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    A35. Journey Back to the Womb

    A large majority of people these days believe that an unborn child has no real consciousness until its brain is suffiently developped to be able to process advanced sensory information. This has led to the belief that a foetus isn't really 'human' until is has reached a certain age, an error that has been used to justify abortion (a euphamism for murder of the unborn). Secular psychologists like Arthur Janov have to a large degree dispelled this myth and have shown that the unborn are able to experience trauma within the womb at a very young foetal age.

    The Bible takes a very different view of unborn children which it regards as fully human. Even Satanists and demons know this which is why they curse their unborn as early as the first month following fertilisation. This trauma is enough to fracture the unborn child into alters or subpersonalities and it has been our consistent experience in working with Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) victims that their earliest memories of trauma extend back to the time in the womb. Almost all SRA children are born mentally fractured. So sensitive, in fact, is the unborn child, that it can pick up its parents' attitudes. If the parents want a boy when the unborn is a girl, this can immediately result in the child - who wants to please its parents - to be what it is not, tempt it to believe in a lie, and result in early demonisation and an aberrant view of self-gender leading to, amongst other things, homosexuality. Yes, children can be born fractured and demonised! An unborn child can feel rejected and unwanted if the pregnancy is an 'accident' of fornication or adultery and lead to a different kind of internal fracturing - indeed, the child may not actually want to be born at all. Protected though an unborn child is in the dark watery womb in many ways, it is not protected against everything, and relies on its father's covering spiritually and psychically. We know that drugs and alcohol can malform children in the womb. We know that smoking can severely injure them physically. We know that they pick up the music that their parents listen to and the psychic atmosphere of the places their parents frequent. A child when it is born is not therefore a 'blank sheet of paper', as it were - it has already been alive for 9 months and has already started forming psychically. Indeed there was one client I knew of whose mother had an adulterous relationship with a priest during pregnancy which led the child to not only turn against God but become a homosexual because of hatred for the priest whose spirit the child had been forced to interact with during their intercourse.

    This article today, however, is not so much about theory or other people's experiences but my own journey back to the womb when my wife theophosticised me. It was a fascinating experience which I would like to share with our readers and follows in the wake of my own personal search for identity following some experiences in clients who were illigitimate and had experienced demonic problems from the time they were conceived.

    The womb is a strange twilight world yet it is of course not 'seen' as such by the unborn because it has nothing with which to compare it. It isn't breathing either otherwise it might experience accute chlostrophobia. Neither is there much of a sense of day and night though when I theophosticised back to my own memories of the womb I was at times able to see a feint glow and occasionally pin pricks of light at certain places. One thing I was immediatrly aware of when I started connecting to womb memories was how accutely aware I was psychically ... I seemed to have an intense awareness of what both my parents were feeling and experiencing. At one point during the experience my mind was just filled with vintage cars which was one of my father's passions when he was alive. Interestingly, I never had a particular like for cars when I came into the world and was growing up for reasons that will be apparent presently. I suppose my father must have been looking at a magazine or was at a show at the time because I saw all these pictures flooding into my mind. I was, however, disconnected emotionally from what he was experiences as a result, as it turns out, of a conscious decision.

    Although the brain of an unborn child is not formed and able to process ordinary sensory information as adults can, it does have an active and fully functioning psychic body which is able to understand many things, and which forms the programming of the physical body as it matures. Attitudes are well established already inside the womb. My experience back into the womb formed in me in such a way that I was born with several deeply held 'convictions' - I hated alcohol, smoking, bad music, and ungodly sex, and was totally disintereted in my father's interests (in particular, trains and cars), something that was to grieve him as I grew up. Indeed, my hobbies seemed to be 'opposites' in a way, like planes and ships instead of trains and cars.

    As I was theophosticising with my wife, I encountered two traumatic expertiences. The first was experiencing the ungodly sex of my parents. I was intensely aware that it was impure even though it was entirely between them. Interestingly enough, the baby as a psychically-aware being is able to see pictures quite accutely though what he sees is not so much the real physical world but things as they are experienced emotionally. Thus when I experienced my parents in the act of intercourse, I was able to see a picture, but it was distorted rather as an image is distorted in a convex or concave mirror because it was not pure. Indeed, I learned that the reason why demons do not look human in their 'natural' state is because of the way sin and evil has so completely disfigured them. Originally they looked like you or I but over the millennia of evil-doing, they have progressively lost that original image of Elohim (God) both in terms of looks and size. Some are miniscule, like flies, and others vast in size, reflective of the kind of power that they have obtained. When an unborn child 'sees' psychially, therefore, his views his parents and others 'as they are' psychically too. So when I 'saw' them in the act of intercourse, it was distorted and ugly. I don't know how many times I experienced this as an unborn as I only theophosticised one particular memory but I do remember it left me with a distorted image of what sex was supposed to be too.

    There were two other memories which I theophosticised. My womb memories seemed to have been of two types: the little that I could see with my physical eyes, in which everything was a dark twilight world, and what I could see psychically. Psychically the inside of the womb is a fascinating thing. It's like the inside of an igloo only the walls aren't smooth but made of thousands of tiny spheres like white styrofoam. Around this sphere are various entrances or doors along with other structures which I could not comprehend. 'Things' would come 'in' to ther womb environment. Through one portal 'something' came in which made me recoil with shock. I am not sure if I was aware of exactly what it was then, but using the data I now have, my psychic body was able to inform my brain while theophosticising that this was alcohol. I experienced it like a poison, for that is precisely what it was.

    In another theophosticised memory I saw what loked like some etherial substance enter the womb environment and was again led to understand that this was the effect of smoking. My experience of this was definitely demonic because the next thing I was shown in vision was my umbillical cord. The cord, which I was seeing psychically, was transparent and through it was coming this luminous green sludge towards me. It was revolting to look at and it was coming into me. I experienced, first hand, what it is like for an unborn child to interact with poisonous substances (like alcohol and nicotine) and demons passing into my system from my mother! And I was traumatised. Add to this the ungodly sex they were having and you can imagine how I was in shock.

    Now my parents were by no means evil. They were ordinary, 'decent' secular people. The last thing they would ever have wished me was harm of any sort. I was, however, conceived out of wedlock and was, by biblical standards, a bastard and therefore cursed, even though my parents subsequently remarried and made things 'right' according to the moral requirements of the 1950's. I was not, however, properly 'adopted' back by father (who knew nothing of spiritual things) and so remained illegitimate. That curse has haunted me all my life until I discovered what it was (see previous article in this series).

    To cut a long story short, as the result of my experiences in the womb, I did not want to be born into the world, fearing what would await me there afterwards. During the theophostic process I experienced the beginnings of the birth. I could see and feel the contractions in the womb. The walls moved like waves - it was brighter than usual perhaps because of the hospital lights. I could feel the walls of the womb moving me towards birth. I did not complete the theophostic into birth but one thing stands vividly in my mind. I saw, waiting for me, a dragon belching fire. I knew it wanted to kill me and prevent me coming into the world. After the theophostic event was over I was immediately reminded of the following passage of scripture:

      "Now when the dragon saw that he had been cast to the earth, he persecuted the woman who gave birth to the male Child. But the woman was given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness to her place, where she is nourished for a time and times and half a time, from the presence of the serpent. So the serpent spewed water out of his mouth like a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away by the flood. But the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed up the flood which the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. And the dragon was enraged with the woman, and he went to make war with the rest of her offspring, who keep the commandments of Elohim (God) and have the testimony of Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ)" (Rev.12:13-17, NKJV).

    I do not know how or by what I was protected because I saw nothing else in the theophostic moment though I do, of course, know that I was under Yahweh's protection. The upshot of this theophostic experience in the womb was that I discovered a part of myself that did not want to be born because of what I feared would be waiting for me in the world with parents who had been willing to poison me with so much ungodliness. And so as a result of this theophostic ministry, I 'agreed' to be born and never to 'return' to the womb mentally, breaking my self-covenants in this area.

    Womb-regression is a well known psychological condition called amniosis. When we get afraid, we can do one of two things: (1) We can boldly face whatever is confronting us and overcome it, or (2) we can run and hide and refuse to face it. The latter is called amniosis. When that happens, we quench the life force in us because Yahweh's will is that we be born and life life to the full, dealing with the problems which the enemy places before us and overcoming them through faith and divine equipping. Throughout my childhood I was literally in hiding - I preferred to keep to myself and minismise the possibilities of hurt and confrontation by staying away from risky situations. Amniotics avoid taking decisions and as I rule it was my practice to postpone decision-making to the last minute. It took me half my life to start overcoming this problem, achieved only by Yahweh pushing me to the brink. The restraining force was fear, fully backed by demons, and its root was to be found in the womb. Even in the womb we can come to believe in lies. Even in the womb we can learn to be 'atheists' by not trusting. And if we fear our fathers (in particular, but also our mothers) we are at once handicapped in coming later on in life to learn to trust God who will seem as remote to us then as our negligent and perhaps even abusive father where when we were in the womb and after birth. Our first pictures of Yahweh come through our mortal fathers! That is why the responsibility of father's are awesome, it is why they are called to be leaders, and it is why they come under a heavy condemnation when they abandon their calling.

    I dare say this is a very common phenomenon, if not universal in different degrees. Frabkly I am amazed we even survive in this world with the odds so heavily stacked against us. Little wonder few want to be born. Little wonder the angels chose to be angels! I have certainly met many amniotics. In my earlier sermon on this subject I link amniosis to the pre-deliverance Egptian experience. The Israelites in captivity wanted to be free ... and didn't want to be free at the same time. Egypt was where they had been born and raised. Egypt was their womb experience and there was this constant tug to return to it - its slavery and its fleshpots. They felt 'safe' there, ironically, yet they were not supposed to remain there. Yahweh had called them out. They wanted 'out' but they were afraid of the risks and the pain of leaving the familiarity and 'security' of Egypt, so they hummed and hawed. Nine of the ten plagues were for them! The Israelite nation was in collective amniosis just as modern day Israelites are - people are hiding, refusing to face the truth, refusing to move on in their deliverance, refusing to leave the national cultures that birthed them an connect to the Biblical Israelite one - most believers want to compromise in that area. But we aren't supposed to remain in the womb - we have to deal with physical reality and not rely on merely the psychic vision by which we judged when in the womb, the only sensory system practically available to us. Birth is necessary so that we can move into a new world.

    Now the occult, as you all know, plays on and exploits the psychic. It shuts off the spiritual and abuses the physical in order to force us into psychic mode as the primary means of non-physical perception (though it is mistakenly called 'spiritual' ... one of Satan's clever lies). These parental abuses can be of many forms, including ungodly sex, alcohol, smoking, drugs, bad music, and so forth during pregnancy, which drive our spirits into hiding and reprogram our psyche satanically. If the trauma is bad enough, it can cause personality fracturing (MPD/DID).

    The womb experience is one of the primary formation points of our life. Satan has deliberately blinded the world to this by getting people to swallow the lie that a foetus isn't even human. But the foetus is no mere blob of cells - at every phase of its existence, from the moment of conception, it is alive and aware. The spirit is present - intelligent, self-aware, feeling, and thinking. It is interacting with its physical environment through a highly sensitive psychic interface. That spirit is not some new creation like the physical body and psyche but has pre-existed (though this is not a reincarnation, which is the demonic lie and counterfeit).

    Pregnancy is a sacred event. From the moment the parents of a newly conceived child are aware that they have brought a child into the world, they should be receiving that child with gratitude to Yahweh, directing their love towards, and blessing it with all the blessings of heaven. The mother should be in conducive surroundings, eating healthy and non-poisonous foodstuffs, listening to gentle and nurturing music, and in general treating the child like a prince or princess coming into the world. A newly conceived child knows whether it is wanted or not. It knows whether it is welcomed or resented. It knows whether it is loved or hated. Anything negative in its experiences will create fear and dread in it that can lead to fracturing, sexual abberations (homosexuality and lesbianism often starts in the womb), and amniosis.

    Demons know these things and get their satanist dupes to hate their own flesh by hating the newly conceived and cursing them. One of the reasons the majority of SRAs have not come to deliverance and healing so far is because of the accute amnisois they suffer from and the ignorance of most deliverance of the tools available to them. They are filled with a dread of reality, a frightening reality which is reinforced year after year by mutltiple traumatic abuse.

    Yahweh does not, however, abandon either the SRA survivor or the majority of us who have just gone through the 'normal' pains and vicissitudes of life. He is there waiting to rebirth us. Christians, as a rule, have grossly oversimplified the "new birth" principle and reduced it to the repetition of a mere salvational formula which, as a soul's intent and purpose is very necessary, but as a final and complete deliverance doesn't even scratch the surface of the Plan of Salvation. Baptism by immersion reminds us that we must go 'all the way'. On the psychic plane we are rarely totally immersed in Christ all at once but must be multiply 'baptised'. The Book of Revelation tells us that we must go through at least seven overcomings or 'rebirths', pictorally shown to us in the seven-fold baptism of Naaman the Syrian leper-General in the River Jordan (2 Ki.5), and the seven-fold equipping hinted at in the seven-fold Ruach haQodesh (Rev.1:4; 3:1; 4:5; 5:6). It is only the false and oversimplified doctrines of the paganised and lawless Church that has kept amniotics fed with the lie that they are 'saved' and 'delivered' simply upon a confession of faith - the "once saved, always saved" or "once in the womb, always in the womb" doctrine. The truth is we must receive Yah'shua as our Lord and Saviour which is our spiritual conception but we must yet be born, delivered and brought to maturity and fullness. This is the lesson of the Exodus Experience, a lesson which, if it is not learned, keeps people in bondage in Egypt.

    Fathers, cover your children!

    Unless you were conceived in holiness by parents of deep faith in Yah'shua and Torah-obedient, the chances are you will need to go back to the womb to resolve a number of issues. Satan knows this which is why he wishes his interference at that time to remain hidden. Somehow instinctively I always knew this was so, even before I knew about deliverance, for I would, whenever my wife conceived, always bless my child by laying my hand on her womb, speak to the child (they can hear sounds too), direct love towards the unborn child, and play soothing music to it. For some reason Yahweh always blessed me with prophetic foreknowledge about nearly all my children, showing them in vision to me as well as naming them, sometimes even before they were conceived, presumably to make them more real to me. We can, and should, pray over our unborn. We can, and should, be breaking generational sins and ungodly soul-ties with them even before they are born, for Satan's servants and his demons are working on the unborn as much as they are the born. Here a father's covering is paramount, and if a woman has conceived out of wedlock, she needs to repent and either get her lover to marry her and formally' adopt' his unborn (breaking the curse of illigitimacy) or she needs to get an adoptive spiritual father to annull such curses and ungodly ties whether the child is inside the womb or out. This patriarchal gift of our Father should not be neglected! It is given for our blessing, and for the blessing of our children.

    When we are living righteously according to the commandments then our offspring will be blessed and grow up into godly men and women. The investment of time, holiness and purity is surely worth it for their sakes!

    Holy parents breed godly children

    This page was created on 3 April 2005
    Last updated on 7 April 2005

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