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Guided Tour

Index of

The 12 Books of Abraham

    2. Headship and What Marriage Isn't

    The Bible is very clear about teaching that the husband is the head of both his marriage and his family as a whole. We have a word to describe that in English called 'patriarchy'. It means 'father rulership'. The Scriptures teach that the husband is the head of his household in the same way that Christ is the head of the Church (Messianic Community). And the Church, as you know, consists of many people. This comparison of marriage with Christ's relationship to the Church is called an allegory. What this means is that Christ isn't literally married to us but that His relationship to us is like a marriage: He's the boss and we do what He says. Similarly, the husband is the boss and his wives are supposed to do what he says. But there's more to it than that: with the boss's job comes a big responsibility. Christ loved the Church (us - the community of believers) so much that He laid down His life for us. A husband has to be willing to love sacrificially in the same way.

    This, then, is Yahweh's condition that man be the boss. He has got to love like Christ. And that's why he can have more than one wife but only if he is going to behave like Christ. Don't think that gives a man married to only one woman the right to be unloving, selfish and tyrannical: his job description is still the same whether he has one wife or ten. He has to love and serve them in the same way that Christ served His disciples when He washed their feet and was willing to die for them.

    Marriage, then, does not allow a woman to marry more than one man. Let's see what the Scriptures teach:

      "So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man" (Rom.7:3, NKJV).

    According to the Law of Moses, a woman is an adulteress (and worthy of death) if she marries a second husband whilst the first is still alive. Only after her husband has died can she remarry.

    Now perhaps, as a woman, you may think this is unfair. Perhaps you think that because your husband can have more than one wife you should be able to have more than one husband. If that is true - if you're right - then using the same thinking we can all become polytheists. In fact, that would give you the right to be a Christian, Muslim, Jew and an Animist all at the same time. Unfortunately the Scriptures say:

      "But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God" (1 Cor.11:3, NKJV).

    What this means is that men and women have different rôles in life. They may be equal in some things but they are unequal in others. Yes, the husband is appointed by God to be the boss. You may think, "Well, that's nice for him, but what about me? That's not fair!"

    Before you convince yourself that God is being unfair to you, consider these facts. Firstly, because women are far more tender, sensitive, and loving than men as a rule, far more women come to salvation in Christ than men. As I will show later, the odds are in a woman's favour 7:1. If you're a woman, you've got a sevenfold better chance of making it to heaven than a man because of the way Yahweh has made you. Isn't that rather unfair on the men? Not really, someone has to be the boss - someone has to lead - and Yahweh made man that way. The price of having the qualities of a leader and protector is that he is made up different emotionally, making it harder for him to sense the truth. Given that there are probably seven times as man men in hell as women, who do you think is being given the best deal here?

      "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church (Messianic Community); and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the Church (Messianic Community) is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church (Messianic Community) and gave Himself for her ..." (Eph. 5:22-25, NKJV).

    This is the way Yahweh has set things up so we really aren't in a position to argue with Him. If you were to make a list of pro's and con's for being a man or a woman in a godly marriage I think you will find that they balance each other very nicely, even if the man has ten wives. In some things the men are going to be better off, and in others it's going to be the women.

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    This page was first created on 1 March 2003
    Last updated on 24 February 2009

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