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    199

    The Polygamy Escape:
    Wrong Solutions
    to Neuroses

    In counselling with numerous people involved in - or wanting to be involved in - Christian/Messianic polygamy, I am increasingly finding that at least on a subconscious level men and women are turning to this lifestyle as a therapeutic method for dealing with neuroses. The results for them have been predictably explosive.

    As Christians/Messianics we are first and foremost in the business of dealing with truth. This at once strikes a discord with the collective psyche of the Western man and woman which has been programmed to believe that the quest for personal happiness ought always to be the #1 driving force in life. Unfortunately, the quest for happiness does not make you free because sometimes we must deal with pain and spiritual illness before happiness can stand a chance. Only the truth makes you free enough to ultimately find happiness.

    For many emotionally injured men (and they are on the rise) sleeping with as many women as possible - whether as a swinger or a polygamist - is their way of hiding from deep pain. The thrill and intensity of the sexual encounter becomes for them an escape and an alternative to dealing with pain. The driving force is always to seek an intensity of pleasure that is greater than the intensity of the pain which they are trying to mask.

    This pain can often be the result of many things but typically it is the pain associated with being left out or feeling a loser. However, he cannot be a successful loser unless he squarely faces the fact. He must run from it. He must have a cover to hide his shame of being a loser. Now the cause of the pain of being a loser may be many things but I think a common cause is the emasculation of the male by the spirit of feminism. Without realising it, the emasculating behaviour of feminists make men more promiscuous, not less. Those without moral or spiritual scruples turn to a free sexual life of no responsibility as Cassanovas and those who have a moral and spiritual base are increasingly seeing polygamy as an outlet and a solution. So the latter turn to marrying more women as a cover to hide their shame of being a loser. Some men become so desparate that their whole being is consumed with this hunt for more wives. They are unable to lead normal, balanced and harmonious Christian/Messianic lives. Their real desires and needs are not, in any case, met by marrying polygamously, and no matter how many women they may find who agree to be their wives, the compulsion will drive them to continually seek more and more.

    Women are entering this lifestyle for their own unique set of wrong reasons too. As I have discussed in other essays, a major problem of the female gender is feelings of worthlessless. A ready made family seems to offer instant stability without the effort of having to deal with their own problems. In a way, they unconsciously hope that their sister-wives will become proxy solutions to their own neuroses, and when this does happen (because it can't happen) a whole battery of self-justifying defence mechanisms can suddenly be activated. Their sister-wives then becomes targets for projections of various complexes caused by parents not loving or rejecting them (or increasingly commonly, abusing them). If the problem is the father (as is usually the case with abuse), then the husband becomes the butt of the hate-projections.

    I was initially surprised to discover in my ministry with polygamous families the extent to which people have split personalities. Now I am finding it a very common occurrence. And the reason this is so common is that there is now so much pain in society that the way people are coping with it is by splitting their personalities off. This is a mechanism that largely occurs subconsciously and is a gift of the Creator to allow us to cope with trauma. It should not, however, be seen as something 'normal' because people with split personalities do not functional normally and find it difficult to form meaningful relationships with others. A case may help illustrate what I am talking about.

    There was a young married woman who manifested three different personalities. The first, Eve White, was a prim, conservative, and highly moralistic woman who could best be described as a paragon of virtue. Her nemesis, and opposite, Eve Black, was relatively unprincipled and impulsive, a seductive character who gravitated toward fun and adventure. These two were balanced by Jane, the most responsible and mature of the three. In contrast to the others, Jane's existence was relatively trouble-free and filled with potential for gratifying relationships. Throughout these three different personalities warred against one another, eact trying to exert its will.

    I repeat, this kind of split personality is very common in the West. People split when impossible and unnatural demands are placed upon them by parents, peers, and society in general so that they end up rôle-playing. The division becomes more and more accentuated as the rôle-playing becomes more intense and prolonged until finally there is a clean break. If you meet someone who seems to apparently have great mood swings it can very often be because of a split personality. Thus someone can be like a little girl one moment, a Jezebellic Matta Hari the next, and a responsible Sarah the next. This is often because they are switching persona. The switching often takes place when certain triggers are activated - a conversation may turn to discussing sexual abuse prompting 'Eve White' to 'exit' and 'Eve Black' (the coping mechanism) to 'enter'.

    Multiple personalities

    When personality splits it is usually three ways - an ultra-moral, a balanced and 'integrated' and an ultra-immoral persona. In cases of extreme pain, each of these can be split further so that in cases of severe abuse you can get people with hundreds of persona. The impulsiveness of Eve Black, the moralistic demeanour of Eve White, and the maturity of Jane represent the intrapsychic functioning of the soul depicted in social terms. We see in this 'internal trinity' a depiction of the struggle between the Spirit of Christ (Eve White) and the carnal man (Eve Black) for ascendency in the Self (Jane). Every man and woman, the opening verses of the Gospel of John tells us, is born with a portion of the Spirit of Christ which enables us to make moral decisions for right and wrong. But the inherited Adamic carnal nature (the 'flesh') wars against us for ascendency. It is only by accepting Christ and obeying His commandments that we become enabled to "crucify the flesh" with all its warring passions so that the natural 'Eve White' can leaven and transform the Self (Jane) into becoming an image of Elohim (God).

    In an unredeemed state, we are partaking of the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good (Eve White) and Evil (Eve Black). This is our 'natural', unredeemed state, inherited from Eve's (and subsequently Adam's) first sin. We eat of the same fruit by physical descent. The unredeemed man who is seeking inner peace without Christ resolves the conflict by taking out 'multiple contracts' with 'Eve White' and 'Eve Black'. Eve Black insists that Sin X be lived out in exchange for agreeing to tolerate Virtue Y in Eve White's behaviour. Thus 'Jane' is both sinning and living virtuously. Eve Black is not, however, a woman of her word and is constantly breaking the contract, 'secretly' introducing Sins V and W. The pact broken, Eve White retalliates by 'punishing' Eve Black for violating the pact. New contracts are negociated, presents are exchanged to seal the deal, and the endless civil war continues with ever changing sceneries. In the middle is the Self, the sum of the two others.

    To visualise all of this you have to imagine a 'self' that has three faces or masks to which are attached three fuel tanks. Eve White's fuel tank is filled with the Light of Christ, Eve Black's with fallen psychic energy, and Jane's is being filled by both. 'Jane' is what you 'are' and what you 'become'. The fuel in Eve White's tank is the leaven in Yah'shua's (Jesus') Parable. The fuel in Eve Black's tank is the leaven of the Pharisees, particularly if it's religious.

    When a soul genuinely repents and invites Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) into his/her life as Lord and Saviour, he is at once surrounded by an invisible mantle or container which puts him/her in right relationship with Yahweh the Father, and he/she is now in a position to be baptised in the Holy Spirit. He/she (Jane) still sins (because of Eve Black) but with Christ she is now enabled to break the sin-pacts and to commence crucifying Eve Black.

    At this point it is important to understand (because of the limits of the analogy) that Eve White and Eve Black are not 'foreign entities', as it were, but genuine extensions or faces of the core Persona, Jane. We are made a three-fold Persona into which are filled the Light of Christ and the carnal, fleshy psyche, respectively. In an undissociated state we are aware of all three as being 'one', a kind of unholy 'echad'. The core Persona is making dozens of choices continually as to whether to embrace aspects of Eve Black or Eve White. A split personality is someone in whom these three persona types have become separated to the point that the connection becomes more and more tenuous, giving them effectively three seats of conscience. In extreme trauma, they can split off entirely and develop as separate alters or people, a condition known as Multiple Personality Syndrome (MPD) or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). There are different degrees of split- or divided-personality.

    The gift of the Holy Spirit enables you to crucify - put to death - eliminate - Eve Black (she will struggle to live at all costs and tell all sorts of lies to persuade you that she is a permanent part of the soul). What that means in practice is that the bridge between Eve Black and Jane is sealed off. The Spirit gives you a 'new life' - you are literally 'born again'. Christ is dwelling within you. Elohim (God) replaces Eve Black.

    The closing of the bridge between Eve Black and Jane is one of personal choice. According to the Bible there are, in fact, seven bridges and seven associated overcomings. Similarly, there are seven bridges to Elohim (God) corresponding to the seven-fold ministrations of the Spirit. The Spirit literally replaces the functions of Eve Black ... if we let Her.

    Integrating split personalities can only be done supernaturally through the power of Christ. This means restoring the subpersonas to their proper positions and interfaces. The soul ceases upon integration to act as three (or more) but as one.

    I believe we have been taught by Western science, and in particular Western psychiatry, to think in a multiple way. This has made splitting personality more 'natural'. Sigmund Freud came up with the idea of an 'id' (Eve Black), 'ego' (Jane), and 'superego' (Eve White) and assumed that they were 'natural'. In this he was, without perhaps knowing it, simply parroting an old occultic concept. We have been acclimatised to the notion that the way we are is 'good' and 'natural' and that our task is to find a yin-yang balance between Eve Black and Eve White. Obviously such a philosophy utterly negates Christianity and enthrones the occultic ideas which have now become the basis of modern psychiatry. We have been taught to believe and live a lie. The result has been that Eve Black has simply cloaked hereself with more and more layers of deception in order to convince us that she is 'needed' for survival. We have learned to accept and integrate her as 'natural' instead of seeing her as our legacy of adulterous spiritual sex between Eve and the serpent. We see in such pernicious modern ideas the false doctrine of simply 'accepting everyone and everything' for that is what Eve Black is the embodiment of.

    The false yin-yang Eve White/
    Black model of personhood

    The Freudian would view Eve White as an 'extreme religious' position. She must find her 'place' as an equal opposite to Eve Black. This kind of religious syncretism is what destroyed ancient Israel when Astarte/Ishtar and other false demon gods and goddesses were set alongside Yahweh. The victims of SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) who become multiple personalities as a result of extreme trauma coupled with intelligent demonic brainwashing are always split into two camps - 'light' (Eve White) and 'dark' (Eve Black) to 'balance' one another. The great fear (also deeply implanted into them) is that to in any way upset this satanic balance is to threaten the whole fabric of their lives. It is a lie. When Christ enters a person upon being invited in an entirely new spiritual order is established, replacing the old one. The 'functions of state', as it were, formerly administered by Eve Black, are transferred to Him. The Eve Black persona has the option of either being integrated with Eve White to become Eve White, or of being dissolved. The reason split personalities remain split and multiple, respectively, is because Eve Black cannot - will not - accept Eve White as being 'right' and she 'wrong' (pride issues) and wants to be treated as an equal and not as an enemy. True repentance occurs when Eve Black 'sees' who she really is, renounces her contract with death, and yields herself up to crucifixion in the faith that Yah'shua (Jesus) will resurrect her as part of Eve White. She has to yield everything to Christ.

    Jane has to do the same. She may be wise, balanced, and have many virtues, but the truth is she is a composite of Eve White and Eve Black. The leavening done on her has to be removed, and that can only be accomplished supernaturally by yielding to Yah'shua (Jesus). Finally - the real shock for many - even Eve White is corrupted by Eve Black! Remember, they are all linked: her corruption is what Paul describes as a "defiled conscience". The clean and the dirty move in all directions.

    The cleansing of the blood of Christ therefore reaches into all three aspects of the self. They are not sealed compartments. And when they split off completely as multiples they inherit, rather as in cell meisois, the three-fold division of the original.

    Using this model it should be obvious that entering polygamy solves no spiritual problems at all. In fact, it can simply compound them or force them to violently erupt. It doesn't solve the man's neurotic feelings of being a loser or the woman's neurotic feelings of insecurity. The anxieties will likely remain. Sometimes when people are thrown together in a polygamous relationship and neuroses bubble to the surface as they muddle through and perhaps effect temporary solutions but mostly things just fall apart. And what can also somethimes happen - and I have seen this happen - is that a new 'unnatural order' can be established in a polygamous relationshiop where the wives - consciously or unconsciously - assume certain 'rôles' to play out the psychoses - and in a family with (for instance) three wives, one can become 'Jane', one 'Eve White', and one 'Eve Black'. When this happens 'Eve Black' can conveniently be blamed for the shortcomings of 'Eve White' and 'Jane' who are not at all what they suppose they are or the rôles they are living out.

    None of this is to say that you can't enter polygamous marriage so long as you have neuroses. What it is saying, however, is that you must at least recognise the nature of the problems and be seeking for a solution in the right way. This means that either the husband must be able to competently minister to his wives or must be in association with other ministers who can and will. It also means, as head, as I have said before, that he has got to get himself fixed first. One neurotic trying to heal another is not going to effect solutions.

    Healing requires confronting the truth of our condition. Turning to things like yoga or meditation not only solve nothing but compound the problem because these techniques involve detachment rather than making connections. Meditation and yoga, with associated religions like Buddhism, are the ultimate self-denial. It requires self-abnegation rather than feeling the self, and it believes (fatally) in the necessity of a mind-body split. By positing that nothing really exists but self - that everything is but a 'painting on a canvass' - it sets people up for the ultimate delusion and denies the need of a Redeemer to integrate the whole. Christianity is the only religion (apart from Judaism and Islam) that believes in a physical resurrection, all the others preparing their disciples for a non-physical afterlife. And of the three monotheistic religions, only Christianity provides the means of resurrection and integration: Yah'shua (Jesus), the Son of Yahweh.

    All doctrines, philosophies, and religions (and that's nearly all of them) that believe in solipsism - the theory that the self is the only thing that can be known to exist - are antichrist, since they deny the necessity or even possibility of 'knowing' Christ! This belief is actually the core doctrine of Satanism which is why all other religions are, ultimately, satanic. Satanism 'works' on the principle that in order to heighten one part of yourself you have to suppress the other - usually the moral Eve White, of course.

    A Vedanta monk reports how he repeated his mantram and practiced transcendental meditation for 12 years and that he often found himself in a state of bliss (Nirvana). But the final result of this 'bliss' was a complete mental breakdown and the need for help. This state of 'bliss' comes about as the result of a complete suppression of the self and gives one over to a fantasy of ones own creation, a merging with this product of ones own imagination, and a loss of reality. It is a state of total unreality, a socially institutionalised psychosis.

    It has to be said in all candor that many 'Christians'/'Messianics' do exactly the same thing. They create a 'Jesus'/'Yeshua' fantasy within themselves and try to merge with it, and the result is a progressive loss of reality. The true Yah'shua (Jesus) is no fantasy but a living reality, and a fruit of His activity in the soul is to enhance reality, not supress it. He causes us to deal with real issues and not pretend they don't exist by burying them away. When people claim they have 'merged' with 'God' or with 'Christ' (or any other 'deity') - when they claim they are perfectly 'one' and in a state of 'bliss' whilst denying reality around them and in them, you know that they are in a demonic delusion and lie. Their experience may seem genuine because they back it up with an impeccable theology and as a result people tend to overlook the inherent irrationality of their belief system.

    The denial of reality leads to psychosis

    Our Order has always taught that true Christianity makes you confront and deal with reality - things as they really are. Satan is the one who spins illusions and tempts us to 'merge' with them - illusions tailor-made to our own dispositions and weaknesses. Christians/Messianics can enter polygamy with all kinds of fantasy pictures in their heads and end up deceiving themselves because their fantasy is always uniquely their own and can never correspond with anyone else's, and end up living a kind of 'Christian existentialism'. There is no possibility of true echad in a world of fantasy. That is why the only polygamous marriages that will work are those which are in Yahweh's will, for only these are based in reality. The Name of Yahweh Himself means 'the Ultimate Reality' - Ultimate Truth, not the fantastic lies of Satan.

    Yet people spin illusions and fantasies, often as a means of coping with pain, but also because that is the way we have been brought up or the way we have been influenced by false religion, man-made philosophy, and erroneous psychiatry. Look at the number of shrinks there are today! As Hungarian comedian George Mikes humerously yet accurately commented: "Psychoanalysis is the disease it pretends to cure". And largely that is true. If psychoanalysis merely perpetuates myths and fantasies, what good is it? For the only psychiatry than can ultimately help is that which links us to reality and then calls upon Christ to heal.

    I am currently helping a Christian man who believes he has found his soul-mate and who believes she will solve all his problems. And yet he is totally blind as to who she really is. He is living in a very demonised fantasy world which is pushing the fantasy as reality for all its worth. Every relationship he has been in has been a disaster because he prefers the counsel of his demon-guides (which he denies exist). Obvious facts simply elude him. He is, to use a mediaeval concept, 'enchanted'. The demons are playing with him like cat-and-mouse but he refuses to see the cat. He is convinced that He is being led by the Spirit even though this spirit has caused him to lie, deny reality, and to ignore scripture.

    Many women have come to our family interested in being a part of it only to leave rapidly because we insisted that reality be confronted. And though I am frequently accused of being hard-nosed because it this, in truth I have no choice: lies never made anyone happy. I have been accused of being a 'narrow-minded religious fanatic and biggot' for sticking to my guns and yet each time I have watched as those caught up in illusions and fantasies suffer and suffer. Fantasy never brought happiness. Reality may be - and often is - painful, but there is no way you can be liberated in the Truth without dealing with it honestly and courageously. I would rather have the insults of men than pander to lies in order to make someone 'feel better' in their self-deceit. I am often threatened by them too, as with a certain Buddhist in the polygamy community who has invented the most incredible fairy tales with which to discredit me, whilst never producing a shred of evidence for his allegations, a man who can only be utterly deceived in his own illusions or by the illusions and lies of others. They are, sadly, the losers, and their blissful Nirvanas but wind.

    We follow a Christ who is the Ultimate Reality. To be a Christian/Messianic means we need to see all things clearly and be free of deception. To be a Christian/Messianic means to be willing to pay the price to get this vision, for without it, we can never act upon the sin areas of our life and be free. Christian/Messianic polygamy, as I have said a hundred times, is as open to abuse as any other kind of relationship, but when lived in reality, in truth, and in love, is the means by which great happiness and contentment may be found.

    Yah'shua the Messiah/Jesus Christ is the only Ultimate Reality

    If you have never been willing to confront illusion and fantasy in your life I invite you to do that now. Invite Yah'shua (Jesus) to expose all lies, fantasy and illusion in your life, and ask Him to replace it with Truth. If you need help, get in contact with us and we can either counsel you ourselves (as we have time) or hopefully point you to counsellors in your area.

    Author: SBSK

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    First created on 15 June 2003
    Updated on 2 April 2016

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