In this throw-away society, the prevailing attitude seems to be if a marriage is not what we want it to be we can just throw it away and get another. Rather than directing efforts to strengthening and keeping the covenants we have already made, so many direct their efforts to place blame and look for someone or something to make them happy, little realizing that happiness, true happiness, comes from within, from a heart at peace with Elohim (God) and obedient in honoring its commitments.

Like any worthwhile goal, a happy marriage must start with the idea that the commitment is total and lifelong, problems to be solved, not run away from. And the most effective way to begin to solve any problem is to look to ourselves with honest assessment and to hold ourselves responsible for our own happiness and attitudes rather than subject our partners to that responsibility. It also helps to learn not to care or be concerned with who is wrong or right but how to fix the problem. I think basically it returns to the idea that we are all responsible for our own actions and attitudes. We cannot control what someone else says or does, we can only control our responses and attitudes, and perhaps through controlling our own responses in a more positive manner, we can then truly find happiness not only in our marriages, but in all our relationships.

Author: SBK