Q. My wife and I talked quite a bit about the 'big issue' [polygamy] this weekend. She has seen me reading again about polygamy and that makes her nervous. She is frightened about it. She has the view of the world that a man can only love one woman ... that if he loves more than one his love must be diminished for each. I've tried to explain to her that a man's love is not a 'net sum loss' situation ... in that if he loves a second his love for the first must decrease by an equal and opposite amount. Intellectually she understands it, but in her heart she can't. She knows and accepts that polygamy was allowed by God, but she can't see why He would allow it. She sees it as the inferior to monogamy. As others have suggested, she says that God sometimes 'allows' or 'puts up with' things He doesn't necessarily 'want' for His people ... such as earthly kings for His people. She says that it is strange that God didn't keep the reality of polygamy alive for the last 2,000 years. She says that if He can keep the truth of salvation alive ... that if He can keep His Word preserved ... then He should have been able to 'overcome' the Roman influence of monogamy on the Christian church. It is a good question. How would you respond to that?
The way into a woman's heart is often through a woman's world, namely,
children, friendship, etc. As you both have had several children this should
be easier than with a one-child family. I always try to teach as the Saviour
did by letting the Spirit set the agenda, time, etc.. Popping spiritual
truths at unexpected moments when the greatest spiritual impact is to be had
works wonders. Yah'shua (Jesus) was brilliant in doing this.
To illustrate: once (long ago), when one of my wives was having a problem
yielding to my authority and overcoming her years of feministic
indoctrination to submit, kicked up quite a fuss. She was clearly building
up to a climax which I knew, through the whisperings of the Spirit, would
lead to her threatening to leave me. But before she was able to fire her
final defiant salvo of rebellion, the Spirit gave utterance, and I said to
her calmly and almost in a whisper: "What you are about to do, do quickly."
You should have seen how she had the carnal ground cut from under her feet -
in one instant all her argumentation was felled, the Spirit bore witness to
the fact that she was filled with the Judas spirit, then her TRUE
Christ-like spirit rose up in rebellion to silence her carnal one, and there
was peace. The resolution was supernatural. I never had a similar
recurrence. Whenever the carnal nature arises cobra-like she sees it
instantly, struggles, repents, and is becoming more Christ-like in her ways
all the time.
This little quotation may help your wife 'at the right moment' (I don't know the
I cannot give you a recipe, as well you know, but I can hint at the
mechanism Yahweh is likely to use. When you are 'off topic' you can,
without being obvious (that will admittedly be hard as she is now so 'on
guard') talk about children and how parents love them, explaining that when
a second child is born the love of the parents for the first one does not
diminish. It is the heart, as you say, that needs anointing now - it is
important for the man to therefore 'think female' and learn to 'comprefeel' - talk out of the heart - ask the Spirit to anoint you viâ that route....
"So every one on all sides is waging war on Satan. Funny how Satan is only
visible when one looks into the camp of one's enemies. But it's the Satan in
one's own camp that is the real enemy, and that one is invisible. He hides
in the blind spot. From there he shows himself to one's foes, and lets them
know that he is there, but hides himself from the ones inside the camp in
the place they dare not look. So all are blazing away at Satan, and never
hitting him, only people, just as blind to Satan's presence in their own
camps and only able to see the Satan in the camp of the other guys. I guess
we really are that stupid, because that trick still works, even after six
thousand years. Satan is a mirage projected by the mind of man into the camp
of his enemy, and at the same time he is the man himself who is projecting
Of course, she is right about kingship - only Yahweh never enshrined kingship in His Law -
that's the difference. That is a fairly easy argument to demolish.
I would reply in typical Jewish fashion with another parallel - one to make
her work out the reason herself: How come Elohim (God) managed to preserve His Word
for 1,000 years but was unable to ensure that the common people had access
to it (since the Priests kept it chained up)? Always make your questioner
think for him/herself because the chances are they won't be listening half
as intently to your answer as their own!
Polygamy was preserved, of course, in Elohim's (God's) Word, but it was 'chained up'
for a millennium in fulfillment of Paul's Thessalonian prophecy about
marriage and diet. You can point out that it belongs to that category of
prophecy which Yahweh uses to illustrate His omniscience and Sovereignty -
one could ask a thousand similar questions as to why, for example, the
knowledge of a Suffering Servant Messiah was almost entirely absent from the
Jewish consciousness at the time of Yah'shua's (Jesus') ministry.
There is an important spiritual reason, I believe, which few ever touch
upon, and it's this (not all polygamists agree with me): namely, that Yahweh
wanted to reserve polygamy for a time when it would fulfill many prophetic
rôles including giving the Church (Messianic Community) a picture of how it should be governed
today. It is, after all, the model Yahweh has consistently given, but it
required a time like our own - at a time of almost universal apostacy - to
show believers the way back to the true order of the Kingdom of Heaven.
We find ourselves in a situation where Pastors are no longer the spiritual
fathers of their congregations but are under the control of various
'Boards'. The Pastor's salary is actually the noose around his neck for it
is his livelihood and he knows that if he steps doctrinally 'out of line'
with the Board that they will string him up. But that is not true of
patriarchal government. A Pastor must be free to teach ALL the Word
unfettered (though guided by apostolic leadership), something which is almost impossible these days within denominationalism.
I believe that Yahweh is using polygamy to turn the Church (Messianic Community) upside down - to 'complete the Reformation' and to bring the New Covenant to its completion.
Polygamy is not simply the icing on the top of the cake for good men but the
very FOUNDATION of the Church of God (Assembly of Yahweh), since it is reflective of a divine
principle that permeates all theological truth. It has therefore been
reserved, for this time, to PURGE THE CHURCH (Messianic Community) and to SET IT IN ORDER. This is my belief.
Yesterday I was chatting on line in a Christian discussion room. When they
discovered that I was a polygamist they turned on me with a vengeance. I
never told them what I was - they read it on one of my on-line profiles.
Before I could get a word in, they were 'praying' for me, 'casting demons
out' of me, saying I wasn't a minister, wasn't saved, didn't know Jesus, was
dirty, perverse, a wolf in sheep's clothing, etc., etc.. You can imagine the
scene, I am sure! When I insisted that the Word be the sole arbiter, I was
shouted down. I pasted up scriptures and was booted off two times though Yahweh allowed me to finish my task.
Now this is illustrative of the mad blindness that affects the Body - of the
Word being chained up. This is the Pharisee Church that confronts us today
and it brings out the very worst in believers. What is so special about polygamy
is that it DESTROYS EVERY IDOL of the Bride of Christ. The Bride's sulphuric
response (and believe me, the language from some of those 'Christians' was
unbelievable) is exactly the same as the response of individual women who
have been blinded by the Pharisaic hypocrisy and lies. There isn't
admittedly much you can do when you are surrounded by the mob but you can
speak to individuals quietly and patiently, giving the Spirit plenty of room
to work in, and then Yahweh works. This confirms what Christ taught about the
final purging out of the remnant - that churches (assemblies) and denominations will
crumble and His Bride, who hears His voice, will come out from amongst the wolves.
This is the final gathering.
So polygamy has been reserved as the "winnowing fork" of a polluted
Christendom. Can you imagine how it would have been degraded by the Catholic
Church, even assuming it could ever have allowed such a system? Polygamy
would have acquired the same sort of ugly reputation as indulgences and all
the rest of the extra-Biblical Catholic paraphenalia, and it would have been denounced by
the Reformers as the slough of the whore Church. So Yahweh wisely kept the
principle hidden up until our time. This is what He has revealed to me in
Surprisingly I have received much hostile criticism from fellow polygamists
who see the lifestyle as no more than a 'welfare' form of marriage to help
cast-off single mothers, or just 'one of two alternatives'. But that just
doesn't fit the prophetic types. The whole of Creation - the Feast of Firstfruits which we celebrate each year - it points to one grand
polygamous consummation in heaven when the Bridegroom celebrates His
marriage feast with His separated, purified and exalted Bride. I see, from beginning
to end of the scriptural record, the divine polygamous theme repeating
itself again and again. Polygamy is not a redundant appendage like the
appendix (which turns out to have a biological immune function after all) but the
WHOLE ORGANIC SYSTEM. It is not a quaint relic of other fallen civilisations
inagurated by them to indulge their carnal appetites and so tolerated by Yahweh
in a moment of weakness on His part until man became 'more spiritual' and
'civilised' (the historical evidence blasts that away - is man 'more
spiritual' or 'civilised' today?), but part and parcel of the whole created
order. Wherever I look, I see polygamy staring out at me - from the
structure of the atom to the cosmos itself.
The reason Yahweh did not 'overcome' the Catholic hostility to polygamy was
because He did not want that Church to ruin yet another godly principle and so
derail the "restoration of all things" (Acts 3:21, NKJV) in the final day of the harvest of
souls. He kept the best wine until last, allowing the dinner guests to have
their full of the cheap wine (the monogamy-only Christian culture) first. Moreover, this wine is not of human making, but divine - it is something that cannot be lived 'naturally' but
demands nothing short of the supernatural to make it function. And why?
Because polygamy is not 'natural' - it is not of this world, but of the
heavenlies. It can't be lived by man in his own strength, save as a pale
That is why all theocracies have failed, because theocracy is of heaven.
Polygamy belongs to that theocracy which requires, for its universal
planet-wide implementation, the presence of the King of kings right here on
earth. In these the last days He is, however, anointing His end-time
patriarchs with a portion of that theocratic spirit, because they are (most
nowt knowing this yet) the forerunners of the system to come - the one that
shall replace Babylon.
The Last Supper is the ultra-symbol of the polygamous union of Bridegroom to
Bride, the twelve representing (on one prophetic level) the twelve ruling
Princes of the millennial reign, itself foreshadowed by the meal given by
Joseph to his reunited brothers in Egypt. It is also a polygamous family,
joined together forever by the body and blood of the Crucified One, the best
wine being left to the last.
Brother, these truths are so deeply burned into my soul that to think about
them releases nothing less that the purest and most exhillarating joy, for
polygamy reveals the divine unifying principle in all things. It is the
template of the whole of creation, the vessel into which the wine of the
Spirit is poured, the skeleton upon which the the sinews of the Body of
Christ are built and mirrored in the various organ systems hereto described.
Polygamy is the Divine Principle of multiplication and may be comprehended
no matter from which doctrinal or practical point you enter it. That is why I say talk about
children to your wife for there you will find the same principle of
polygamous love at work - it is identical in its form, only in this
application it is non-sexual. It is the same in friendship, adding to our
circle of friends enhancing our fellowship rather than diminishing it, in
exactly the same way as adding saved souls to the Body of Christ makes the
whole grow stronger, filling it exponentially with Yahweh's love. Far from
diminishing the love between individuals, it is the very opposite.
A final illustration. There have been three women who have recently been
looking at the possibility of joining our family. There has, as a result, been much exitement in
our house, my wives being even MORE OVERJOYED THAN I. This morning I told
two of my wives that I had not the slightest doubt that one of these three
women would be joining our family. Both of them started hopping up
and down, squealing with delight, and hugging me and each other with happiness. How is this
possible? Because they have been born again to SEE this aspect of the glory
of the Kingdom of Yahweh. They KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that another
coming into my family will make the love in my heart multiply and that it
will spill over into THEM and into our CHILDREN. They know with spirit, mind
and heart that this is true because they have already tasted of this
wonderful fruit. And they cannot wait to bless their new sister-wife-to-be.
They are more impatient than I that she should come.
Now such a reaction is foolishness - even insanity - to the carnal world,
just as the message of the Cross is (1 Corinthians 1:18), and this is because the Cross and
polygamy are so intimately intertwined. Polygamy reveals the Cross like
nothing else - it opens a portal into the very heart of the Creator. It is
the heart of evangelism - the adding of the souls of the redeemed to that
glorious polygamous Body. Should we be jealous every time a new member comes
into our congregation because that is 'one more' for Christ to fill with His
Spirit and love? Yah forbid that we should ever be so carnal! And yet this
is what the women, blinded by the monogamy-only mindframe, are doing. Satan
has blinded their hearts. Therefore it behooves us as patriarchs to
lovingly, patitiently, unhurriedly, gently and firmly turn the beam of the
light of Yahweh's Word into those blind spots until their full vision is
No man who loves Christ need ever fear this principle if his heart is pure.
He need not worry about his precious first wife who yet remains blind. If he
remains a sea of love in which she may continue to bathe and have
confidence, she will come to know and yearn for this holy estate. And the
closer He draws to Christ, the closer she will draw to him. For indeed, if
he is to win her to this holy principle, he must himself be willing to be
purged and purified so that the Spirit may more fully flow through him. This
is, I suggest, his REAL reward - not just the expanded family and all the
joy that that brings, but the joy of having drawn closer to Christ in order
to be that spiritual magnet which makes the principle livable in the first
place. As such, then, polygamy can be one of the most motivating forces for
a man to improve his discipleship. If he has other motives -
self-exaltation, for one - he will collapse into the dust of his own felled
pride in the end, for Yahweh resists the proud until he is face down in the
grass like Nebuchadnezzar.
Your wife needs above everything else the security of knowing that you still love
her. You must, like Christ, bear your wounds in patience, allowing her to
see that the more she hurts you the more you will love her back. Only then will
love overwhelm her womanly heart and she will be convicted of her own sins,
just as Paul taught to Christians/Messianics with unbelieving spouses. For every blow,
return more and more love, as Christ does for us, and then you will both be
Yahweh will lead you where you are to walk with your wife in the Ruach (Spirit). Do not doubt, do not fear, just keep on loving and loving ...