I am not sure how to start this, but I believe learning how to accept a new wife is an important part of life in polygamous family life and I would like to share some of my experience as we have now had Świętosława here for over two months and are settling down some.
It would be a lie to say I haven't had some struggles, but overcoming them has been glorious whenever I have dared to step out in faith, and rested in Yahweh's love. That is the message I would like to elaborate on here to help others who are struggling..
There are many for me unexpected blessings that are attached to having a new woman enter the household. It has really spotlighted my weaknesses, and even if that is highly uncomfortable for my pride, it is a guarantee of letting my spiritual fruits grow bigger and sweeter if I accept and repent of failings.
Let me start with the beginning. In polygamy I have discovered, already before she came in, that there is no room for putting ones husband before Elohim (God) - I tried and was miserable. I suspect that is a frequent slip that women who are married to loving and godly men make. It is much easier to love a man whom one can touch and get straight answers from than Yahweh, but it is far from satisfying. Polygamy is a real threat to someone who is committing that sin - having a god that is a mere man is already poor, but having to share him as well? No way! The only way to stop being possessive of anyone is by putting Elohim (God) first, not just in words but in every detail. For instance making sure that every effort one makes in life is for Elohim (God), not anyone else or one-self.
When one has laid the foundation of only wanting Elohim's (God's) love, and is at peace with having a new wife come, one doesn't feel that one's value is threatened anymore. Nobody can rob Elohim's (God's) love from his children! This is more or less where I was at when she came (I am of course allowing for blind spots).
I thought I was sturdy. I was wrong. After living with someone for some time it is easy to fall into a comfortable pattern, not seeing weaknesses in ones loved ones and definitely not seeing ones own. Well, Świętosława brought 'fresh eyes'! That punched my ego straight in the face. I wasn't 'Miss Perfect' after all! I didn't really think I was, but having it pointed out - what cheek!
But it wasn't cheek - it was a wonderful opportunity. I have failings still, but I try to pluck them away one by one through repentance and Yah'shua's (Jesus') forgiveness and strength. And how can I if no-one tells me where they are at? All it takes is to stop defending ones errors and make excuses for them and start dealing with them instead.
I'm not saying that I don't see that people judge me wrongly sometimes, but when the judgement is righteous I want to react to it. If I do I will get closer to Yahweh, and not stagnate in my present position. All I lose is selfishness, dissatisfaction, and resentment - well I can live without those.
So to you who are going to have a new wife coming in, or are struggling with this: Let go! Don't try to fight her and be better than her, just find out what Yahweh wants you to do, and do it. That is where our value lies. Then we can be satisfied, and at peace. Then we will be attractive to Elohim (God) and our husband, but not before.
May Yahweh take care of you and richly bless you and make you wise in His love. His blessings don't always appear comfortable and may seem bleak compared to the temptations that are there to keep us away from them, but they are worth it whereas nothing else is.