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    FAQ 45

    Helping Monogamy-
    Only Wives See
    Polygamy's True Love

    Q. My wife and I talked quite a bit about the 'big issue' [polygamy] this weekend. She has seen me reading again about polygamy and that makes her nervous. She is frightened about it. She has the view of the world that a man can only love one woman ... that if he loves more than one his love must be diminished for each. I've tried to explain to her that a man's love is not a 'net sum loss' situation ... in that if he loves a second his love for the first must decrease by an equal and opposite amount. Intellectually she understands it, but in her heart she can't. She knows and accepts that polygamy was allowed by God, but she can't see why He would allow it. She sees it as the inferior to monogamy. As others have suggested, she says that God sometimes 'allows' or 'puts up with' things He doesn't necessarily 'want' for His people ... such as earthly kings for His people. She says that it is strange that God didn't keep the reality of polygamy alive for the last 2,000 years. She says that if He can keep the truth of salvation alive ... that if He can keep His Word preserved ... then He should have been able to 'overcome' the Roman influence of monogamy on the Christian church. It is a good question. How would you respond to that?

    The way into a woman's heart is often through a woman's world, namely, children, friendship, etc. As you both have had several children this should be easier than with a one-child family. I always try to teach as the Saviour did by letting the Spirit set the agenda, time, etc.. Popping spiritual truths at unexpected moments when the greatest spiritual impact is to be had works wonders. Yah'shua (Jesus) was brilliant in doing this.

    To illustrate: once (long ago), when one of my wives was having a problem yielding to my authority and overcoming her years of feministic indoctrination to submit, kicked up quite a fuss. She was clearly building up to a climax which I knew, through the whisperings of the Spirit, would lead to her threatening to leave me. But before she was able to fire her final defiant salvo of rebellion, the Spirit gave utterance, and I said to her calmly and almost in a whisper: "What you are about to do, do quickly." You should have seen how she had the carnal ground cut from under her feet - in one instant all her argumentation was felled, the Spirit bore witness to the fact that she was filled with the Judas spirit, then her TRUE Christ-like spirit rose up in rebellion to silence her carnal one, and there was peace. The resolution was supernatural. I never had a similar recurrence. Whenever the carnal nature arises cobra-like she sees it instantly, struggles, repents, and is becoming more Christ-like in her ways all the time.

    This little quotation may help your wife 'at the right moment' (I don't know the author):

      "So every one on all sides is waging war on Satan. Funny how Satan is only visible when one looks into the camp of one's enemies. But it's the Satan in one's own camp that is the real enemy, and that one is invisible. He hides in the blind spot. From there he shows himself to one's foes, and lets them know that he is there, but hides himself from the ones inside the camp in the place they dare not look. So all are blazing away at Satan, and never hitting him, only people, just as blind to Satan's presence in their own camps and only able to see the Satan in the camp of the other guys. I guess we really are that stupid, because that trick still works, even after six thousand years. Satan is a mirage projected by the mind of man into the camp of his enemy, and at the same time he is the man himself who is projecting that mirage."

    I cannot give you a recipe, as well you know, but I can hint at the mechanism Yahweh is likely to use. When you are 'off topic' you can, without being obvious (that will admittedly be hard as she is now so 'on guard') talk about children and how parents love them, explaining that when a second child is born the love of the parents for the first one does not diminish. It is the heart, as you say, that needs anointing now - it is important for the man to therefore 'think female' and learn to 'comprefeel' - talk out of the heart - ask the Spirit to anoint you viâ that route....

    Of course, she is right about kingship - only Yahweh never enshrined kingship in His Law - that's the difference. That is a fairly easy argument to demolish.

    I would reply in typical Jewish fashion with another parallel - one to make her work out the reason herself: How come Elohim (God) managed to preserve His Word for 1,000 years but was unable to ensure that the common people had access to it (since the Priests kept it chained up)? Always make your questioner think for him/herself because the chances are they won't be listening half as intently to your answer as their own!

    Polygamy was preserved, of course, in Elohim's (God's) Word, but it was 'chained up' for a millennium in fulfillment of Paul's Thessalonian prophecy about marriage and diet. You can point out that it belongs to that category of prophecy which Yahweh uses to illustrate His omniscience and Sovereignty - one could ask a thousand similar questions as to why, for example, the knowledge of a Suffering Servant Messiah was almost entirely absent from the Jewish consciousness at the time of Yah'shua's (Jesus') ministry.

    There is an important spiritual reason, I believe, which few ever touch upon, and it's this (not all polygamists agree with me): namely, that Yahweh wanted to reserve polygamy for a time when it would fulfill many prophetic rôles including giving the Church (Messianic Community) a picture of how it should be governed today. It is, after all, the model Yahweh has consistently given, but it required a time like our own - at a time of almost universal apostacy - to show believers the way back to the true order of the Kingdom of Heaven.

    We find ourselves in a situation where Pastors are no longer the spiritual fathers of their congregations but are under the control of various 'Boards'. The Pastor's salary is actually the noose around his neck for it is his livelihood and he knows that if he steps doctrinally 'out of line' with the Board that they will string him up. But that is not true of patriarchal government. A Pastor must be free to teach ALL the Word unfettered (though guided by apostolic leadership), something which is almost impossible these days within denominationalism.

    I believe that Yahweh is using polygamy to turn the Church (Messianic Community) upside down - to 'complete the Reformation' and to bring the New Covenant to its completion. Polygamy is not simply the icing on the top of the cake for good men but the very FOUNDATION of the Church of God (Assembly of Yahweh), since it is reflective of a divine principle that permeates all theological truth. It has therefore been reserved, for this time, to PURGE THE CHURCH (Messianic Community) and to SET IT IN ORDER. This is my belief.

    Yesterday I was chatting on line in a Christian discussion room. When they discovered that I was a polygamist they turned on me with a vengeance. I never told them what I was - they read it on one of my on-line profiles. Before I could get a word in, they were 'praying' for me, 'casting demons out' of me, saying I wasn't a minister, wasn't saved, didn't know Jesus, was dirty, perverse, a wolf in sheep's clothing, etc., etc.. You can imagine the scene, I am sure! When I insisted that the Word be the sole arbiter, I was shouted down. I pasted up scriptures and was booted off two times though Yahweh allowed me to finish my task.

    Now this is illustrative of the mad blindness that affects the Body - of the Word being chained up. This is the Pharisee Church that confronts us today and it brings out the very worst in believers. What is so special about polygamy is that it DESTROYS EVERY IDOL of the Bride of Christ. The Bride's sulphuric response (and believe me, the language from some of those 'Christians' was unbelievable) is exactly the same as the response of individual women who have been blinded by the Pharisaic hypocrisy and lies. There isn't admittedly much you can do when you are surrounded by the mob but you can speak to individuals quietly and patiently, giving the Spirit plenty of room to work in, and then Yahweh works. This confirms what Christ taught about the final purging out of the remnant - that churches (assemblies) and denominations will crumble and His Bride, who hears His voice, will come out from amongst the wolves. This is the final gathering.

    So polygamy has been reserved as the "winnowing fork" of a polluted Christendom. Can you imagine how it would have been degraded by the Catholic Church, even assuming it could ever have allowed such a system? Polygamy would have acquired the same sort of ugly reputation as indulgences and all the rest of the extra-Biblical Catholic paraphenalia, and it would have been denounced by the Reformers as the slough of the whore Church. So Yahweh wisely kept the principle hidden up until our time. This is what He has revealed to me in this regard.

    Surprisingly I have received much hostile criticism from fellow polygamists who see the lifestyle as no more than a 'welfare' form of marriage to help cast-off single mothers, or just 'one of two alternatives'. But that just doesn't fit the prophetic types. The whole of Creation - the Feast of Firstfruits which we celebrate each year - it points to one grand polygamous consummation in heaven when the Bridegroom celebrates His marriage feast with His separated, purified and exalted Bride. I see, from beginning to end of the scriptural record, the divine polygamous theme repeating itself again and again. Polygamy is not a redundant appendage like the appendix (which turns out to have a biological immune function after all) but the WHOLE ORGANIC SYSTEM. It is not a quaint relic of other fallen civilisations inagurated by them to indulge their carnal appetites and so tolerated by Yahweh in a moment of weakness on His part until man became 'more spiritual' and 'civilised' (the historical evidence blasts that away - is man 'more spiritual' or 'civilised' today?), but part and parcel of the whole created order. Wherever I look, I see polygamy staring out at me - from the structure of the atom to the cosmos itself.

    The reason Yahweh did not 'overcome' the Catholic hostility to polygamy was because He did not want that Church to ruin yet another godly principle and so derail the "restoration of all things" (Acts 3:21, NKJV) in the final day of the harvest of souls. He kept the best wine until last, allowing the dinner guests to have their full of the cheap wine (the monogamy-only Christian culture) first. Moreover, this wine is not of human making, but divine - it is something that cannot be lived 'naturally' but demands nothing short of the supernatural to make it function. And why? Because polygamy is not 'natural' - it is not of this world, but of the heavenlies. It can't be lived by man in his own strength, save as a pale imitation.

    That is why all theocracies have failed, because theocracy is of heaven. Polygamy belongs to that theocracy which requires, for its universal planet-wide implementation, the presence of the King of kings right here on earth. In these the last days He is, however, anointing His end-time patriarchs with a portion of that theocratic spirit, because they are (most nowt knowing this yet) the forerunners of the system to come - the one that shall replace Babylon.

    The Last Supper is the ultra-symbol of the polygamous union of Bridegroom to Bride, the twelve representing (on one prophetic level) the twelve ruling Princes of the millennial reign, itself foreshadowed by the meal given by Joseph to his reunited brothers in Egypt. It is also a polygamous family, joined together forever by the body and blood of the Crucified One, the best wine being left to the last.

    Brother, these truths are so deeply burned into my soul that to think about them releases nothing less that the purest and most exhillarating joy, for polygamy reveals the divine unifying principle in all things. It is the template of the whole of creation, the vessel into which the wine of the Spirit is poured, the skeleton upon which the the sinews of the Body of Christ are built and mirrored in the various organ systems hereto described. Polygamy is the Divine Principle of multiplication and may be comprehended no matter from which doctrinal or practical point you enter it. That is why I say talk about children to your wife for there you will find the same principle of polygamous love at work - it is identical in its form, only in this application it is non-sexual. It is the same in friendship, adding to our circle of friends enhancing our fellowship rather than diminishing it, in exactly the same way as adding saved souls to the Body of Christ makes the whole grow stronger, filling it exponentially with Yahweh's love. Far from diminishing the love between individuals, it is the very opposite.

    A final illustration. There have been three women who have recently been looking at the possibility of joining our family. There has, as a result, been much exitement in our house, my wives being even MORE OVERJOYED THAN I. This morning I told two of my wives that I had not the slightest doubt that one of these three women would be joining our family. Both of them started hopping up and down, squealing with delight, and hugging me and each other with happiness. How is this possible? Because they have been born again to SEE this aspect of the glory of the Kingdom of Yahweh. They KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that another coming into my family will make the love in my heart multiply and that it will spill over into THEM and into our CHILDREN. They know with spirit, mind and heart that this is true because they have already tasted of this wonderful fruit. And they cannot wait to bless their new sister-wife-to-be. They are more impatient than I that she should come.

    Now such a reaction is foolishness - even insanity - to the carnal world, just as the message of the Cross is (1 Corinthians 1:18), and this is because the Cross and polygamy are so intimately intertwined. Polygamy reveals the Cross like nothing else - it opens a portal into the very heart of the Creator. It is the heart of evangelism - the adding of the souls of the redeemed to that glorious polygamous Body. Should we be jealous every time a new member comes into our congregation because that is 'one more' for Christ to fill with His Spirit and love? Yah forbid that we should ever be so carnal! And yet this is what the women, blinded by the monogamy-only mindframe, are doing. Satan has blinded their hearts. Therefore it behooves us as patriarchs to lovingly, patitiently, unhurriedly, gently and firmly turn the beam of the light of Yahweh's Word into those blind spots until their full vision is retored.

    No man who loves Christ need ever fear this principle if his heart is pure. He need not worry about his precious first wife who yet remains blind. If he remains a sea of love in which she may continue to bathe and have confidence, she will come to know and yearn for this holy estate. And the closer He draws to Christ, the closer she will draw to him. For indeed, if he is to win her to this holy principle, he must himself be willing to be purged and purified so that the Spirit may more fully flow through him. This is, I suggest, his REAL reward - not just the expanded family and all the joy that that brings, but the joy of having drawn closer to Christ in order to be that spiritual magnet which makes the principle livable in the first place. As such, then, polygamy can be one of the most motivating forces for a man to improve his discipleship. If he has other motives - self-exaltation, for one - he will collapse into the dust of his own felled pride in the end, for Yahweh resists the proud until he is face down in the grass like Nebuchadnezzar.

    Your wife needs above everything else the security of knowing that you still love her. You must, like Christ, bear your wounds in patience, allowing her to see that the more she hurts you the more you will love her back. Only then will love overwhelm her womanly heart and she will be convicted of her own sins, just as Paul taught to Christians/Messianics with unbelieving spouses. For every blow, return more and more love, as Christ does for us, and then you will both be sanctified together.

    Yahweh will lead you where you are to walk with your wife in the Ruach (Spirit). Do not doubt, do not fear, just keep on loving and loving ...

    Author: SBSK

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    First created on 17 April 2001
    Updated on 18 April 2016

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