even passively, in any communal worship, consciously or unconsciously. Why? Because semen has an odour that would be readily detectable, the more so in a hot climate like the Sinai peninsular or Israel, and any pheromones floating around such an assembly released from intercourse that day could potentially be an invisible spiritual distraction from Yahweh to the women and revolting to other men, for the reasons I have already given.

A Better Translation

This is why one translation of verse 16 puts it this way:

"If any man's seed depart from him in his sleep, he shall wash his flesh in water and be unclean until evening" (Lev.15:16, Modern Spelling Tyndale-Coverdale).

This accidental nocturnal emission (a 'wet dream') would then disqualify him from attending a divine moed or appointment the following morning, and would be distinct from a deliberate act of disobedience to be celibate after nightfall the day before any divine assembly. Of course, once husband and wife had left such an assembly and returned home they would be free to engage in intimacy of this nature again. Thus it would be incorrect to say that 'sex with semen emission is banned on the sabbath' since the ban came in force the evening before and sabbath starts at sunrise. Only on a very special sacred occasion, like the day Torah was received on Mount Sinai, was a ban on sexual activity demanded three days before and not merely a day or part thereof.

An Important Clarification

Because Leviticus is a compilation of rules, individual ones like Leviticus 15:16-18 have tended to be misunderstood and misapplied both in translations and in the common understanding of Bible readers. Thus without proper clarification, this passage has led to the belief that semen itself is somehow 'unclean' or 'dirty' in and of itself, which it cannot be without accusing the Creator of creating something dirty Himself (a blasphemous thought). Yet this lie has deeply permeated Christendom, and especially Catholicism and its offshoots, with its barely concealed hostility to all things sexual. Semen is not dirty but Yahweh insists that it is not to be present externally when believers congregate, for the obvious reasons given, because it may only be released and in private between married persons. Period.

Genetic Reasons For Not Using the First Emission for Fertilisation

Let's be clear: a man's semen is sacred and marking his woman externally is not only perfectly acceptable but may rightly be regarded as an honour by his wife. Indeed, once she has overcome the taboos of man-made tradition, she will likely desire this more and more. Furthermore, many men, wanting the 'best' seed to be reserved for fertilsing a wife in order to create genetically healthy children, will often 'mark' their wife with their first seed emission (which is 'old' and may have begun to partially genetically degenerate, potentially passing damaged genes to his offspring), or else give it to her for ingestion, and use the fresher seed from his second emission to impregnate her.

Is External Use of Seed Wasteful?

The argument is sometimes made that this is a 'waste' of seed and incompatible with good stewardship of a biological resourse but you have to understand that a man's seed was designed with an overwhelming surplus of non-usable spermatazoa. A typical ejaculation releases between 40 million and 1.2 billion sperm cells, most of which are destroyed in the acidic environment of a woman's reproductive tract, and only one of which productively survives into the uterus if a female ovum or egg is present, to perhaps fertilise it. (More conservative estimates put the figure at 80 to 300 million). Taking the smallest of these figures, that means that there is a redundancy of a minimum of 99.99999975 per cent! Woman was designed to release only one egg at a time (300-500 in total during her lifetime, so obviously there is some redunancy there with unfertilised eggs, though not remotely on the same scale as semen), but man was designed to release millions of spermatozoa, most of which is never destined to produce children. Why did Yahweh create it this way? Might spermatazoa also have a seconary use in addition to ferilisation? That is an obvious question that needs to be asked.

Coitus Interruptus

Throughout my ministry I have been asked whether coitus interruptus - interrupting intercourse to spill the seed elsewhere - was acceptable. The counsel of the Chavurat Bekorot has always been that either all seed should be deposited in the woman or not at all and a certain amount of self-control be exercised by keeping a record of a wife's menstrual cycle so that if only recreational sex is sought it can be planned when she is least fertile. But we have also taught that it is better to have sex naturally and to let Yahweh decide when it is time to send children.

Nutritional Value

Semen is highly nutritious, as we shall see, and the nutrients from the aborted semen are absorbed by the woman naturally. This is good, natural stewardship in our view. The nutrient-rich semen is thus recycled and not wasted. We have never said it was a sin to dispose of unwanted seed because Torah says nothing about this. However, we do view this as the least desirable genetic non-use of it. There are, as this FAQ is discussing, two other 'better' uses - marking and ingestion, and though the former does imply physical 'loss' it has a couple of important benefits in compensation - marking to indicate headship and warding off evilly-disposed men in the public space when on a wife's skin. We have dealt with 'marking' so let us finish with 'ingestion'.

Taboos & Ingestion

Now the very thought of ingestion is often enough to make some women gag. That is perfectly understandable. Various reasons will invariably be offered to explain this - she is too sensitive and/or too revolted by the thought. If that is where she is because of her cultural upbringing, that should be respected. She is where she is. That goes for the husbands too who may similarly be conditioned or be particularly sensitive. Her conscience, however incomplete or defiled, is where it is and that should be accepted by her husband. Why? Because to deny conscience - however tainted - is a sin. Two verses of scripture warn believers not to force someone to do something against what they believe to be right.

Food, Idolatry & Conscience

The first, though it is specifically about food, does, however, clearly emphasise the importance of acting with conviction and in faith in all actions, especially those related to conscience. I had a lot of problems with many of the principles I am sharing with you today because of my upbringing in the state church (Poland is Catholic). My conscience was defiled. I didn't even believe fellatio (the oral stimulation of a man's 'tower') was right or acceptable but an early wife wanted to do so badly, I could find nothing in Scripture forbidding it, and so I yielded to her desire out of love for her. The result was very positive for both of us and deepened our relationship. That is why you will find many materials relating to sexuality on this website as I have worked through my own upbringing and aligned myself more and more to Scripture, retraining my conscience in the process.

Why Conscience Must Always Be Respected

Let's take a look at the two scriptures:

"But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Rom.14:23, NIV).

Faith (that something is acceptable) is therefore essential. The second concerns food sacrificed to idols:

"When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak consciences, you sin against Christ" (1 Cor.8:12, NIV).

The Negative Impact of Forcing Someone Against Their Will

We must consider the impact of our actions on fellow believers with weaker consciences. Paul explains that proper kosher food is food whether it was offered previously to idols or not and it is alright to eat such provided it has been dedicated to Christ in prayer first. John addresses a similar situation but with a different background in Revelation 2:14. Here an apostate is promoting the teachings of Balaam who was trying to force new gentile believers to eat food offered to idols in violation of their conscience.

Fellatio

Every wife of mine-but-one has loved fellatio to differing degrees, with three being passionate about it. No wife (including the one who was repelled by fellatio) ever had any problem with marking (again with differing degrees of enthusiasm) and yet the one who hated fellatio was nevertheless, to my own surprise, keen about seed being used to heal a skin condition she had (the only one ever to want that) so you never know where a woman is or what she wants. That was where her faith was. (No other wife has considered semen as having skin healing properties). None of the ones who were happy about fellatio had any problem having seed released orally during fellatio (accidentally or deliberately as this was only ever by mutual consent) but none but two ever eagerly wanted to ingest it, being enthusiastic both based on what they knew about the benefits of doing so (that I am sharing here) and because they found it highly pleasurable and arousing. So everyone is different because everyone is at a different place when it comes to conscience. A husband must therefore walk circumspectly and with careful consideration of his wives' needs and where they are in their spiritual growth and psychological healing.

Pulling Back the Shades

If you are struggling with fellatio or oral sex in general in marriage, then if you are married I recommend you get hold of a copy of Evangelical Christian authors Dannah Gresh & Dr. Juli Slattery's (a clinical psychologist) book, Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman's Heart (2014). I don't recommend every conclusion these two sisters have come to (the Chavurat Bekot rejects the use of sex toys of any kind as being unnatural and unnecessary) but they have otherwise addressed an important need in the Body of Christ. Though the book doesn't go into all the things I address here like marking (that I can remember), it does go into greater depth on fellatio and other forms of sexual expression in marriage, and exposes damaging books like Fifty Shades of Grey which are causing great harm in evangelical circles amongst frustrated wives who rightly understand that spirituality and sexuality are not mutually exclusive.

The Biochemistry of Seed & Its Nutritional Value

Why ingest? We have seen that the DNA from a man's semen somehow get's into the brain and elsewhere in the body through coitus (regular intercourse). Why ingest? Because it does the same thing but viâ a different route, marking the gastro-intestinal tract and presumably going further. (There is no scientific/genetic evidence that I know of supporting this). Semen does no harm when ingested and is (so I am told by my two wives who have enjoyed it) a taste like nothing else. Though like any change in 'diet', that may for some be an acquired taste, whereas for some it comes naturally without need for adjustment. Semen is highly nutritious, containing (in addition to the spermatazoa) a mix of biochemicals that include sugars, proteins, enzymes and minerals, all of which are disgestible. All these compounds are crucial for sperm health, motility and fertilisation. Fructose, for instance, provides energy for the spermatazoa, while proteins and enzymes play rôles in their protection and function. Semen is mineral-rich, containing calcium, zinc, magnesium and phosphorus, amongst others. The fructose gives it its sweet taste, I am told (as ingestion by men is strictly forbidden). Since semen is so designed to protect against the acidity of the woman's reproductive tract, some of the living part of it may well survive the stomach and beyond.

A Profound Experience for the Few

Those wives who enjoyed ingestion had a profound theological understanding of the types and patterns of the symbolism which is beyond the scope of this FAQ as it runs very deep, being one of the mysteries of creation. This helped them enormously. Suffice to say that ingesting a living part of their husband was a thrilling experience for them which they relished. They sensed the life and energy in them. One likened it to a liqueur, being strong, sweet and vibrant, and the other to a kind of biological sacrament. For them this was the treat or apperatif before seed-planting in the usual way during coitus.

The Woman's Gift in Return

Little known to believers, let alone unbelievers, is the fact that women have something to offer their husbands in return for semen injestion which is highly prized by those men who know about it, but this only comes with deep surrender and and the pursuit of holiness on the part of the wives. More about that, which I have already hinted at, in a minute. I realise that for those women reacting negatively to what I have been saying so far will balk at the idea of there being anything 'holy' about all of this. I truly understand as I myself once occupied that ground. And if they feel they should stop reading, they should. This message is only for those who are deep seekers who want to know and understand more. Remember, though, that 'holiness' also means to be 'set-apart' - this is truly set-apart or reserved only for husbands and wives who have deep emotional and spiritual connections. If there is lack of intimacy in a marriage, all kinds of dysfunction typically results and we ought to briefly pause to consider the signs of this and why some of the things I have said are deeply offensive to some. Remember, all I am saying is set-apart only for deep mystical marriage in Messiah (MMM). There are plenty of perversions out there which some of you many have encountered and with which you are making associations which seem connected but which aren't, causing the one so revolted to project. This happens in deliverance ministry all the time, especially with women who have been abused, with with such things triggering painful memories that are projected on husbands, fathers, etc..

The Uniqueness of the Marriage Relationship

Marriage relationships are utterly unique. Marriage relationships in Christ are even more unique. But speaking generally first, marriage may be said to be the only place where physical and emotional intimacy are largely interwomen. For one, some emotions cannot be expressed with words, no matter how 'poetic' you may be. Just a gentle touch from your spouse has a way of filling you with so much security and comfort that a thousand words never could. This, then, leaves a connundrum: how do you express these feelings easily if you are not physically intimate with your spouse? That is the issue that most marriage relationships face today and is the source of so much tension and strife. This lack can leave a void that words can never fill. It can make the spouses feel isolated and abandoned. When the physical needs are not met, routines result where emotional investment dwindles too. You can't separate or parse out the physical and the spiritual in marriage because marriage is more than a platonic friendship. Without the emotional connection that results from physical intimacy, all the joy soon gets sucked out, turning the marriage into a shadow of itself. So emotional distance is the first casualty of a drying up of the sexual life. This in turn can diminish spiritual connectivity for believers too because covenant-love (marrital love), by its very nature, demands all three ingredients to be present.

Polygamy Not an Alternative for Failed Monogamous Marriage

If allowed to degenerate further, this lack of physical and emotional intimacy can lead to frequent fights, diminished trust, reduced unity or echadness, infidelity (covenant-breaking), separation and divorce. If any of these symptoms exist in your marriage, then my going any deeper about things which are currently missing will only frustrate and possibly anger you. This entire website is for those who have successful mongamous marriages - deep and intimate with a close relationship to Christ and each other - not for those floundering and looking for something different. Plural marriage is not for those looking for an alterative for a failing or failed monogamous marriage. An even worse disaster awaits those who come to Holy Echad Marriage with that mindset about which I have written much on this website. So I repeat, holiness and deep monogamous intimacy are pre-requisites for both plural marriage and for the kind of things I am talking about here. Many will say, oh, I have this already in my monogamous marriage, I don't need plural marriage. And that may be true. If you are satisfied with what you have, and God is not calling you into a plural way of life, obey Him. Remain as you are.

Quit Reading Now if You are Revolted

However, I have never met anyone who has what I am about to describe to you now. There are those who claim to have experienced something similar but which is, in reality, the Enemy's counterfeit. If you have the counterfeit and don't believe me and believe what you have is holy, then it is best you are revolted by what I have to say and quit reading further.

Reciprocity

In marriage there is always reciprocity in spite of the different rôles of men and women in marriage. A woman cannot mark a man, for reasons already explained, but she can give him something in return to ingest, something I knew nothing about until my eighth wife revealed it to me. And it isn't what you're probably thinking. It hasn't really anything directly to do with cunnilingus, the reverse of fellatio, even though that is something a husband will delight to please his wife with and can gain pleasure from himself too. She can produce lubricants and other fluids there which some men as a rule rightly find very distasteful if she is unclean. In the same way that a godly woman dedicated to holiness can find delight by digesting a man's seed, so a woman can return an equally sacred fluid to her husband that is rarely expressed in a pure form. Little is known about it scientifically, most of its function being second-guessing.

A Rare & Precious Female Fluid

This fluid contains some biochemicals similar to semen but minus those enzymes and factors needed to maintain healthy spermatazoa since a woman obviously has none. Like semen, this fluid is rich in glucose, fructose (both sugars) and phosphates, making it mildly sweet. About all that's known for sure is that this fluid plays a rôle in female sexual health. There are two enzymes present that are similar to those found in semen (PAP - Prostatic Acid Phosphatase & PSA - Prostatic-Specific Antigen) but in lower concentrations. And though the names of these enzymes might lead one to suppose that they are connected to the male prostate gland in some profound way, you need to be careful.

Skene's Fluid

This fluid is not urine. If it contains traces of urea or creatinine, which are waste products found in urine, then from the point-of-view of what this fluid was created for, it is not pure but contaminated and may taste of urine which no one would ever wish to ingest. The consumption of urine is forbidden, being unclean. Only women pursuing lives of holiness are able to manufacture this fluid without the familiar pungent-smelling waste byproducts of metabolism and no man who loves holiness will want anything to do with it as far as ingestion is concerned if it is so polluted. Now whilst both the male and female organs may be contaminated with urine if not properly cleansed prior to intimacy (which is why cleanliness is essential for proper intimacy), I am not necessarily speaking of this. This fluid is called Skene's Fluid and is made by Skene's glands, sometimes known as the parautheral or lesser vestibular glands. They are a pair of small glands located near the female urethra. They are tiny, each about the size of a kernal of corn, with pinprick-sized openings that can, when a woman is aroused, produce explosive amounts of fluid. This fluid prevents Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs).

Skene's Glands, one of which is emitting Skene's fluid

Much Sought Out by Consecrated Patriarchal Men

There is no way a woman can fake this without holiness. She can produce the fluid naturally and without the pursuit of holiness (without even being aware it exists) but it will be contaminated and repulsive to those who love purity. Only one of my wives has ever been able to produce this. Once tasted by a godly man, it becomes much sought after, rather like male seed by a deeply surrendered wife. When produced by a pure woman in deep arousal, it is usually made visible by pooling or fountaining. Since urine can be released in a similarly dramatic way by an ungodly woman, it is easy to confuse the two, at least by sight.

Precautions Against STDs

It should be pointed out that semen can be infected by viruses and bacteria, mostly from STDs (Sexually Transmitted Dieases). This should not be a problem if a man is living a sexually pure life with his covenanted wife or wives. This is a reason all new wives coming into the family always have a thorough check-up for STDs.

Candida Albicans

So to return to your first question: it is perfectly alright for a wife to want to ingest seed and is the preferred means of disposal of seed that is either not used for impregnation or marking. This practice should be stopped - a long with all sexual activity - if there is so much as a hint of an STD being present in a husband or wife. 'Thrush', which is a yeast infection of the vagina, is commonly caused by an overgrowth of the fungus Candida albicans. Whilst this is not an STD, it can be triggered by sexual activity and is characterised by itching, soreness, and a thick white discharge in the genital area that can sometimes be mistaken for semen. All intercourse should cease until it clears up. It's a very common infection in women. If a wife gets recurrent thrush, she should get medical help.

Conclusion

So to directly answer your questions: no, it is not wrong for a woman to want to ingest her husband's seed or to be marked if she has a clear conscience on the matter and she should not hesitate to ask her husband for these things. It is a great honour to him and is a blessing to any wife seeking deep communion. There is no Torah-sin in either nor is there any connection whatsover to the sin of Onan which was a failure of moral duty under the Old Covenant. Conversely, no woman repulsed by such practices should ever be forced to participate in them because of a weak conscience but equally she should not condemn any other wife for desiring the same as there are no scriptural precendents for them doing so.

Endnotes

[1] Dr. Lee Nelson, Hutchinson Center Study Finds Male DNA in Women's Brains

Author: SBSK