We have been looking at how to proceed with courtship and marriage according to Yahweh's Way in our MSN club, The Truth of Christian Polygamy, lately and there is a tangent to this that I wish to touch on today, using the Bible and my own experience I hope to clarify a little about how I conceive marriage to be, and in that way I hope to illuminate what one encounters so that preparations can be made by whoever is planning on marrying at this time.
I was young when I married (mid-teens) and will talk to young women in particular and their spouses (be they older or young too). One thing that is characteristic of young women who wish to walk Yahweh's path is that they wish to marry the right man. This is commendable but also leaves them vulnerable to abuse (any man who claims to be the right one will get attention). A second trait that is particularly present amongst those who are in their teens or still live with their parents, is that they are aching to fly away from home. This urge has no doubt been placed there so that we don't stay home for the rest of our lives, but again it is a very vulnerable time. Anything far from home and the dull familiarity and duties of that life, is very attractive. Whatever will certify that the lady is a grown up now, will be embraced eagerly especially if the safe surroundings of an established family is offered along with this - that is something a polygamist has a greater ability to offer than a young single man.
I myself have tried this and was very attracted to Stanisław because of these things. Patience was not my strong side either at that time, and I think I am not the only one. As you can see every posibility of abuse lay in Stanisław's hands at that time. I had no way of really knowing except from the fact that my parents also approved of him, and how I had faith in the impulses I got which I believed to be from Yahweh.
Now, not so long ago a couple was betrothed in our congregation and in Biblical times, after a couple was betrothed, the husband would go to his father and together they would prepare a chamber (or house) for his wife and then whenever the father saw fit, the bridegroom would dash off to collect his wife and expect her to be prepared (even if she didn't know when it would be) - Just like Christ has gone to heaven to prepare a place for us and will expect us to be ready when He returns at the time His Father sees fit.
I believe this is a very important part of marriage. The absence and longing. It proves ones love. My marriage to Stanisław has recently been put through that test, I was no longer able to just remain because I believed it was the right thing, but now I know that our marriage is built on free will and love and I am ready to fight for it, just like I am ready to fight for my faith in Yah'shua (Jesus) and won't ever give either of them up because of opposition.
If you marry someone because you believe it is right, start building, so that you ensure that it will stand the test when how right it is will be opposed - not until you yourself have asked that question for real will you know where you belong. But once you have passed through the time of trial you will enjoy the marriage feast with your entire mind, heart and body. Trust will have been established and you will have tasted the Kingdom of Heaven.
Postscript (2016) - A couple of years later Kasia would leave for the second time and this time not come back. On this occasion, however, her issue was her very faith in Elohim (God) and with mounting doubts progressively leading to atheism, so not only did her narrative of her life with me and our family progressively change and evolve, but desperate choices were made so that love turned to hate in order to justify those fateful choices. As Martin Luther King Jr. testified: "Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true". Polygamy exites hatred and persecution all by itself, but when your loved ones turn on you in order to justify abandoning the truth, the pain is all the more excruciating. Truly the Saviour said that a "man's enemies will be the members of his own household" (Matthew 10:36, NIV). As we enter the end times and as hatred of Christ and the Gospel increases, so we must expect hate campaigns to mount. The tragedy is when your own family joins in. Kasia knows better. Please join with me in praying for Kasia, that she may find Yahweh and Yah'shua (Jesus) again and return home to her family where she is yet loved and has an important work to do. Kocham cię tak bardzo, Kasia.