Male and Female
You learn more about people in plural marriage that you do in any other social setting and are constantly being surprised. Adding new wives to a family literally changes everything, though it is true that some make a bigger difference than others. I don't mean that in a positive or a negative way. What I mean is that there is such a diversity of human character and personality, such a broad spectrum, if you like, and it just happens that some women are more unlike you than others. And Hanna was completely unlike all of us. Getting to know her proved to be much more complex than we thought and I, for one, wondered how Stan would cope with her. It is the extraordinary ability of men who are called by God into polygamy to relate to women of almost every type that has perhaps been one of my strongest testimonies of the principle.
All my former notions, influenced by secular astrology and popular psychology about 'compatibility' went completely out of the window in Stan's household. In fact, the more different a woman was from him, the more enthusiastic he seemed to be. It was our differences that he seemed to prize the most. Even he himself admitted that character traits that had once repelled him now had the opposite effect on him for he was not trying to find a 'perfect match' for himself as he once had, for that, he said, was an egocentric-view of Christian patriarchy. Rather, he saw one of the purposes of polygamous marriage to expand not only his collective spiritual horizons to the fullest possible extent but the collective horizon of the family as well.
He told me that when he had been a young man he had essentially looked for women who were like himself - not carbon-copies, exactly, but something close. He believed that Christ represented the perfect personality, and because He was perfect, everybody could relate to it, and He to them. Since we had in turn been called to perfection by the Saviour, he now belived that we were called to break past the individual personality boundary and into a kind of cosmic or universal one where all personalities could mix freely and happily. This was, he also insisted, only possible through Christ, because it is our carnal natures that not only attract one another but repell also.
Marriage by providence was, I discovered, absolutely essential in the Królewiec family because of the way in which we all changed. Anna had started as a very shy and retiring sort of personality, easily hurt, and often locked away in herself. But in the short space of a couple of years she seemed to move to the very opposite spectrum and became a bubbly, self-confident person. He had accepted her as she was and delighted in the way the Lord had changed her. I noticed how my own habits and mannerisms changed, for we all started adopting the collective family 'way of being' by being around each other so much.
If personalities were repulsed by one another, Stan insisted, it was because the carnal nature was pushing out the spiritual. Only by crucifying the flesh and its distorted view of things could we ever be one. I noticed how in the beginning I would gravitate to certain sister-wives with whom I felt 'comfortable' until, I noticed, I would start getting into a rut with them and we would start falling into the clique mentality. Stan broke these up as quickly as they formed, often with considerable protest from us. When he first taught the principle of twin sister-wives, we were thrilled because we felt that we were being assigned the nearest non-sexual equivalent to a marriage partner, making us women 'polygamists' in a way similar to Stan. It was pure joy to experience that unity with sister-wives in a way similar to the unity Stan felt with each of us. Indeed, I discovered that this was in many ways the female equivalent of polygyny. It's hard to explain, really, but it's most certainly there, but you only see it as you grow closer to Christ. And the closer you draw to the Lord, the more you see how unnatural polyandry is - of one woman having many men - because men and women are constructed differently. The so-called equality of the sexes that the secular world has forced on women has created an unnatural sense of being which leads to tensions, anxieties and inner conflicts the moment you start trying to draw closer to Christ.
Stan once told us in one of his many tape-recorded lessons to the family:
"Satan and his angels, though originally of two different sexes, have progessively lost this distinction over the ages. There are no male and female demons in the truest sense of the word because they have lost what vestiges of true sexuality they once had. This is most especially true of female spirits. Because in the angel rebellion they lost their intended spouses the female demons began to lose their femininity. That's one reason the male angels came down to earth and mated with earth-women, because their own female counterparts had effectively become neutral. This led in turn to all kinds of unnatural desires in them once they had renounced their vows of celibacy. Demons love perverse sex because they no longer know what holy sex is anymore. Their activities deliberately try to confuse gender-rôles. Since the 1960's there has been a sexual revolution with its drive towards unisexuality, the women becoming more masculine and the men more feminine. It has completely disrupted the natural God-ordained intercourse between the genders. Men don't know who they are any more and women think they are men. Now, that may seem a rather extreem view to some of you but I believe, at its root, that is what it eventually means. When you turn away from the true spirit of polygamy you launch the human race on a course that leads to the reversal of sex-rôles, which leads to a massive increase in homosexuality and lesbianism, which in turn leads to an opposite reaction because you can't build a purely homosexual-lesbian society. It's self-destructive. The reaction to this is a hyper-male macchismo and an increasingly neutered femininity. It's exactly the same course as the fallen angels - that's where mankind is headed. And you'll see more and more gender confusion with an increase in transsexual operations and the like.
"Because God knew Satan would lead the rebellious human race in this direction He ensured that there was a roughly even balance of men to women because He knew that few would be attracted to the true principle of polygamy. Even today we are seeing the 'natural', spiritual ratio of men to women in the churches - believing women and hugely outnumbering believing men by as many as seven to one, just as Isaiah prophesied. When the wheat is separated from the tares, you're going to see a huge surplass of Christian women.
"But that's only the physical reality. Spiritually, both men and women are naturally polygamous, but in different ways. Men are naturally attracted to several women whereas women are naturally attracted to several women and one man. It's the way we are built. And we are taught this principle in no more poignant a way than in the symbolic relationship between the Church and Christ.
"Once you start obeying the Bible 100%, polygamy comes naturally for the women because they enter a spiritual dimension that allows them to fulfil their true potential and not the distorted counterfeit one of the feminists. Feminism and male machismo are the natural outcomes of the flesh and are completely unspiritual. The heavenly society consists, I firmly believe, of a giant community of polygamist families. The kind of relationship that the women have with each other in a polygamist family is exactly the same kind of relationship that the men have have together. They have deep, deep bonds of love, just as David had with Jonathan. This spiritual relationship is very important because it balances out the unique sexual polygamous relationship of the sexes. I discovered through living polygamy a key principle that distinguished men from women, a principle hidden up in the Bible though one which is extraordinarily simple. And it's locked away in the Sabbath principle.
"Men are by nature much more 'active' then women. Woman's created rôle is clearly defined in the Bible as an essentially domestic one. Feminists have, of course, revolted against this and discovered that they are largely able to do what men can do, which is perfectly true - men and women are more than capable to performing each other's God-ordained rôles, and can do them rather well. But when all's said and done, the switching of rôles isn't spiritually natural, and erodes one's identity and sexuality. The result is that the two genders cease to be very attractive to one another, the relationships become more superficial, more flesh-based, and of much shorter duration. The long-term result is the disintegration of society as a whole, as we are experiencing now.
"Isaiah teaches us that the natural female to male ratio is seven to one. That does not mean that seven women are 'equivalent' to one man - it means that the 'natural marriage unit' consists of seven women to one man, and nothing more, just as the natural 'Church' consists of billions of the redeemed to one Christ. There is, to be sure, a great mystery in this but it is not impossible to start unravelling it.
"Let me give you some clues. One day out of seven is designated a rest day - a Sabbath day. One thousand years out of six thousand years is likewise designated a 'rest millennium'. Yet we all know that on the Sabbath day we do some kinds of work - we do not sit down and do absolutely nothing, it's just that it's a different kind of work. Likewise, we shall not all sit under trees for a thousand years when Christ returns but we shall be working, only our work will be different from the work we did in the Church dispensation.
"There are principles within principles which reflect back on one another. Polygamy is a natural expression of that divine principle and is so important that the Lord uses it to designate the relationship He has on an allegorical level with His people. Men and women alike become His symbolic 'wife' showing that men take on a female rôle by being in submission to their master just as wives are to be in submission to their husbands. That submission is not, moreoever, a tyrrany but quite natural, spontaneous and lovely. The principle of male submission is repeated over and over again - the earthly church is in submission to twelve apostles and each local congregation is in submission to a Pastorate. This is natural, right, wholesome, and good. There are therefore different levels of male-female relationship, some sexual, some spiritual.
"There is nothing more joyful than to be submitted to a righteous head. I am in subjection to the apostolic leaders of our Order and I count it a pleasure because I know these are godly men who do not abuse their leadership position. And even the presiding Apostle of our Order, Lev-Tsiyon, has an earthly head, so that all may be submitted and be blessed.
"Please understand, therefore, that the doctrine of carnal 'equality' is in actual fact nothing more than spiritual oppression. It has arisen partly because of Satan's machinations to destroy sexuality, which he does not possess anymore and about which he is in a rage, and partly because of the bad example of the oppression of unspiritual and oppressive patriarchy. Satan will always use a good cause and recruit it to His own purposes by showing an ungodly solution. The motivation behind much feminism is good but much is equally evil, and the solution is in the end even more destructive to the female gender than to the male."
For these reasons when anyone comes to Kadesh-Naphtali they are completely re-educated in gender rôles. Once you're on the right track, then you can naturally flower. At first I believed that monogamy was the only way a woman could come to full spiritual maturity but I see now that this is not the case. There are many polygamists who believe that polygamy exists merely to allow women denied a good husband - because there are so few good ones - to find one. They believe that polygamy exists as a temporary remedy for social evil or because God just 'happens' to call some into it but not others. But now I believe that polygamy is holy marriage - complete marriage for men and women alike. It is the form of marriage which God blesses those who want to follow Him completely. That is why we call it 'Firstborn Marriage' because it is the first and most important form of marriage - the marriage of completion and perfection.
Before Stan will marry any woman he ensures that a prospective wife understands that this why she is entering the principle. It is not enough to simply believe that the principle is godly and an 'alternative' for those who are tough enough to live it, or because it's the next best thing because of a shortage of good, spiritual men. They have to truly believe that they are living the holiest and the most blessed marriage lifestyle there is, and that to attain this state of happiness one must be willing to crucify the carnal nature completely.
"Just look at a typical family," he had continued, "and you'll hopefully see what I'm driving at. The parents occupy the male, presidential rôle in a family, and the children the female, submissive one. Now which kind of family life do you think in general is the richest: a one child family or one with several children, assuming that the parents have the time and resources to take care of them properly?"
We had all agreed that having many children was the most desirable.
"Look at what has happened in communist China with the one-only child per family policy. That nation has an entire generation of precocious brats. Large families breed the desirable virtues of a sense of responsibility, of sharing, and the like. Of course, no two families are alike, and some large families are a disaster, but we're talking about families centred in Christ. Into what nation are we, as believers adopted? Israel. What was peculiar about the Israel-concept? It was a large polygamous family - four wives and thirteen children. As New Covenant Israelites we are, by definition, polygamists. As adopted sons and daughters of father Abraham we are, by adoption, polygamists. The Bible spells polygamy from cover to cover, both in heaven and on earth."
Sarah-Jane had asked him why Israel - Jacob - had only four wives when the millennial ideal was seven.
"A good question", he had answered, "and the answer will, I think, interest you. What is the number four symbolic of? It is an earthly number - the four winds, the four points of the compass, the four elements. Jacob's family was an earthly family. Four may therefore be said to be the minimum number of wives in a 'full' family - 'full' on the physial level. It is the number of the Deacons and Deaconesses, the number of the Aaronic Priesthood that was to come, and of the Mosaic Covenant. By contrast, the millennial number is seven, and you all know what seven represents. Seven wives will be the average size of polygamist families amongst believers in the millennial world. Twelve is the number of the Apostolate and of the post-millennial world. Those who are rulers in the millennial world and beyond will have twelve wives on average, or more, just as the New Covenant Moses, our Lord Yah'shua, will preside over twelve New Covenant Israelite tribes, each tribe being ruled by one of the original twelve New Testament apostles. These twelve apostles are Christian apostolic 'wives' on this level."
Stan would discourse to us for hours on similar themes and hold us spell-bound. What was more remarkable was that none of this was theory but actually in action all around us all the time. It was exciting to see that what we were doing - our polygamy - was a kind of drama of the whole plan of salvation and the heavenly mode of life. It all made such perfect sense.
On one occasion Isabel had asked Stan one of her penetrating questions: "Stan, if we are to pray to our heavenly Father in the plural, as in 'Our Father...' and 'Give us this day our daily bread', should we refer to you in a similar way?"
Stan had been very pleased by her perception: "Your have on hit a gem there, my dear," he had said to her. "The Gospel is so much about community - a plural, polygamous community in which we are all allegorically married to Christ. He is not so much 'my' personal Saviour but 'our' collective Saviour. And it is interesting that He instructed us to pray in the plural, as a community or family of allegorical wives. Yes, you are right - absolutely right. I do not, in any case, belong exclusively to any of you, any more than Christ belongs exclusively to me. So instead of calling me 'my husband', 'my dear', 'my darling', 'my love', or 'my lord', you should all, once you have fully understood the spirit of polygamy, be calling me 'our husband', 'our darling', 'our love', 'our lord'. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that no women has finally got out of the monogamy-only mindframe who cannot say 'our' as spontaneously and joyfully as a monogamously married woman might say 'my'. It would be a wonderfully sign of the subjection of the ego to the higher Light of Christ and reflect the spirit of just what eternal polygamy is all about."
Though we had tried 'our' it had not come easily to us and most of us dropped the idea because it didn't feel right, forgetting that will and not feelings must determine our conduct in gospel affairs. But Stan would not press it, preferring it to be spontaneous. We knew his teaching about clothing the soul with good habits until they became natural was correct, that this was a teaching of Paul about righteousness in general, and that it was something we should try. It was like calling him 'my lord', or 'our lord', as righteous Sarah had addressed her husband Abraham, and as we were encouraged as Christiahn wives in the New Testament to do the same. Even Stan admitted that he found the usage embarrassing. Anna had perceptibly seen his error, though.
"When we're told by Yahweh to call you 'lord' it's not because you're perfect and holy like Yahweh but because of your position as head of the marriage and of the family. You are our ruler. So you shouldn't feel bad about it. It's the same as you've taught us about Pastors, isn't it, darling? We're supposed to obey, respect and support a Pastor not because he's perfect but because of his calling. You're called to be our lord, so we shouldn't feel any worse about calling you 'lord' as an assembly member calls his pastor, 'Pastor'? And if you're embarassed about being called 'lord' then why aren't you embarassed about being called to be a family head?"
Stan had been stunned by his young wife's incisive words, but it was his own fault for training us all so well. He didn't know what to say.
"You have said the truth, Anna," replied Stan humbly. "I suppose my greatest fear is to be proud, because the word 'lord' carries with it much heavy and responsibile meaning. But it's perfectly biblical. We are, I suppose, afraid to forget our lowly station because Christ Himself is also called 'Lord', though with a big 'L'. I am afraid to be thought of in Messianic terms, since I am a sinner. And yet the judges of Israel were called 'gods' or 'elohim' with a small 'g' or 'e', the same title given to Almighty God the Father, Yahweh-Elohim."
Andreea had been fascinated by our conversation. "What I learned as a Christian in Romania is like left-overs compared to what we're being taught by the Lord here. It's incredible. Sometimes I think we try to be so humble that we daren't see to what Yahweh has actually called us. If we're His sons and daughters, then surely we have the same last name too. Of course Stan is our lord just as he is our elohim - he rules by decree from the Lord and Elohim, not because He has earned it, but by grace. So I don't think we need fear being blasphemous so long as we remember it's not our merit - or Stan's merit - that allows him to bear these important titles. It's the tile of every Patriarch - they're Björn's, Lars' and Bengt's titles and offices too. They should be seen as stewardships. Just like the stewards given the talents. We, as Stan's wives, have been given to him as a king of stewardship too. We aren't to be buried in the ground for his own personal satisfaction but we are to be multiplied in his love. And remember what Yah'shua did when He gave the faithful stewardship as many coins as he had received again? It's the same in marriage - a faithful polygamist will be given more wives. The one who is given only one wife and does nothing about increasing his family by taking more wives, will lose that wife too. And guess what - that monogamous wife will be given to the faithgul polygamist!!"
Stan was deeply impressed by Andreea's insight, as were we. How wonderful it is seeing the Spirit at work amongst us when we are living in the truth. I thanked her afterwards for her insights and I thanked the Lord for giving her to me as a sister-wife. My heart so often wants to sing when I am touched by Yahweh - it is so wonderful to be a part of this living, dynamic revelation that is a New Covenant polygamous family. And every time a new wife comes into the family, I see it as my gain, and not just Stan's - it is our gain, for she is a talent given to Stan as a reward for his faithfulness. And just as Stan becomes more spiritually wealthy, so do we, his wives, become a greater wealth. Our own worth - our own worthiness - increases as more are embraced by our lord. My heart grows and grows and I wonder how I will ever be able to contain all this love. It is just so wonderful - it leads me to praise my Maker even more.
This page was first created in 2002
Last updated on 5 March 2009
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