Facing the reality of who we really are may at first seem daunting and hopeless - who doesn't want 'second comings' and instantaneous change? We have certainly been conditioned to think that way by our fast food culture. I believe, with solid scriptural justification I might add, that we are simply supposed to "fight the good fight with all thy might, Christ is they strength, and Christ thy right" the rest of our lives, going from one small victory to another. This is hope - always. All that's required is courage and a determination to press on. Whether it is our sense of responsibility to others, or shere will that propells us on, it must be done. Grace remains and hope abounds. And I think such a determination is our act of daily repentance. Such inner tensions and struggles that we have were obviously foreknown by Yahweh from the beginning and are purposeful in ways we have not yet likely begun to fathom. He will not desert us. I have come out of the cycle of festivals facing myself as in no time previously, and actually conscious of both the poverty and futility of self-justification. "Just as I am, my only plea."

We do remain human - thank goodness! Whatever we will become is not for us to lose sleep over, for there's not much we can do about it in the overall sense. The thing is not to stand still and stagnate, both for our own selves and for those of our family. Wives and husbands must move on together and be mutually supportative. Whatever I am or whatever I may feel, I have the duty and calling to move family and church forwards according to the vision Yahweh has given me, taking one day at a time practically. They thought World War 2 would be over in three months - it lasted six years. The reality is that life's struggles last all ones life, and expecting shortcuts is dangerously naïve. If Yahweh intervenes - as He sometimes does - all well and good, but we probably should not expect too many Damascus Road encounters. Living that way, as the charismatics do, just opens you to disappointment and possible deception, especially in these end times.

As far as the latter is concerned, the danger is now very real. I watched a show about the world's 50 best magical tricks the other day and was convinced that occult powers were in operation. Leviathan, flying around rooms, making the space shuttle disappear, walking on water, being sawn in half without a concealing box, were just some of the astonishing things I saw. These things engage the carnal eye.

(From the Diary of Lev-Tsiyon, 7 October 2003, England)