Kasia's Corner 18
More than a Face
& Worth Far More
I think a fear that is common amongst women who consider entering polygamy, or have entered it, is the feeling of being reduced to a number, or to 'disappear' in the crowd. There is no way of getting around the mathematics that the husband will have less time for each wife every time a new one enters the family. Why is it that Yahweh even permits it, and much less condones polygamy in the Bible, by saying that He himself is an allegorical polygamist (Ezekiel 23:4), if it is demeaning to women? The answer must either be that Yahweh favours men, or there is something else that makes women valuable to Him, their husband and themselves than how many hours they spend with their husband.
First I will spend some time to find out how Yahweh think wives should be whilst contemplating if it is demeaning in any way..
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears Yahweh is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I don't think there is a woman alive who doesn't want to be like her, and have a family like hers. Indeed Yahweh doesn't only like women, He loves them! In the same manner as He loves men:
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Messiah Yah'shua (Jesus)" (Galatians 3:28).
There are many scriptures that distinguish between a man's and a woman's rôle, but nowhere does Yahweh say that women are of less value than men! Both are unique and loved.
Therefore I must conclude that time with her husband is NOT the measuring rod of a wife's value or the substance of their relationship. Let me dig a bit more into the Bible:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - (Ephesians 5:25-29)
There are many profound truths in what Paul taught here, but what I want to point out now is that marriage is built on the same principle as the Christ's (the Messiah's) relationship to the church (messianic community). So let us see how the love between Yah'shua (Jesus) and His own (His church) works.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of Elohim (God) that is in Messiah Yah'shua (Jesus) our Master.
I speak the truth in Christ - I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 8:39-9:1).
Such a strong bond is the one that Yahweh binds between husbands and wives. For me it is part of my identity that Yahweh is my Master, and that He has saved me though Jesus (Yah'shua = Yah saves). My parents and sisters and brothers are also part of my identity, even if I see them only a few times a year, I will always be their daughter or sister. My yougest sister is still a child and is dependant on my parents in another way than I am - but I am still just as much their daughter. There are thousands of Christians/Messianics, but I am still Elohim's (God's) daughter, and part of Yah'shuah the Messiah's (Jesus Christ's) bride. I feel the same way about my relationship to my husband, and my identity as his wife. Being a sister is of course different from being a wife - marriage is far more intimate, but the relationship is just as steadfast as the one I have with the Lord as long as my marriage remains in Him.
Do not think that I want to stay away from any of these - Yahweh, the family I was born into or my marriage. I only want to draw closer all the time, but I am trying to say that my marriage is not based on whether or not my husband shows me attention, because I know he is aware of me constantly. Always! I am part of his identity. Nothing can take that away - neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation because Elohim (God) is the author and the 'glue'.
We are a little fellowship here in Europe, but those who are part of it are closely connected. One of the members lives abroad, yet he is closer than the people in our neighbourhood, because he too is part of Yah'shua's (Jesus's) bride, and we are bound together in His love by the Holy Spirit.
I am not sure how else to explain that numbers don't nescessarily apply in the same way when it is based on Yahweh's love instead of selfish counting each sign of affection shown because one doubts. I think that is where the key lies - does one trust that ones husband loves one even if he is incapable of showing it? I do - my husband loves me. He shows it when he can, and the rest of the time I know he would have shown it if he could. That is why I can rest happily in Yahweh, my marriage and my life. Faith is a very precious gift that multiplies in our love for our Heavenly Father who loved us first.
In order to not get misinterperated here I think I will add a little to make sure no-one thinks that I advocate a licence to hord up hundreds of wives because they should all know that they are loved. Either they are or they aren't. A loving man would never wish to 'replace' any of his wives - and definitely not keep on collecting them to see how many he can get. The reason for marrying is not to collect, but to get back the 'ribs' that Elohim (God) has taken out of each man. Remembering again what Paul said about the relationship:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church (messianic community) and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Mimself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church" (Ephesians 5:25-29).
Every gift brings a responsibility. A godly wife is a very precious gift. A woman that Elohim (God) loves is priceless - handle her carefully - remember Elohim (God) is watching our stewardships, and He will ask us all to account for it. From the very least of what we are given to the greatest, it is all His.
First created on 22 April 2002
Updated on 7 August 2016
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