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Month 6:24, Week 4:2 (Shanee/Matzah), Year:Day 5940:172 AM
TESHUVAH 24/39, 2Exodus 1/40
Gregorian Calendar: Thursday 18 September 2014
Teshuvah 24
Finding Your Identity

    Continued from Part 23

    The Search

    The referendum on Scotland leaving or remaining in the United Kingdom, which takes place today, has got me to thinking a lot about identity, and particularly in the context of this teshuvah (repentance) season. Every soul is in search of identity and we seek for it in a conglomorate of different things, the emphasis differing on the basis of what we perceive our need to be at any one particular moment in time. We seek identity in our parents and family, in our clans, tribes and nations; we seek it in marriage, in friendships, in political and religious ideologies, in the 'family' that is our work-makes in our jobs and careers. And whilst all of these are indeed identity-shapers, none of them is able to substitute or fill in for that ultimate, core-identity which is in the Creator Himself who has made us in His image and therefore with our own deepest longings. Alone they assume proportions they were never designed for.


    So many of the identity choices we make turn out to be idolatrous not because it is wrong to have identity in marriage, family, and nation (for example) but because we seek to fill in the 'Elohim-shape' in us with these things instead. Ultimate teshuvah (repentance) is in the realm of identity - who or what defines me, to whom or what do I belong. And the thing is, unless you find the emet (truth) about such questions you will never find lasting shalom (peace). Everything boils down to ownership, whether to Elohim (God), the devil, a spouse, yourself, the state, a philosophy, a religion or something or someone else. So what does own or possess you?

    Assuming Responsibility

    Making teshuvah (repenting) begins in earnest when we assume responsibility for the choices we have made as to whom or to what ultimately we belong. Accepting ownership by Yahweh is a spiritually natural thing, a 'perfect fit'. Nobody is born an atheist, it's a choice based on a misunderstanding of experiences, often painful ones. However, what most people don't usually realise is that a choice for Self is a choice for the Enemy because anything that is a choice against the Creator is a choice for the anti-Creator by definition. Whatever our reason for rejecting Him, it is always lie-based, and that because it is based on untruth. And untruth (lies) gives the enemy grounds to twist and bend our thoughts and feelings, leading us even further away from the light of emet (truth).

    Libertarianism vs. Totalitarianism

    I can understand why a lot of people get angry at whom I would call 'totalitarian Christians'. I do too, and I have long disowned them. Honestly, they make me angry too because the first principle of the Besorah (Gospel) is free-will and we are not given the right to deny that to anyone. That is why the true Besorah (Gospel) is libertarian. I am obliged, because of Scripture, to defend any man or woman's right to say 'no' or disagree with me without threatening or harming them. We must defend free agency first and foremost because that is one of Yahweh's paramount gifts to mankind. Without it, we wouldn't be able to live together and there could be no ahavah (love), because ahavah (love) must be based on the freedom to choose, even if choosing wrong does have negative consequences.

    The Fuel of Persecution

    For years I could never for the life of me understsand why, as a libertarian Christian/Messianic, anyone should have a problem with me having an opinion different to theirs provided I agreed to 'live and let live' and not force anyone to believe contrary to their will. I realised, in time, that there were many reasons why people react angrily to libertarian Christianity/Messianism. For one, they themselves have a totalitarian mindset even if they think they believe in freedom of choice. That is why we have the militant Anti-theists like Richard Dawkins et al who want to ban all religion. And the thing is, the fact that I am libertarian doesn't mean that I am going to embrace the totalitarianism of others, and that irks them. They want me to either cease believing and teaching what I believe or to cease to exist. And that is the fuel of persecution, not just against the totalitarian religionists but against the libertarian ones too.

    Driven People

    Yes, we have free choice, and yes, we must defend that, but there are always consequences for our choices based on immutable cosmic laws which do not change just because we don't believe in or accept them. Whether you believe in the existence of demons or not is, at this level, immaterial, because at the very least you have to deal with the reality of the irrational anger within. Personally I loathe atheism and the ideologies of most other religions but provided their adherents are not threatening me or my family I can co-exist peacefully with them and treat them civilly and, I hope, kindly. But for some reason, many of these people cannot reciprocate. I believe their problem is demons precisely because they are driven, they ... well, if they're honest ... they don't really know why they are driven, and so try to seek answers in psychology.

    Religious Atheism and Biased Science

    Now I don't at all object to logical, scientific enquiry, for as a scientist myself, I love clear thinking. However, there are limits to science. For one thing you have to realise that not all statements made by scientists are necessarily statements of science but are their own atheistic religious beliefs. This religious atheism is far more close-minded than theism. Thus when evolutionist Sir Arthur Keith says that "evolution is unproven and unprovable. We believe it because the only alternative is special creation, and that is unthinkable", he is admitting that he and the atheistic scientific establishment are unwilling to think outside an artificial box. And that is not scientific because in science all hypotheses are acceptable provdied you can test them and repeat those tests. Today's science is the prisoner of totalitarian politics and religious atheism even if increasingly some secular scientists are challenging the status quo [1]

    Faith-Based Materialist Religion

    Now personally I love psychology and know quite a bit about it and I don't at all mind discussing human behaviour. I love understanding how peeople tick. Had I not become a Biochemist that is undoubtedly a field of study that would have interested me and which I have pursued in my spare time. So I will happily engage in discussion on human behaviour from that perspective, omitting the demonic element which pschiatrists reject, in order to show these people that psychology does not have the answers precisely because it is not what it claims to be: science. It's a faith-based materialist religion

    The Psychiatry Religion

    Psychiatry is itself a religion, but not one based on any real substance, especially when pstchiatrists try to label religious people like myself as 'mentally ill' [2]. The desire by such people to fit theists into a 'mental illness' box is in truth to get them institutionalised when they won't 'recant', as they did in the former Soviet Union and as they are doing today in our increasingly totalitarian Western nations [3] - to get them 'out of sight, out of mind', since psychiatric treatments don't, in any case, work [4]. For a fuller treatment of this, see my website, Swedish Psychiatry and the NCAY Psychiatry website. Humanist psychiatrists don't even know what they are trying to adjust people to since they have no belief in absolutes, other than to adjust supposedly 'mentally ill' people the collective mindset of a continually changing society as it exists at any one moment in time. Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti [5] rightly responded to psychiatry's goals by saying that "it is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society" (J. Krishnamurti).

    Atheism is Crumbling

    Anyone who steps outside society and looks at it objectively can see that it is sick. Only those who have an investment in it in terms of career and salary or state welfare provider cannot, obviously, afford to do so, unless they are courageous and are willing to suffer loss of job and reputation for that decision. How many are honestly willing to do that? All systems, whether atheistic or religious, are in the end propped up by force until they ignominiously crumble. Atheism, and its priesthood of psychiatrists, is itself crumbling [6]. And as theists go into denial, so the illusion, like our fake economic system, increases in size like a giant bubble until it reaches a critical mass and pops.

    faith Enough to be an Atheist?

    Atheistic science is a religion and requires so much more faith to believe in than to believe in the obvious - that there is a Creator who has made observable order and complexity in the Universe that could not have come about by chance [7]. The trouble is, the mind is a lot easier to persuade than the heart, and the reason so many reject Elohim (God) is not because the scientific evidence is not overwhelmingly compelling, but because their hearts are on a different track. And the heart, fickle at best and outrageously illogical at worst, will oftentimes compell the mind to pursue a road that it itself is reluctant at first to do, but to which it is finally forced to yield because a soul divided against itself must of necessity fall apart.

    The Problem of Pain-Guided Decision-Making

    Most people reject Elohim (God) because they have been hurt. Pain leads us to make all kinds of irrational decisions. Many atheists who were once believers abandon their Christianity because they were hurt by religious people or because of pressure brought to bear on them by totalitarian-minded irreligious people who would not respect their free agency. There can be many diverse reasons but one thing that often links those people who have once believed but have turned away is pain - and we all seek to flee pain, frequently making disasterous decisions with even more painful consequences when we do. Years ago my wife wrote this testimony:

      "Pain... pain often causes us to lash out at others, all of us at various times and in various circumstances. It seems that, so much of the time, the pain still remains from an injury that was inflicted upon us by circumstances from our past, circumstances that were not within our control. We were rejected, we grew up feeling inferior, we were abused, we were not loved like we needed to be, maybe we inflicted a serious wound on someone and feel guilty about it. Or possibly you felt pushed aside and ignored by the church, or maybe Yahweh Himself. I don't know what it may have been in your life, but I am willing to bet that you, too are wounded.

      It is imperative that we understand that we are all victims of injury and in deep and critical need of healing. As we have heard so many times, 'Hurt people hurt people.' So often we do not even realize that the injury we experienced is the cause of so many of our actions today. We are all in need of deep inner healing, healing of those wounds that have been inflicted upon us, healing of the pain of the wound, healing of the cause of so many of our inappropriate actions. We, the hurt people, hurt others. And others, who are hurt people themselves, hurt us.

      And like the people who have hurt us did not start out as bitter, aggressive, or neglectful of others, I don't believe the person casting accusations and lies at and about this ministry did either. At some point, they all reached a crossroads where they had the choice to make some healing decisions themselves. And they chose the wrong choice. One wrong choice always leads to other wrongs choices and slowly turns you into someone you never wanted to be.

      However, Yah'shua (Jesus) carefully distinguished the sin from the sinner. He truly understands us. He absolutely understands not only what we do, but why we do it — He understands there is a ROOT CAUSE of our inappropriate actions. And He knows that we are wounded, hurt people who wound and hurt others.

      And His love heals. One of the wonderful results of this healing event is that the pain of the wound is gone — even though the memory of it sometimes remains — and with the pain gone we no longer have to react out of pain but can react with love. Understanding that others are also wounded, just as we are, can help us be more ready to forgive them, just as we hope to be forgiven for those times we have injured.

      We always have to take ownership of our actions — a responsibility that today's world seems to try to ignore. Understanding that the root cause of our action may be the pain of an injury that was inflicted upon us, being a victim, may explain the reason, but does not give us license to hurt someone else. We still have to accept ownership and make amends, but understanding that things are done out of pain rather than malice can help us understand, and free us to love. Therefore we need to forgive and be forgiven.

      And there is nothing more that Yah'shua (Jesus) desires, then to heal and free us from our hurts, our wounds, our anger, and our selves. I pray that you respond to His offer of healing, forgiveness and peace" [8].

    A Murderous Spirit of Hate

    So many precipitous and unwise decisions and actions can lead us to fall away from Elohim (God) and into an antagonistic, atheistic mindset that often becomes destructive and murderous in intent. What we have to realise that this mindset isn't actually ourselves but that of another being who hates Elohim (God), as well as ourselves, and makes us believe - because we have accepted and embraced his lies, often out of desperation to be free of mental and emotional pain - that these impulses of hatred are actually us. And since we are made in the image of Elohim (God) we are, without realising it, accusing Elohim (god) of this nature, which causes us to hate Him even more (though we never pause to consider the irrationality of this if we posit that he doesn't exist).


    Today I have broadened teshuvah (repentance) into the whole sphere of existence. Our identity is vitally important if we are to live happy and productive lives for worthwhile goals. The reality is that Elohim (God) exists, He created us, He has a purpose for us, and that without returning to Him we are not only throwing our life away but can never really find a sound foundation. Self, being mortal, even dead, is a very unsafe foundation to build on. Who are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here? What must you do yo return to Elohim (God) and find inner peace, purpose and contentment? If you're not sure, then please read through my series of short articles, Are You Saved?. Many Christians and Messianics - let alone atheists and the adherents of other religions - aren't. Then you can start a life of teshuvah (repentance) for real.

    Continued in Part 25


    [1] For example, Rupert Sheldrake, The Science Delusion (Coronet, London: 2012) [2] Thomas S. Szasz, M.D, The Myth of Mental Illness: Foundations of a Theory of Personal Conduct (Harper Perennial, NY: 2003)
    [3] See, for example, Jack Frost, The Gulag of the Family Courts: Guilty Even When Innocent (Jack Frost, Baintree, Essex, UK: 2007
    & Dominic Raab, The Assault on Liberty: What Went Wrong With Rights (Fourth Estate, London: 2009)
    [4] Richard P. Bentall, Doctoring the Mind: Why Psychiatric Treatments Fail (Penguin, London: 2009) & Stuart A. Kirk, Tomi Gomory & David Cohen, Mad Science: Psychiatric Coercion, Diagnosis and Drugs (Transaction Publishers, New Brunswick, Canada: 2013)
    [5] Though an occultist/esotericist, Krishnamurti's Commentaries on Living are well worth the read
    [6] Alister McGrath, The Twilight of Atheism: The Rise and Fall of Disbelief in the Modern World (Rider, London: 2004)
    [7] Norman L. Geisler & Frank Turek, I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist (Crossway, Wheaton, Illinois, USA: 2004). There are many excellent books demonstrating the Christianity is a logical, scientific faith like William Lane Craig, Reasonable Faith: Christian Truth and Apologetics (Crossway, Wheaton, Illinois, USA: 2008). If you are struggling with the question of evolution, then there are many excellent websites and books that deal with this controversy which you can find. But if you would like to sit down with one well written scientific book on the subject then I highly recommend Walt Brown, PhD, In the Beginning: Compelling Evidence for Creation and the Flood (Center for Scientiofic Creationism, Phoenix, AZ: 2008)
    [8] Why People...Do What They Do

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