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    Królewiec Wives 8

    Letter to a
    Surprised Monogamist

      Dear Heather

      Thanks for dropping me a line.

    I see form your picture that you are a very pretty girl. You also seem like a really nice person. Don't you feel that your husband should be all yours?

      No, why should I? I don't feel that my allegorical husband, Christ, should belong all to me, since I know that the love He has for me is not diminished by His love for every soul who comes to Him for salvation and fellowship, so why should I feel the same for a godly husband?

    That you deserve it?

      Where in the Scriptures does it say that we deserve anything? Indeed, where in the whole Bible can you find a 'doctrine of deserving' at all? It's not as though we can earn love, is it? Love is free, it does not place demands of that nature on anyone. Love gives, and does not count the cost. And the more it gives, the more it receives in return. The idea that we 'deserve' anything stems from a doctrine of salvation by works. I don't deserve my husband's love any more than he deserves mine. We give and are filled.

    I've been married for about a year & a half a year now

      I pray Yahweh's richest blessings upon you two!

    and I am my husband's one & only and that's the way it should be.

      Maybe it is for you. Not everyone is called to live polygamously because the majority aren't trusting enough, or aren't willing to, give up enough of their flesh nature to enable them to. Were I to translate your philosophy to Christ's allegorical marriage to His polygamous Bride, the Messianic Community/Church (made up of all the redeemed), I would be saying that only I could be saved! What a lonely and selfish way of life that would be!

    I like being able to come home and be alone with him.

      Yes, there are indeed times we need to be alone with ourselves, with our spouses, and with others. But there is much more to living than that. Hoarding isn't a part of the Gospel plan.

    If I had to share him, I know I wouldn't be happy.

      Your carnal nature wouldn't, that's for sure. I once believed as you did, but found a much higher and more fulfilling path. It is in the sharing that I find the greatest happiness and liberation because it more closely parallels the spiritual life we are supposed to live as redeemed brides of Christ. That is actually the core difference between the flesh and the spirit which are at constant war with one another. And you will remember what Christ said about the friends of the world/flesh being enemies of Elohim (God)?

    Plus I am a Christian and I believe that the Bible says & I can't remember the exact wording that the man & woman shall become as on flesh not the man & women. I was just wondering if you can tell me how you think this is Biblical.

      That is no problem at all, as you would have found out if you had studied our homepage. Indeed, you would be surprised how little most Christians/Messianics know about what the Bible teaches (mostly because they don't want to know). Our homepage will give you a full exegesis of scriptural teachings on marriage at www.nccg.org/fecpp. And if you had looked at the section of the Królewiec Wives webpage at www.nccg.org/fecpp/krolewiec_wives you would have found the answers to your "one flesh" question. The fact of the matter is that a man can be "one flesh" with both a wife and a postititute demonstrating that "one flesh" is not an 'either/or' condition.

      I append one of the article's taken from HEM which gives a very rough outline of what the Bible (and especially the New Testament) teaches about polygamy:

      Malachi 3:6a-b and Hebrews 13:8 --- Elohim (God) does not change (nor would He, therefore, 'tolerate' sin).

      Titus 1:6 and 1 Timothy 3:2,12 --- "One wife" --- mia is the Greek word (for the word, 'one', in those passages) which is actually used for 'first' as in "first day of the week" in Matthew 28:1, Mark 16:1-2, and Acts 20:7. Furthermore, in 1 Timothy 5:9, a widow's "one man" is not mia but the Greek word heis, meaning the numeral-one (1), and not meaning 'first'.

      Exodus 21:10 protects the first (and previous) wife/wives. Note that this verse comes only 22 verses AFTER the 7th Commandment against Adultery in Exodus 20:14.

      Malachi 2:14-15 --- "wife of thy youth" is a man's first wife, the wife with whom he grew and learned how to so love, bless, and edify any wife.

      1 Corinthians 7:27-28d is ONLY about married men (whether or not a previous wife has departed). If a man marries another wife, he and the new wife have not sinned.

      1 Corinthians 7:10-11 is a Commandment of Elohim (God) that, when a previously-departed wife returns, her husband and his new wife (from verse 27c-28d) MUST let the previous wife be reconciled to her husband.

      1 Kings 11:3-4: Solomon multiplied wives (up to 1,000!) which was prohibited and prophesied that a king would do in Deuteronomy 17:17. But that passage in 1 Kings 11:3-4 says his father David's heart was "perfect". Indeed, where Solomon had multiplied (i.e., stored-up, hoarded), David had only added his 18+ wives. (In Genesis 25:1, "Then AGAIN Abraham took a wife... Keturah". The word, "AGAIN", there translates to 'add' --or 'augment'-- in the Hebrew. And, indeed, Abraham was adding his third wife Keturah to himself.) So, Solomon's sin was muliplying wives while his father David had simply added wives.

      Deuteronomy 21:15-17: this is a specific instruction in the Law Itself to any man with "two wives".

      1 Corinthians 5:1: A son had fornicated with his "father's wife". This does NOT refer to the man's mother. Indeed, the term, "father's wife", is a very specific term. Leviticus 18:8 refers to "father's wife" as specifically separate from "mother" in the previous verse of Leviticus 18:7. Note that the "nakedness" of a "mother" is referred to as her own "nakedness" while the "nakedness" of a "father's wife" is referred to as the FATHER's "nakedness". This same differentiation is observed again in Deuteronomy 27:20,16. In fact, what the fornicator had done as per 1 Corinthians 5:1 was the same sin as that of Jacob/Israel's firstborn son. Reuben had committed the identical sin with Jacob/Israel's wife, Bilhah, in Genesis 35:22. (Yes, Bilhah was Jacob's wife - see Genesis 37:2.) And for Reuben's act of "uncovering his father's nakedness" by fornicating with his "father's wife", Bilhah, Reuben lost his birthright as firstborn. 1 Chronicles 5:1 reveals that this was because Reuben had "defiled his father's bed". Indeed, the reference to "father's wife" in 1 Corinthians 5:1 does reveal an actual polygamist identified in the New Testament, i.e., the father of the mentioned fornicator. Matthew 19:8-9, Yah'shua (Jesus) simply repeats the Deuteronomy 24:1 "as it had been in the beginning" when it was written. In Matthew 19:3, the Pharisees were asking about 'every' reason for divorcing, but Yah'shua (Jesus) returned back with the only one allowed reason (the woman's "fornication/uncleanness"), as per Deuteronomy 24:1 .

      "ADULTERY" --- na`aph (pronounced: naw-af') in the Hebrew means, "WOMAN that breaketh wedlock". This applies to that same (as just above) Matthew 19:9 verse. Namely, note that (in that verse) it is because the first husband CAUSED his first wife to commit adultery (by violating Exodus 21:10, see above, in putting her away so as to 'replace her') that he is therefore guilty of CAUSING her adultery. That is HOW he is guilty. He had CAUSED his first wife to 'break her wedlock contract'. And of course, that first wife for 'breaking her wedlock contract' with her first husband, and the 'second husband' for particiapting in that act, are both guilty too. But notice, the SECOND WIFE is not guilty of anything. And if the first husband had not put away his first wife, but instead kept her as well as marrying the second wife, he would not have CAUSED his first wife to 'break her wedlock contract'. Hence, he would not have been guilty of any Adultery in any way. Indeed, Adultery simply and only means "WOMAN that breaketh wedlock".

      1 Timothy 4:1-3a: the "Spirit speaketh expressly" and prophesied of the time of "forbidding to marry".

      For a fuller account of "one flesh" see:


      If you really study what the Scriptures say about marriage free from the monogamy-only traditions that have been imposed on top of it, you will find a consistently clear message about polygamy. And in actual fact, you will discover that the Bible speaks neither of monogamy nor polygamy, but "marriage" which is defined - taking all the scriptures into account - as one man married to one or more women, but not multiplying to excess.

      As for myself, I not only know what the Bible teaches but have experienced the joy and sanctification of plural marriage. I would not exchange it for anything. I have drawn closer to Christ through it as would be possible in no other way. It has shown me a better path for those willing to sacrifice for it, and it has prepared me for that time, which I don't think is very far off, when by shere gender imballance one man will be marrying an average of seven women (Isaiah 4:1). That is, in any case, the sex ratio in the Millennium, and therefore the natural heavenly ratio since by nature women are far more spiritual and receptive to Elohim's (God's) love than men. For now monogamy may be a choice, but in the world to come, it won't be. And I like to think, that in addition to all the blessings I have now living polygamously, that I will be naturally prepared for what is to inevitably come.

      The idea of polygamy challenges a deep-seated fear that has been brainwashed into us by our unbiblical monogamy-only culture that actually stems from occultism and paganism which demand a 'balance' between male and female in the same way that they believe in equilibrising a balance between good and evil. The biblical tavnith or pattern reveals a very different picture, however, namely this 7:1 ratio. We see it, for instance, in the sevenfold nature of the Holy Spirit as revealed to John in the Book of Revelation which is consistently described in feminine terms in both the Hebrew Old Testament and the Hebrew/Aramaic equivalents in the New Testament (not the Greek which was a later translation). And finally, and most importantly, we see it in the consummate climax of the Bible, which, though it begins monogamously with Adam and Eve (as all marriage must begin, even polygamous marriage) ends in heaven as a polygamous Feast of the Lamb with His plural Bride, the Messianic Community/Church. This final glorious picture reveals that the Bride is both symbolically one (the 'Church', an abstract concept) as well as literally plural (the resurrected saints who make it up).

      And that is what polygamous marriage is supposed to reveal to us - namely, that true glory oneness is multiple. This the final consummation in heaven isn't millions of consecutive one-to-one candlelight dinners with Christ but one grand Feast of the Plural Bride and the singular Bridegroom all together. This great and glorious image which we are given to end the Bible with is surely the most potent witness of what polygamy is all about, freed of one-to-one selfishness (which is how all relationships naturally and rightly start), lifted to the heights of the plural reality of joy.

      Though you may not agree with me now I have no doubt that one day, once you have had your fill and all you can 'get' out of 1-to-1, you will see that in truth there is so very, very much more. But the difference between this and the latter is that it is predicated upon giving, and not taking and expecting. The ultimate love does not even see itself and what it selfishly supposes it 'deserves' but is lost in that Christ-like act of total surrender and giving, whose unconscious and unexpected reward is everything, even the fullness of God.

      May Yahweh our Father-in-Heaven bless you and give you all that I have found, and more.

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    Authors: SBSK, KMK

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    First created on 13 September 2001
    Updated on 13 August 2016

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