Over the years I have made myself highly unpopular because I am prone to challenge people's motives for doing things, especially if I discern that those motives are less than honourable. To be sure, Christ Himself admitted that good could be done by those preaching the Word from false motives, but He never finally condoned such people in the end. The final demand of the Divine Son is that we always fall into line on the strait and narrow path and go through the same narrow gate as all the rest.
The fact that many are teaching, preaching and even living Christian polygamy for less than pure motives is not to say that Yahweh cannot, and is not, using such persons. He most certainly is. But there is always a time of 'balancing the books' in any ministry or life, when Yahweh calls everyone into account and starts exposing hidden agendas and lowly motives. He did this with Jacob the Deceiver and we need not suppose that He will pass by the modern Christian/Messianic polygynist.
People do, as we know, become 'religious' for a variety of reasons - that is, they put on a pretense (deliberate or unconscious) because they do not possess the 'real thing' - life. For such religion becomes mere outwward profession, a theatrical show, pursued for any number of reasons - to get recognition, power, money, and maybe even sex. So it would be rather strange, would it not, were we to look at the modern Christian/Messianic polygyny movement and not expect to find the same sorts of nominal Christian/Messianic rogues exploiting it for their own selfish reasons just they would, and do, in the Christian/Messianic world at large.
I have come across not a few unscrupulous rogues and charlatans in the Christian/Messianic Polygamy movement already. And, you might be surprised, some women too who are bathing in the notoriety that public exposure gives them. You need not suppose that all the rascals are men. I even know of some women who have entered Christian polygamy with the express purpose of destroying it by throwing a spotlight on those corrupt men practicing it. Satan, as always, tries to infiltrate and subvert anything and everything good. And, quite naturally, he always starts with the men and women at the 'top' if he can.
My first word of warning is this: if you come across a man or a ministry who has been painted as a 'brigand' make sure you carefully check the facts first and don't believe everything you hear from the gossippers and tittle-tattlers. Many a good minister and ministry have been destroyed not because they were bad but because the forces of evil conspired against them to smear and so discredit them. It is therefore important to check your sources carefully and to hear both sides of any story. And it would be helpful if you got acquainted with the persons themselves to dig behind the black-and-white of lifeless print. Don't engage in lashon-hara.
I do not therefore recommend that anyone lives the polygamous way of life as solo Christians/Messianics if that can be avoided. It is better to attach yourself to a local church (assembly) or ministry where you are known and where there are others of good reputation. Not only that, but being known as a person by as many persons as possible, is highly desirable, by both believers and unbelievers, so that you will "have a good reputation with outsiders, so that [you] will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap" (1 Timothy 3:7, NIV).
Some polygamists are rogues seeking cover amongst the decent
At the same time, we must be on the watchout for rogues seeking respectability in churches (assemblies) and ministries with a good reputation, in order to conceal their true selves.
There can be no doubt - because this is a question of marriage - that the greatest danger in this movement is what I call the 'Sex Rat' or the 'Sex Trap'. As most of us have experienced by now, most outsiders approaching us to know more about polygamy are focussed on sex and the bedroom. They want, as it were, a cam in place to that they can titillate their lusts. That such an interest, though understandable from the point-of-view of their own carnal world, is revolting and offensive to us simply does not register with them because they cannot understand what spiritual marriage is. How can they when they are walking spiritually upside down?
The world of many polygamy hopefuls is spiritually upside down
Most of us can spot an unregenerated carnal man or woman a mile off. And, yes, there have been carnal women actually wanting polygamy too! Hard to believe? I had one woman who virtually 'demanded' to join my family. She would, she said, give me 'sex' in exchange for being 'taken care of' (including being given breakfast in bed!). She was mortally offended (not to mention confused) when I sent her packing. I simply did not fit into her stereotype of men - the men she had known in her life and who had, like most carnal men, presumably treated her like a sex-object who could be bought.
No, I am not so much concerned with carnal men and women who stick out like sore thumbs but Christian/Messianic men and women who house an unwelcome and dangerous spiritual guest which a Presbyterian minister once astutely called a 'sex rat'. These are men and women who have given their lives to Christ but who haven't yet been cleaned out properly. The men are attracted to polygamy for 'more sex' (just as the anti-polygamists accuse) and the women because it offers them (as they suppose) some 'stable' bisexual lesbian sex on the side. Spotting these people, ministering to them, and - if necessary - expelling them, is the object of the instruction in this essay today.
For two or three months in 2001 I did the circuits of the Christian/Messianic polygamy chat rooms, bulletin boards and other nooks on the Internet. I 'lurked' (as it's put) to simply watch the conduct of those wishing to enter this lifestyle. Some men use these places as soap boxes to boast of their theology, ambitions or achievements, and some women are there just to gossip and natter amongst themselves. Many of both sexes go there to flirt and a good many to advertise themselves in what a friend of mine aptly calls the Polygamy Meat Market. And so it is. In one chat room I was suddenly beseiged for information on my age, height, complexion, and other physical characteristics. I told them my age out of defference to those thinking I was some knight-in-shining-armour bursting with testosterone and high adventure. Invariably, the majority were only interested in physical appearance, worldly success (or lack of it), whether the men were well situated with good jobs and homes, etc.. The few who did show any interested in spiritual matters usually brought these things up afterwards.
My fourth wife, who was as keen on the 'web' as I was back then, seemed to attract amorous men interested in polygamy for all the wrong reasons. She once posed as a single female under another name to 'test the waters', crafting an image as a volluptuous Scandinavian as bait, and was appalled at the carnality of prospective polygamous men. She gave them a good repremanding, bless her soul.
To be sure, there are a lot of 'fakes' on the internet - unbelievers posing as believers, men posing as women, and so on. The bulletin board of a friend of mine was infiltrated by a prostitute recently but was fortunately exposed by the detective work of one of the members. So one must not be premature in judgment.
According to the minister who originated the term, a 'sex rat' is a demonic entity that resides within the spirit of a human being. Contrary to what a good many Christians/Messianics who accept the reality of demons believe, a born-again Christian/Messianic is not automatically free of these spirit-beings. This is not to say that such persons are 'possessed', a term which conveys the idea that they have no free will left in themselves whatsoever, and who are compulsively led around by their invisible masters. But it is most definitely to say that in spite of the initial regeneration (the "Christ-Alpha/Aleph" of our salvation), the process of spiritual overcoming (as detailed in the Book of Revelation and other Johannine writings) has only just begun. The fact that born-again Christians are still plagued by sinful habits which, despite all attempts to end them remain to haunt and torture them (such as same-sex attraction, for example), is indicative of demonic strongholds that must yet be overcome.
It would be naïve at best, and foolish at worst, in our over-sexed and perverse Western liberal society, to suppose that your average unbeliever coming to Christ isn't going to bring with him a number of sinful habits of a sexual nature. Many churches (assemblies) make matters worse by falsely teaching such converts that they are completely 'clean' and sometimes even 'sin-free' upon profession of faith, causing these converts to minimise or even ignore their very real problems. It is not therefore suprising that the level of morality amongst those Christians who call themselves 'born-again' is not always appreciably higher than the outside neo-pagan world. They indulge themselves in much the same sort of culture of music and other entertainments and in so doing witness to the fact that they have one foot in Babylon still. And as Christ said, you can't be in both worlds - you can't serve two masters (Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:13) or drink from a bitter-sweet fountain (James 3:11).
So when Christians - men and women - coming out of this non-commandment-keeping milieu, amble along attracted by polygamy, my alarm bells go off loudly. I know for sure that many of them have 'sex-rats' without knowing it necessarily.
The background of the 'sex rat' image is the United States of the 1920's, somewhere in the South, I believe, where a revival was taking place. This minister had set up his tent and the choir was performing on the stage prior to the sermon. After the musical number was over, the minister went to the stage and declared under the spirit of prophecy that a spirit of adultery was present. He declared, in the name of Christ, that there was a Pastor present who was living in sin and that he was fornicating with a young woman musician. Moments later, the pianist stepped forward and confessed that she was the guilty one, saying that she had been seduced by the pastor (if polygamy had been the law of the church at that time, he would have been forced to marry her!). Following her confession, the young woman fell to the ground, opened her mouth, loudly groaned, and about a dozen RATS came pouring out of her mouth. As you can imagine, the audience in that tent-meeting was shocked and hardly able to believe their eyes.
Yet it happened. Afterwards, in his memoirs, the minister explained that these rodents were 'sex rats', manifestations of the demons which had taken hold of this woman because of her sin of fornication (not, incidentally, adultery, which it would have been if she had been married and he had not).
Now I can verify the existence of these 'sex rats' myself from my own experience in the ministry. I was at one time talking to the leader of a New Age cult and Yahweh showed me in vision a beautiful white-haired rat. But when the rat opened its mouth and I saw row after row of needle-sharp teeth, I knew what I was dealing with. And as it turns out, the man was quite the libertine - a polyamorist, in fact (one who sleeps with other men's wives as well as his own and unmarried women).
Infestation by sexual demons has reached epidemic proportions today. They literally multiply like rats too. If, for instance, a man sleeps with a woman who has slept around with other men, he will become infested with all her demons. Demons are literally 'passed on' like bacteria and viruses so that sexual contact between people who have had lots of other sexual contacts ouside the covenant of Christian/Messianic marriage (one man married to one or more women) literally causes them to multiply, putting those who inherit them into more and more sexual bondage, which in learn leads them to seek more sinful sexual 'highs'. Some Christians, who may have inherited demons from sexual contacts before their conversions, may see in polygamy an opportunity to realise the next sinful 'high' without necessarily realising it. If men especially find themselves pushed towards this lifestyle because of a deep sexual urge, the chances are that they may have a sex-demon problem.
I do not therefore accept the argument advanced by some patriarchs that polygamy is a solution for men with high testosterone levels who might otherwise be led into sin because they are 'burning' (1 Corinthians 7:9). I can think of no more unspiritual reason for entering polygamy! Marrying only because one cannot control one's libido was only advanced by Paul as a last resort to stop those who might otherwise fornicate as singles. If polygamy existed solely (or even for one reason) to fulfil a man's uncontrollable libido, then a woman by the same logic ought to be able to take more husbands if she has high oestrogen levels! Since we know that this is not what polygyny is for we must dismiss the argument that it exists to prevent a monogamous man from committing fornication! God forbid that Yahweh would create a form of marriage only to meet the carnal needs of certain out-of-control men!
A person who is a monogamist and who wants to enter polygamy should be having all his sexual needs fulfilled in his existing relationship. If he is not, then the fault lies in the relationship. I am not denying that in certain cases a man may be sex-starved because of a frigid wife and can so find genuine release in a second wife, but what I am definitely saying is that he must not take a second wife and neglect the problem that exists with his first wife - he should continue to seek to help her with her difficulty. Polygamy, like marriage, is not primarily psychotherapy or even physiotherpy for those with sexual problems. Marriage exists for other reasons as discussed in other articles.
Having said all these things I do most certainly believe that a man entering a polygamous marriage for the right spiritual reasons will be enabled to fulfill the sexual desires of all his wives. But what I am not saying is that he should enter polygamy in order to fulfil an inordinate sexual desire. Such a person needs to have any sexual problems resolved through counselling and deliverance before entering polygamy because the extra women that lie before him will only tend to exaccerbate the problem. Indeed, a man with a sex-life out of control entering polygamy will likely want more and more women to satisfy his lust until he eventually burns himself out and degrades his whole family.
And finally, I am not saying that there is no such thing as 'sexual therapy' in marriage. As described in Hanna's Essays on Sex, sexual love is important in bringing comfort and healing apart from intimacy. The issue, here, is getting sex and polygamy into right perspective.
I have met men and women from failed polygamous marriages. The problems they faced were multi-faceted, to be sure, but one common problem was that the parties had never really got all their sexual knots untied before entering patriarchal marriage. They were driven by forces they little understood as sex-rats slashed a trail of spiritual destruction. One man related to me how his second wife would see mental images of previous lovers as they made love and experience violent mood swings. Their marriage did not last long.
In our day and age of promiscuity and sexual perversion, people coming to Christ and the churches (assemblies) are bringing along with them a lot of demonic sexual baggage. This has to be sorted out. In our family and fellowship, everybody entering the local congregation after conversion goes through routine deliverance ministry. This involves - especially if a couple are planning to marry - confession of previous sexual liasons, repentance, breaking of ungodly soul-ties and and the casting out of demons associated with these things. All my wives have been through this. Even after marriage, if we discover unrepented sin, we go through a deliverabce session together, and have discovered an enormous enhancement both in our marriage relationship and in our spiritual life generally.
You must get your sex demons removed before marriage
Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are not a virgin when you marry (and even if you are but have various sexual problems or hang-ups which you know are sinful), then I cannot emphasise strongly enough the duty you have to undergo deliverance. For if you as a woman (for example), have had ungoldly sexual relations before entering plural marriage, then any demons you have within you which haven't been cast out will pass directly to your husband and thence to all his other wives when he has sex with them. THIS IS ONE REASON POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE MUST BE KEPT PURE AND HOLY for within it Satan can do considerably more mischief than in an ordinary monogamous one.
The fact that many Christians/Messianics do not recognise this as a problem actually compounds the problem. A century ago, when there was a higher moral standard in society, deliverance probably wouldn't have been as necessary. But these are not, however, normal times.