Q. Is it true that while plural marriage is allowed it's not ideal? Is it true that Moses allowed it because of the hardness of the Israelite's hearts?

Christ Upgrades Moses' 'Easy Divorce' Rule

A. 'Easy divorce' is the only example in the Bible of something Moses permitted because of the hardness of men's hearts. When Christ came He was particular to tighten up the lax rule that had been exploited by ungodly men to get rid of wives who dispeased them for any reason (Mt.19:8-9). Had plural marriage been in the same category, something would have been said about it by Christ and the apostles along the same lines as 'easy divorce' but there is no such reference in Scripture nor historically. Indeed we know that plural marriage was still practiced by those who could afford it in the first century during the harsh Roman occupation, particularly by the aristocracy and wealthy merchant classes. Scripture last mentions the practice in 1 Corinthians 5:1 where a young man is sternly rebuked for having slept with one of his father's wives (the same word construction as in Deuteronomy 22:30).

Herod Antipas' Adultery

John the Baptist was quick to rebuke Herod Antipas for illegally marrying Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, while his brother was still alive, accusing him of adultery (Mt.14:3ff.; Mk.6:17ff.; Lk.3:19ff.), and the subject of adultery is addressed 28 times. Not only that, but Yah'shua (Jesus) went further than Moses in defining adultery to include lustful intent (Mt.5:27-28). Had there therefore been so much as a hint that plural marriage was something inferior but 'permitted' because of the hardness of men's hearts - or worse, that it was adultery as some say it is - you can be sure that the Saviour would have had something to say about it.

Five Common Attitudes Towards Plural Marriage

There may be said to be, broadly speaking, at least five attitudes towards plural marriage amongst Christians and Messianics:

• 1. That it is proper marriage and even superior to monogamy on account of some of Yahweh's own friends being called to practice it like Jacob (whose four wives forever established 12-tribed Israel), in spite of mistakes made as is true in all forms of lawful biblical marriage;
• 2. That it is equal in status to regular monogamy;
• 3. That it is inferior but permitted still;
• 4. That it is inferior but its permissable status was abolished in the New Covenant;
• 5. That it is, and always was, adultery - or was permitted before Christ but is now adultery.

The Witness of Scripture and History

Tackling these positions in reverse order we may say that:

• 5. Plural marriage is never classified in Scripture as adultery, which was the position of Herbert W. Armstrong of the Worldwide Church of God cult and is the default position of many Protestants, who for the most part are reacting emotionally rather than scripturally. For a practice to be a sin, there must be a commandment prohibiting it and a penalty executed against miscreants. You will search the Bible in vain for so much as a hint of such a ruling;

• 4. There is no scriptural or historical evidence that plural marriage was abolished in the New Covenant by Christ or the apostles. Not until the edict of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian (527-565 AD) was polygamy officially banned in the Roman Empire (Judaism followed suit in 1000 AD). Prior to that various attitudes were held by the Roman Church that were more in line with pagan Roman tradition, namely, that a man could only have one legal wife and that a mistress or two was permitted. Many of the Roman Catholic clergy lived this way in the centuries before celibacy became the rule. Therefore precident to have the right to ban plural marriage was claimed by the Western Church because of its presumed authority to judge scripture and legislate; this particular ruling of Justinian has therefore carried over into Eastern Orthodoxy and Protestantism without ever being seriously examined.

With positions #4 & #5 being overwhelmingly the majority view in both Christendom and Messianism on account of scripture rather than any sound exegesis, this position being emotionally reinforced by the clear abuses of plural marriage in Islam, Mormonism and some other faiths, this leaves us with the three remaining minority positions:

• 3. The 'inferior, but permitted' position is often taken by more open-, as well as liberal-minded, who wish not to contradict Scripture whilst remaining emotionally distant, in order, as they suppose, to be honest. It's really a position of neutrality or fence-sitting, and is to my mind a posisition of double-mindedness (Jas.1:8). You will find this position embraced by those who still live plural marriage but for whom the struggles involved with the flesh may have subsequenly dampened their enthusiasm, leading them to have doubts. No such moral category exists in Scripture and in my view is a halfway-house towards moving in the direction of #4 & #5. My seventh wife, when she converted to Eastern Orthodoxy, took this position when she finally left, and has either shelved the inherent contradiction or since repudiated it in favour of Eastern Orthodoxy, assuming she either remained with that denomination or is even a believer still. I know this to be the position of a number of wives, both my own and others, who either do not believe plural marriage will exist in the resurrection or marriage as a whole - see Eternal Marriage, thus obviating the need to tackle questions raised by #1 & #2;

• 1 & 2. We will take #1 and #2 together as they are closely related. As already discussed in considering a related question (lax divorce laws) there is no question of plural marriage simply being 'allowed' and therefore being 'inferior'. The argument is often made that plural marriage was only ever encouraged when there was a shortage of men as was the case after the Thirty Years War when the Roman Catholic Church permitted already married men to bring the families of those who had lost husbands and fathers for whom there were no marriagable men available for a generation, ostensibly to prevent harlotry or marrying unbelievers, amongst various reasons. But Scripture nowhere ever teaches that marriage may be a 'temporary affair' like that. Marriage is simply defined, taking the whole counsel of Scripture together, as one man married to one or more women provided it is within his means to propely take care of them (i.e. not marrying to excess) and provided he treats all the wives equally, particularly in the matter of inheritance. (We'll not here include concubines who are a separate category, but full wives). There is nowhere any indication in Scripture that plural marriage on earth is either superior or inferior to monogamy. They are not distinguised, let alone named - thus the categories 'monogamy' and 'polygamy', 'polygyny' or 'plural marriage' are in truth man-made categories. We are not supposed to differentiate between them. There is but 'marriage' which may, or may not, consist of more than one woman - period.

Is Polygamy Superior to Monogamy or Vice Versa?

How shall we, then, regard this matter of whether one or many wives is better or worse? This is not a biblical thought and therefore unspiritual. To think otherwise is to lead to the kinds of excesses, with the attendant misery, that accompanied Mormon polygamy until that Church denied it's own purported revelations and banned in it order to be politically correct and prevent annhilation by the US Federal Government. For Fundamentalist Mormons, at least, polygamy is superior to monogamy, driven by the false belief that the more wives a man obtains, the greater his glory in the heavenlies. Needless to say the Bible teaches no such doctrine.

Only One Sound Question Really Needs to Be Answered

There really is only one sound question that the sisters in particular need to answer, and for which they must, for their own subsequent peace of mind, receive a word of revelation from God before entering the practice: Am I called to marry this unmarried or married man? If a woman is called, by direct revelation from Heavenly Father, to marry a man, then that is the superior form of marriage for them. Moreover, becoming plurally marriage isn't simply 'allowed' or 'permitted' but is positively commanded - therefore, in spite of any struggles as things are worked out, this is what is best for them both in this world and in the next, which will bring greater joy had they limited themselves to a monogamous marriage to a man they were not commanded to marry. All other questions are essentially unspiritual because they do not recognise the sovereignty of God.

Continued Marriage in the Next Life is Conditional

Moreover, it should be understood that such a command by Yahweh to marry a polygamous man does not necessarily mean this marriage will automatically resume in the resurrection for, like all other rewards, this is contingent upon obedience and faithfulness in mortality. One may be called into something but fail to attain the first resurrection (where marriage continues) but fail to meet the criteria of that resurrection glory. A man who is married either monogamously or polygamously commits adultery in mortality and never repents of this gross sin, that is second only to murder in its spiritual ramifications and was punishable by execution in the Old Covenant, may well find himself single in the next life, as also would be true of a woman guilty of the same.

Two Examples from My own Experience

I cite two examples from my own story:

• 1. The second woman I married (Isabel) was told by Yahweh that I would be her husband with her knowing beforehand that I was already married monogamously. Indeed, she was best friends with my first wife and was therefore an intimate acquaintance of the family. She also knew beforehand that plural marriage was a scriptural practice though the church she belonged to (which I and my first wife, Suszana, were no longer members of), though having practiced polygamy in the past, had by then forbidden its practice for over a century. She therefore had to deal with the implied contradiction in her church's tradition and what God told her to do, something she would never have dared do had Yahweh not spoken to her directly (and probably the reason why direct and unambiguous revelation of this kind was necessary for her personally); and

• 2. In the second example marriage was not in either of our minds - not in mine because I had determined I would not marry again (for a variety of reasons) and not in hers (for her own personal reasons). She had attempted several times to make contact with me online for friendship and counsel but I had not been initially interested until finally I was impressed by the Spirit (after her third attempt, I think it was) to acquiesce and offer friendship and ministry. So this was a revelation that she would struggle with for some considerable time, not helped by the fact that her Protestant friends, upon whom she was dependent for ministry, had warned her that this was 'heresy' and 'adultery' (as was to be expected).
  Advantages and Disadvantages of Plural Marriage

Is plural marriage superior in any setting or under any set of circumstances? Certainly. But it can also be disadvantageous, at least for a season, if the husband predeceases his wives, as is usually the case, for how, then, shall the widowed wives be taken care of? Unless the man was wealthy (like Abraham or David, both of whom were called God's friends - Is.41:8; Jas.2:23; 2 Chr.20:7; 1 Sam.13:14; Ac.13:22 cp. Jn.15:14-15 - the wives would of necessity need to either provide for themselves per pro Isaiah 4:1) or, if the order of Israel is being properly observed, they would become the responsibility of their respective firstborn sons. This means that the question of plural marriage can never be viewed in isolation but in the wider familial perspective. Mortality is full of uncertainties and unexpected events that may be functions either of Yahweh's will or foreknowledge, or the result of poor choices made by humans along the way.

God Will Sort Out Who We are Eternally Married to in the Resurrection

As far as the next life is concerned, for those who are faithful in all things, those of the highest glory spoken of by Paul (which he likens to the brilliance of the sun - 1 Cor.15:41) - the children of the First Resurrection and inheritors of the Holy City, the New Jerusalem, then they may expect to be plurally married based on the the observation that women will outnumber men seven-to-one. This does not mean that those thus married in the Millennium and beyond either lived plural marriage or were necessarily in the 'right' families (as people often mistakenly marry the wrong persons in mortality and are obligated to be true 'until death do we part' barring immorality or abandonment - meaning that Yahweh will sort out who belong to who when we are reunited with Him). By then, though, what objections and obstacles that we may have encountered in mortality will no longer be present - owing to the banishment of all tempting demonic entities and the burning away of the carnal nature - will vanish and plural marriage be seen by all in the highest glory as being both natural and highly desirable when lived in the proper, holy, set-apart way. We will all 'choose' what kind of relationships we will remain in, or start afresh, based on the choices made in mortal life and Yahweh's sovereign will. Importantly, we will be content and happy.

Two Fundamental Choices

Thus the equation is seen to be quite complex but the choices we face are fundamental:

• 1. To choose Christ and live the commandments and way of life of Messianic Israel - the redeemed; and
• 2. To obey God in marrying the spouse - or spouses - that He has chosen.

Provided we do these two things Yahweh will take care of everything else, including with whom (if anyone) we are married to in the next life, and how many.

Conclusion: That Which is Ideal for You!

To answer your original question, then: the one (or ones) you are called by Yahweh to marry is not only 'allowed' but also 'ideal' - for you...and them, which also means we are not to compare with other marriages. Every relationship and every marriage is unique because every human is unique and gives glory to Yahweh in unique ways, plural marriage being one of those. Yahweh knows what is best - and it might be best for you to be in a monogamous marriage or a plural one. Either way, we are not to judge others who are aligned with the commandments and not in violation of Scripture. All you have to do is choose to embrace the right spouse(s) - God's choice - and cooperate with Him, in faith, as Rebekah did or as Yahweh engineered by sometimes strange (to us) circumstances adapted to all the choices we have made in the journey through life (as with Jacob, Leah, Rachel, Bilhah and Zilpah) or David's legitimate seven (excluding Bathsheba) or my own marriage or yours. That's what matters. Just do what Yahweh tells you and stick with His choice because it's not going to be a bed of roses all the way - it never is...there are trials and tribulations in all marriages, and especially plural marriage...inevitably...because so many people are involved. Just remember: what's right is always worth it. So do what is right for your life in Christ and don't start doubting or looking back like Lot's wife. Be constant. Be true, loyal and faithful.

Author: SBSK

First created on 27 June 2025 Updated on 5 August 2025

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