There are many polygamists who sadly see polygamy as a grind, a burden to bear, a cultural tragedy or a prison, when lying before them is an ocean of potential joy. The problem, in this case, usually lies with the man who has no idea of the divine gift that he has been given by Yahweh. He must till the ground and allow Yahweh to plant a Garden of Eden which he must tend in which his wives and children may find happiness. He must also -- and this is of paramount importance -- win over his wives by love, not force. Love is an attractive force, not compulsive.
For me, marriage is a garden of beauty. I see in my wives something of infinite worth and I try my best to let them know that they are infinitely precious to me. Each one is unique, each one has qualities that I can only describe as Christ-like which I would like to enjoy myself and have everyone partake of. I know there are plenty of warts but I try not to see these. I would rather see them as brides in their bridal dresses, splendidly arraigned and reflecting the perfect virtues of femininity. I wish to adore them and share the innermost secrets of my heart. I wish to trust them with the most sacred and intimate thoughts and feelings that any man can possess.
My foundation is loyalty. It must begin there. I will always be true even if they are not true to me. My loyalty is built on an agreement or covenant taken in the name of Christ at the marriage ceremony. That covenant I will never break even if she breaks it. And when she takes that covenant in the same spirit as I do, I know we are built on a rock - Christ - that will never wash us or our marriage away.
My wives also covenant to be true to one another, and this is something unique in a Christian marriage. They will love and cherish each other as they do me. There is a mystery in plural marriage which cannot be understood in monogamy, and it is this: though my wives have no lesbian relationship with one another, yet they are one in flesh through their physical union with me. Only those who understand the oneness Christians feel for one another because of their oneness with Christ will appreciate what I am trying to convey here. It is something very, very beautiful - something that two sisters in the Church/Messianic Community, or in a blood relationship, can never understand. It is the mystery of being a co-wife or sister-wife.
There is a divine synergism that takes place in plural marriage. The more my wives are one with one another, the greater is my joy. When they are divided, it is like a sword piercing my heart. A polygamist operating in the Ruach (Spirit) and not His human flesh-nature can never be at rest unless ALL his wives are at peace. I therefore strive to make all my wives happy, whilst at the same time not pandering to the flesh-nature, which is our greatest enemy. They know too that they cannot just sit back and let me do it all - they are under a divine mandate to make things work too. Love and concern for another wife impells them to seek to love all the more and to serve all the more too.
Polygamy is romance par excellence. I am in love with each wife individually. They are all different and so the bond I share with each of them is different in its characteristics. Yet the quantity and quality of love is the same - the conduit for that love - our relationship - may be different for each life, yet the love that passes through that conduit is the same. I love each one as though they were my one-and-only and as though they were my many-and-only, for both propositions are true in Echad Polygamy. And the love I feel for one passes over to each of the others. The joy that comes from this love is infectious - it hits every one. As one wife causes my heart to swell and grow for her, so my heart grows and swells for the others to. The more one loves me, the more I love all, and the more I love in return. For once you receive this love you can think of nothing else but sharing it. Thus all partake in a wedding feast of mind, heart, body and spirit. This is the mystery of oneness (echad) and plurality which you learn in polygamy are but two sides of the same coin of love.
Plural marriage is like a dance - a dance of the mind, heard, body and spirit. There is constant movement. There are solo dances, duo dances, and dances where we are all dancing. We enjoy the romantic poetry of dance which is very much like ballet. Yahweh complains when He pipes and we do not dance (Matthew 11:17; Luke 7:32) - He wishes to enjoy the beauty of His children in motion, doing much righteousness. Actual dancing is therefore symbolic of the spiritual dance of our souls for each other and in serving others. Whenever we can find the time, therefore, we like to dance and enjoy one another's movements. There is usually no fixed choreography - we all move as we feel fit, reflecting our unique personalities, though we do have fixed dances too. It doesn't matter if we think we don't know how to dance because the Ruach (Spirit) teaches us. Our unique dances are therefore reflections in which the Ruach haQodesh (Holy Spirit) moves us to uniquely perform our callings and manifest our giftedness. In our family, then, dance is something very special for us. It used to be in ancient Israel but somehow the Church/Messianic Community forgot all about it except in the theatres where it became secularised without Yahweh. Thus we perform sacred dance. We never dance unless Christ is invited there to be with us. It is spiritual, just as our marriage is.
There are several of us as I write this but we look forward to more. We have a vision of love endlessly multiplying through sharing, giving and being loyally committed to each other. We are many faces but all one. Not only do I gaze upon my brides but Christ gazes upon us as His symbolic bride too. He is a part of our dance and are oneness. He IS our dance and oneness. What a joy this principle is! Only Yahweh, in His great love and compassion could ever have conceived of it! It is a miracle of never-ending growth, of new discoveries, new ways to love and be loved. Where it will end for my family, only He knows for sure. It is enough to know that we are all gifts of the Father to one another, brought together to bring glory to His Name in the way we conduct our lives. Experience has validated this form of marriage as godly when it is lived according to true Christian principles.
This has, of course, been my account - the husband's - but you will find my wives' testimonies and experiences in other on this website. They each have a unique story to tell. We are here to serve you in your understanding of the principle. May Yahweh bless you through His beloved Son, Yah'shua/Jesus. Amen.