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Guided Tour

Index of

The 12 Books of Abraham

    24. Plural Marriage and Testosterone

    As you will by now have realised, we are now dealing with the weakest arguments offered by the monogamy-only people. Indeed, when Scripture fails them, they invariably turn to slander and character-assassination.

    I have been accused many times of entering plural marriage because I am "sex mad". And no doubt there are some people who enter this marriage lifestyle because they genuinely have a sex life out control. However, plural marriage is probably one of the worst ways to fulfil a libido out of control because of all the added responsibility it brings and all the persecution it provokes. Those who are sex-mad tend to prefer a Cassanova-type of life of jumping from one bed to another without the responsibility and expense of children and home.

    I have met many people who both live plural marriage and those who want to. Amongst the latter there are undoubtedly many who are sex-mad. Interestingly enough, this category of testosterone-led (rather than Ruach/Spirit-person) man either never enters the principle (because the women see through him) or do so only to discover they are hopelessly unprepared to live it. Those who do slip through the moral net usually burn themselves out, and deservedly so. And Christian women are (thank goodness) getting wise to them. Plural marriage is not for sex-mad men.

    When plural marriage is measured and compared with monogamy in terms of sex all kinds of difficulties result. Obviously, if he is going to perform his duty properly, a man with several wives will be expected to engage in much more sexual activity than your average monogamous man. This can work both ways for him. If he is sensible he will learn the lesson of a friend of mine who worked in a chocolate factory in Accra, Ghana.

    As you may know, workers in chocolate factories can eat as much chocolate as they want to but they are not allowed to take any chocolate out of the factory home with them. They must eat it on the premises. My friend, like most in his position, I suspect, went crazy and just stuffed himself with all the chocolate he could get his hands on. After two weeks of eating his heart's desire, he got so ill that he never ate another bar of chocolate again.

    To be a man living plural marriage with several wives you have to have self-control. If you don't, plural marriage will either kill you or turn you off sex for life. And if the latter happens, guess who is going to suffer the most? The wives. This means that Christian plural marriage is absolutely NOT for sex-mad men!

    If you are interested in plural marriage for extra sex, then run a mile - preferably two - both for your sake and for the sake of the women who you might be starving because of your greed. Yes, you will need to have a stronger libido than most men but you must have it under control.

    Fortunately, Yahweh has given strict laws about sex. He has forbidden sex during a woman's menstruation. And for those who are stronger, you may abstain from sex for a week after menstruation too. Many abstain from sex during pregnancy (though that is not required by Torah) and others during lactation (again, not required by Torah). The Bible does require that a man does not have sex with a woman for a minimum period of time after the birth of a child.

    The purpose of sex is (1) to have children, and (2) to make strong bonds between husband and wives. Sex-mad men usually aren't interested in having children or in creating lasting bonds. Christian plural marriage may therefore be said to be a means by which godly men and women can raise strong families in Yahweh. And if that is what it is being used for (as it should be) then sexual self-control is required of both the men and the women.

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    This page was first created on 1 March 2003
    Last updated on 26 February 2009

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