COMPREHENSIVE INDEX #1. Using This Page as an Apologetics Resource #2. Chatroom Rules #3. The Purpose of Our Witness #4. A Lack of Education vs. Willful Ignorance #4.1. Prove All Things #4.2. Good Exegesis #4.3. Slander #5. One Bible, Not Two: The Law Stands #5.1. Attacking the Old Testament #5.2. The Law is Eternal #5.3. Setting Paul Against Christ #6. What Is Biblical Marriage? (A Summary) #6.1. Defining Marriage #6.2. The Myth of Monogamy and Polygamy #6.3. Fornication #6.4. Adultery #6.5. Double-Mindedness #6.6. False Accusation

#1. Using This Page as an Apologetics Resource

This webpage has been designed to provide simple summaries of important key discussion points with links to deeper and more extensive discussions, and especially for those who like to witness in chat rooms and on the internet in general. Each section and point is numbered and has a tag so that you can refer someone to it very quickly.

Let us imagine you are having a discussion with someone in a chat room. You wish to point them to the rules or conduct of our chat room. All you have to do is have the URL to this page available which is www.nccg.org/hem/krolewiec_wives.html. To save you having to type it out everytime, you can copy it into your clipboard and just paste it into the room whenever you want to. Then you can add codes pointing to the actual reference you want your discussant to read.

Example 1: The person you are having a discussion with is using foul language and you wish to point them to Section #2 which shows the rules of chat. To do that, you simple paste in www.nccg.org/hem/krolewiec_wives.html which you have ready in your clipboard and then type in #2 at the end of the URL (not putting in any spaces) so you have: www.nccg.org/hem/krolewiec_wives.html#2. All the person you are having a discussion with needs then to do is to click on the link in the program you are using (e.g. Yahoo Messenger) and he will be taken straight to Section #2.

Example 2: This page has been designed so you can not only automatically take someone to a section each individual point as well. So let us say you want to point him to Section #2 about Chat Rules and specifically to the point about abusive language, which is #2.2. All you have to do is exactly the same as above except to add #2.2, viz: www.nccg.org/hem/krolewiec_wives.html#2.2

In chat room apologetics speed is often of the essence, especially with dishonest people who employ brow-beating tactics to intimidate those of us who are not as fast or skilled as they may be. By having resources at your finger-tips you can silence the liars and witness effectively to those who are honest and open to truth.

Just as when you visit a foreign counry you are expected to observe certain cultural standards and rules of behaviour, so visitors to a Chat Room are requested to follow our standards of conversation. Please try to remember that so long as you are in our room you are our guest as if you were in the livingroom of our home where the family normally gathers, children as well as adults. Accordingly:

#2.1. First and foremost, please always remember that this is a Christian/Messianic fellowship. We request that all questions, comments and discussions reflect respect, gentility and modest good taste. Conversation should always reflect good taste.

#2.2. Please, no profanity. It is displeasing to Yahweh and not necessary to make feelings and thoughts known.

#2.3. If you wish to speak privately with a visitor, please request a private message in the open board first as a courtesy to the person you wish to talk with.

#2.4. If you have questions regarding issues too private to discuss in open chat, please request an audience from one of the members of the same sex for these issues. Most Christians/Messianics do not find it comfortable to discuss intimate matters with those of the opposite sex to whom they are not married.

#2.5. While everyone is entitled to their own view and to state them, please remember that it is not appropriate to attack or insult anyone who does not agree with you and will likely only get you ignored anyway. Please show everyone respect.

#2.6. Please do not deliberately interrupt the flow of a discussion. We understand that this can happen quite accidentally in a chat room with people coming and going but please do not deliberately change the flow of discussion when others are engaged in a particular topic.

#2.7. Most of all, be edified. It is our hope that your fellowship here is as rewarding to you as we are sure it will be for everyone here.

Visitors who do not observe these guidelines will be asked to leave the chat room and be put on 'Ignore'. We repeat, if this happens, it will not be not because we do not want to answer honest questions but because of a lack of good manners and respect on their part.

Our internet witness has a three-fold purpose:

#3.1. To bear witness that Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) is the Son of Elohim (God) and the only way back to Yahweh-Elohim, our Heavenly Father, and that His Word, the Bible, is the Truth;
#3.2. To explain to those interested, and to defend against those hostile to, the biblical basis of marriage, which is one man married to one or more women; and
#3.3. To provide fellowship for those living, or sympathetic to, this way of life.

#4.1 PROVE ALL THINGS. There is both rampant as well as abysmal ignorance of what the Bible teaches about many subjects, and the ignorance does not just have to be in those unschooled in the Bible: even professed Bible scholars and scriptorians have major blind spots. Just because someone has been to a Bible College or can read Greek fluently doesn't necessarily mean they are by default representing the truth - there are some - sadly, even those who claim to be 'Christian' or 'Messianic' - who deliberately misrepresent the truth in order to defend a preconceived doctrine. For them the Bible is a means rather than an end. Do not be intimidated by those who claim to be 'scholars' or to have 'authority' over you as 'pastors', 'teachers', 'evangelists', 'watchmen' or 'prophets' - it is through such people that error is often perpetuated generation after generation. You have the authority of Almighty Elohim (God) as a searcher after truth to be taught by Him personally and to expect other believers to reason from the scriptures:

"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very Elohim (God) of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray Elohim (God) your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Master Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ)" (1 Thess.5:21-23, KJV).

"Come now, and let us reason together," Says Yahweh ... " (Isa.1:18, NKJV).

#4.2 GOOD EXEGESIS. Allow no-one to accuse you of being a 'heretic' or to use any other term of abuse but insist not only that each scripture be examined in detail but that all the scriptures pertaining to that subject are considered together. You cannot pick and choose scriptures to defend pet doctrines and beliefs but must examine what ALL of them say on any given subject. Do not therefore be intimidated by those who pick one passage out and who then try to define it on their own terms in isolation. This is called bad exegesis (scriptural interpretation). If they adopt this tactic and do not yield, rest in the same assurance as the Apostle Paul that you are justified before Elohim (God) in your witness: "Nor can they prove the things of which they now accuse me" (Acts 24:13-14, NKJV).

#4.3 SLANDER. Those who are defending their pet traditions as against the biblical truth nearly always resort to insult, accusation, and personality assassination. It is a key means of identifying them. Make sure you point that out to those in the chat room so that they can identify what is a mark of cultism and of the devil:

"Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee" (Jude 9, KJV)

One form of intimidation is to use Bible versions like the KJV which, though very excellent, is difficult to understand for most English-speakers. Be sure you understand the plain meaning of words. The word "railing", for example, means "slanderous" (NIV). Don't let anyone tell you that you are a 'pervert' or a 'heretic' just because they have brow-beaten you with one or two passages of the Bible ripped out of context. Hold your ground and say as the archangel did, "Yahweh rebuke you!", quoting chapter and verse, and leave the matter in Yahweh's hands. For "the word of Elohim (God) is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account" (Heb.4:12-13, NKJV).

A slanderer is a person who uses defamatory words against another. To defame someone is to attack their good name or reputation. Please be aware that someone who does this against a Christian/Messianic brother is, according to Christ, risking his eternal salvation: "whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matt.5:22, NKJV). Don't let the defamers quote some corrupt Greek manuscripts (MSS) which add the phrase "without a good cause" after "You fool!" which is entirely absent from the oldest DuTillet, Münster and Shem Tov Hebrew MSS. The way a Christian/Messianic is supposed to conduct him- or herself is crystal clear in the Bible:

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of Yahweh are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of Yahweh is against those who do evil'" (1 Peter 3:8-12, NIV).

Yah'shua (Jesus) always dealt kindly and compassionately even with the worst sinners, such as in the incident of the woman caught in adultery. He did not rail and accuse her but spoke kindly, gently and firmly to her, telling her not to sin again. The only people that Yah'shua (Jesus) reserved his harshest judgment and anger against were religious hypocrites who taught one thing and did another. For it doesn't matter how doctrinally right you may be about something but if your words are not matched by your deeds, you are in danger of a fearsome judgment.

#5.1 ATTACKING THE OLD TESTAMENT. A favourite tactic of those who can find no support for their beliefs in the Bible is to try and set the Bible against itself by dividing it up into two or more parts, and using one part to attack the other. A common example of this is using the New Testament to attack the Old Testament (Tanakh) as though they were two separate books and hostile to one another. This they often do because a pet doctrine is contradicted in the Old Testament. Even though nothing about their pet doctrine may be said in the New Testament, they nevertheless try to 'argue from silence'.

What most people don't realise is that there is no such thing as an 'Old Testament' (OT) or a 'New Testament' (NT). They are all one book called the 'Bible'. The designations 'OT' and 'NT' don't appear in the Bible at all except in the King James Version (KJV) where it is not a book that is being spoken of but a Covenant (Mt.26:28; Mk.14:24; Lk.22:20; 1 Cor.11:25; 2 Cor.3:6; Heb.9:5).

#5.2 THE LAW IS ETERNAL. Another tactic is to say that Christ has totally removed the OT and the Law (Torah). This is totally contradicted by what Christ Himself said:

"'Do not think that I came to destroy the Torah (Law) or the Nevi'im (Prophets). I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the Torah (Law) till all is fulfilled. Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven'" (Matt.5:17-20, NKJV).

The trouble is, this contradicts many 'Christian' traditions. But there is no misinterpreting this. Christ said that the Torah (Law, Teaching, Doctrine), as revealed in the Old Testament - every single letter of it - was still in force, and would remain so, until both heaven and earth have disappeared. This is important to remember when addressing what the Old Testament teaches about marriage. If your opponent then claims that the earth on which he is standing has disappeared (few have gone that far), remind him to take a sober reality check. Most opponents simply try to ignore this passage, forgetting that Yah'shua (Jesus) said: "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away" (Luke 21:33, NKJV). His words remain to condemn them.

The next tactic of those in denial is to move the boundary of the OT and the NT to the Day of Pentecost or Shavu'ot where they claim the OT really ended. It didn't. All that happened was that more 'fulfilling' or 'completing' took place - the Church or Messianic Assembly was being perfected one stage further down the line.

#5.3 SETTING PAUL AGAINST CHRIST. Finally, those who "wrest" ("twist") the scriptures to suit their own ends (2 Pet.3:16) try to set Paul against Christ by claiming that the apostle was acting out of the 'New' Covenant whereas Christ belonged to the 'Old'. For one thing, if a Paul actually did contradict the Son of Elohim (God) by speaking against Him, who would you follow - the Christ or a man? The moment you take that position you are undermining the Bible witness altogether. If an apostle seems to 'contradict' the words of Christ ... words which will never pass away ... then the only honest thing to do, if you really claim to believe the Bible to be the Word of Elohim (God), is to admit the possibility that you have misunderstood Paul whom, as Peter testified, often spoke things "hard to understand", adding almost just for us the warning, "which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures" (2 Peter 3:16, NKJV).

All of this should come as a dire warning to all of us not to set one set of scriptures against another but to accept all. Reading the defences of some of those teaching their own traditions one would think that Elohim (God) was continually changing His mind. But He isn't. Yahweh's Word does not change - it is consistent and true in all generations and in all dispensations. The only things that have changed haven't really 'changed' at all, namely the Ceremonial Law (of animal sacrifices and other ordinances) and the Levitical Priesthood which administered it which Christ fulfilled in Himself in His atoning work on the Cross. Everything else remains.

Most people have no idea what Biblical Marriage is, and that includes Christians and Messianics. For them marriage is what they see taking place in their churches and messianic assemblies, and what their ministers teach them. And because this has been happening for nearly 1,300 years, nobody ever really seriously questions whether what they are doing is what the Bible actually teaches.

#6.1 DEFINING MARRIAGE. If you take all the Scriptures on marriage together in the Bible, you not only discover that they harmonise with each other (which is what you would expect if Yahweh authored the Book) but that it can be summarised in this fashion:

Marriage is the exclusive Elohim/God-ordained, mandated and blessed life-long covenant between one man and one or more women allowing them to have sexual relations with one another for the purpose of companionship and the raising of a family. The number of wives a man is allowed to have is limited only by his ability to take care of and provide for them spiritually, emotionally, physically and temporally. He is commanded not to have too many, though no number is given.

As we shall see, Elohim (God) has laid down strict rules concerning marriage. These were revealed in the 'Old Testament' (Tanakh) and continued unmodified in the 'New'. These are the same rules that Yah'shua (Jesus) said would never pass away until heaven and earth disappeared. And since we are told elsewhere in Scripture that heaven and earth are eternal (even though they will later be glorified), what this means is that these laws are eternal. No 'temporary' laws of marriage were ever given. Once given and completed by Christ, they would never change again.

#6.2 THE MYTH OF MONOGAMY AND POLYGAMY. The Bible nowhere mentions the words 'monogamy' (one man married to only one woman) or 'polygamy' (one man married to two or more women) as though these were 'two' different 'types' of marriage. These are modern words derived from Greek. In the Bible there is only one type of marriage and it isn't called anything other than 'marriage': and it consists of one man married to one or more women. A Biblical marriage therefore consists of a man who may be simultaneously married to as many women as Elohim (God) calls him to marry. And a woman is perfectly entitled to share a husband with other women. These things are regarded as normal, wholesome, holy, and godly in the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible does Elohim (God) say a man may not have more than one wife or that a woman cannot share her husband with others, and nowhere does the Bible mandate a 'punishment' for the 'crime' of polygamy or having more than one wife at a time. Nowhere.

The Bible does, however, talk about fornication and adultery which (and especially the latter) are regarded as serious sins. So serious are they that Elohim (God) goes to great length to spell out what is, and what is not, fornication and adultery. Obviously we need to know. Later we shall look at the passages of scripture describing these in detail but for now we shall content ourselves with summarising the main points. These you will be able to easily verify.

#6.3 FORNICATION is the sin of two unmarried persons having unlawful sex with each other, or a married man having unlawful sex with an unmarried woman. The Law of Yahweh clearly states that if an unmarried man and an unmarried woman have sex together they are required to marry. It also says that if a married man has sex with an unmarried women that he is required to marry her also.

#6.4 ADULTERY is the sin of a married or single man having sex with another man's wife, or of a married woman having sex with a married or single man who is not her husband.

The sins of Fornication and Adultery are defined by the Law of Yahweh in the Bible and not by the laws of man. The fact that the law of the land may forbid a man from taking more than one wife does not make it fornication or adultery. Where the two laws conflict, a Christian/Messianic is obliged to obey Yahweh first: "We ought to obey Elohim (God) rather than men" (Acts 5:29-30, NKJV). Otherwise we are to obey the laws of the land where they do not contradict the laws of Yahweh (Rom.13:1; Tit.3:1).

#6.5 DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS. A sin which many Christians/Messianics forget is called double-mindedness. What has this to do with marriage? There are many (the majority) who defend the monogamy-only laws of governments and deny the biblical teachings on the subject. But at the same time they ignore the laws of certain countries which forbid the teaching of Christianity (as is true in many Muslim countries) and preach the Gospel anyway. "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways" (James 1:8, KJV). "Draw nigh to Elohim (God), and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded" (James 4:8, KJV).

It is very clear that Elohim (God) does not respect double-minded people, and especially not those who claim to believe in and obey Him. Yah'shua (Jesus) warned us strictly: "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven" (Matt.5:19, NAS). And please remember the two verses that preceed this one.

Is it your wish to be at the bottom of the ladder in heaven? Do you wish to be counted least in the Kingdom of Heaven because you would not accept one of the commandments? In this passage Yah'shua (Jesus) was talking to the rich young man about the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments are a summarisation of the whole Torah (Law of God) which include the laws on marriage which we shall examine presently. One of the Ten Commandments is not to commit adultery. Adultery we have defined above and does not include polygamy (a man having more than one wife).

#6.6 FALSE ACCUSATION. What is the fate of someone who falely accuses someone of a sin, and especially a serious sin such as adultery? It is written: "Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely" (Luke 3:14, NKJV). To accuse a man or woman of sinning when they live polygamously is to intimidate and falsely accuse because Elohim (God) nowhere in the Bible says that having more than one wife is a sin or adultery - nowhere. What will happen to those who accuse polygamists of being adulterers or sinners? "Do not think that I shall accuse you to the Father; there is one who accuses you -- Moses" (John 5:45-46, NKJV). If you believe the Bible is the Word of Elohim (God), Moses will accuse you before Yahweh at the Great Judgment. If you reject Moses, then Christ will accuse you, because He stated that not one single jot or tittle would pass away from the Law given by His Father through Moses (Matt.5:18). There is a fearful judgment coming to all those who refuse to acknowledge all of Elohim's (God's) Word.

These sound harsh words, don't they? Fortunately they aren't ours. They are Elohim's (God's). Because marriage is sacred and one of the sacraments of the New Covenant fellowship, we had better be sure we know what Yahweh teaches about it. It is not a good thing to be caught in transgression unless it leads to repentance. Accordingly we shall now look at all the key scriptures on marriage in some depth, as contained in the book below specifically written for the purpose, so as to be in no doubt as to what Yahweh means:



Author: SBSK


First created on 18 September 2001 Updated on 10 August 2016
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