"To become a human means to be able to empathise with others - to have a functioning spirit which through our bodily senses can commiserate or rejoice with another. It means ability to hurt empathetically for another; concerning concience it means to allow ourselves to be hurt in advance lest our brother be hurt. Thus the least indicator of the ability to be human is to have a working conscience. The essence of humanity is told by conscience. When we do not have a functioning spirit, filled with love, we cannot care for how our sister feels, nor do we feel bad if we happen to be the ones who have brought her harm. To be inhuman is to be dead to concern for the welfare of our fellowman" (Sandford, Ibid., p.271).
A person engaging in homosexual or lesbian sex with a member of the same gender is not living according to a clear conscience because such relationship inevitably lead to spiritual harm and to an ultimate deadening of the conscience. When guilt for wrong-doing ebbs away, then genuine care and love for others inevitably suffers too.
We look around and we find extreem examples of dead conscience everywhere. The bestial acts of street gangs, the mindless violence, state torture and victimisation - all are witness of the death of conscience. If you want to find one dominant cause (though not the only one) it is fatherless children or children with unloving or violent fathers who lack parental rôle models of love and discipline (2 Timothy 3:1-5).
"We are born possessing a spirit. But our spirit does not yet know how to love another. That capacity must first be awakened, brought forth, instructed and disciplined. The task of nurchure and discipline is spoken specifically to fathers: "FATHERS...bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers give life and nurture. Fathers are primarily responsibile for calling forth that life and shaping it.
"The capacity to be sexual as an adult is formed in a girl as her spirit learns to nestle safely in the strength of her father's arms. As she romps and plays, rocks with him in his chair on his lap, curls up on his chest, and delights him with her, she learns what it is to bless and be blessed, to trust herself restfully into the hands of a man, to let her spirit flow into another's and back again. She learns how to let her spirit come alive in the embrace of another of the opposite sex. A woman who has never been allowed such life with her father may not be able to reach a climax in sex, because the high moments of climax require letting go control of herself into the man, and she can't do that. She may enjoy the physical titillations of sexual union, but the glory is far from her because that capacity has never been aroused to function. She may never even know she has missed what God intended. Only one who has tasted mountain air can truly be aware that the muggy heaviness of a river bottom atmosphere is not all there is to breathing"
(Ibid, p.271-2).
A lack of safe non-sexual physical contact with her father is typically one of the problems that can lead to lesbian tendencies. But there are others. Nowadays in some European countries it is known that up to 50 per cent of all children are sexually molested to one degree or another by one or more parent. 50 per cent! That means you have only a 1 in 2 chance of growing up in a sexually safe environment at home! But that's not the only threat that modern children must face: other statistics reveal that as many as 12 per cent of all adult males are pedophiles (child molesters). So even outside the home (where you have only a 50:50 chance of not being sexually abused) you face similar risks in the wider world.
Sexual abuse does untold damage to the spirit. If a small girl is abused by her father or by any man (but especially her father) it can lead to a hatred of men and an unconscious flight from the desire to seek union with a man. So she seeks sexual safety with the gender which has not abused her - other women. The trouble is, the sexual comfort she seeks is just another form of abuse, albeit voluntary. She finds herself in a vicious cycle of ever increasing abuse.
I mentioned earlier that men and women have two cardinal God-ordained rôles in the marriage relationship. Yahweh specifically commands men to love their wives and not be harsh with them, and wives are to be volunarily submissive and obey their husbands (Ephesians 5:25,28; Colossians 3:19). That doesn't mean that women shouldn't be unloving, or that men don't need to be obedient themselves. The point is that women are naturally loving but men are not, and women are naturally disobedient. Paul merely addresses the deficiencies in both. Men must work to be loving (not becoming macho beasts) and women must work to be obedient (not becoming militant feminists). The apostle identifies their respective weaknesses.
A girl learns to be naturally submissive and obedient to her future husband by feeling safe in the arms of her father. A boy learns to be naturally loving of his future wife or wives by feeling the love of his mother. This is an over-simplification to be sure, but I put it this way to identify what are often major deficiencies in the personalities of boys and girls as they grow up and why marriages often fail and why this leads to sexual deviancy.
Lesbianism can be caused by other factors too. Homosexual rape is one, or simply experimenting in lesbian sex. I know of many women who think they are lesbians because they engage in lesbian sex but who engage merely for the titilation and not because of same-sex attraction per se. They discover after a while, however, as they train themselves to like lesbian sex, that their orientation preferences change also, especially if they have bad experiences with harsh, dominating men.
The human spirit is fragile and easily damaged. Understand this truth also: that sex outside of covenent marriage (monogamous or polygamous) can have NO blessedness. Sex outside marriage does not ultimately lead to happiness and inner peace. But how to you convince a lesbian or a bisexual woman who has perhaps never seen such blessedness, happiness and peace at home? What rôle models could she possibly have? We are formed in our childhood - natural sexual growth in adulthood is not possible once your childhood has been wrecked.
But there is supernatural deliverance. The miracle of Christ is that He does heal and He does it repeatedly. Lesbians, bisexual women and men and homosexuals are being healed all the time. But to be healed requires a re-education of the spirit, trust, and ultimately, obedience to Yahweh's master plan. And by healing I don't just mean 'ceasing to be a bisexual'. By healing I mean coming to wholeness - coming to be a complete human woman, where love replaces hate, giving replaces taking, kindness replaces bitchiness, and purity replaces impurity.
Author: SBSK
