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The 12 Books of Abraham

    FAQ 100

    Is Polygamy
    an Active Pursuit?

    Q. Is it right that we should be pursuing polygamy or should we sit back and wait for God to lead us?

    I think there are many interesting issues tied up with this question that are related for the most part to motive. There are some men who feel terribly guilty about looking for another wife because deep down they still have this false guilt that somehow it is wrong and that therefore they should keep as low a profile as possible. This false guilt can arise from the belief that somehow men entering this principle are 'spoiled' and that in order to balance things out for the women who are supposedly considerably disadvantaged living this lifestyle they should take a back seat and take some punishment. Some patriarchs even go so far as to yield complete control to their wives (and often a senior wife) in finding new wives.

    Personally I think it is wrong to even separate monogamy from polygamy. A more scriptural question is whether we should actively pursue marriage or not. Most people would, I think, agree that prospective husbands and wives come together under a variety of circumstances. Sometimes they mysteriously (read 'under divine sovereignty') cross each others' paths without so much as any sort of active search being made at all. Sometimes they must search far and wide. Abraham had to initiate a search through his servant Eliezer for a bride for Isaac, Jacob simply found himself in the place through an extraordinary event (robbing the birthright off his brother) where he obtained all four of his wives. All three of my current (2002) wives, plus my first one whom I am separated from, were all brought to me where I was. On the one occasion I went looking it was a disaster. So perhaps for me I am just supposed to wait. Others, on the other hand, may have to search.

    But where does one draw the line? I can see enormous disadvantages if a man feels he has to pursue. Some men are so consumed by the chase that they can think of nothing else. There can be no doubt that getting on with life and being content with what one has is by far the best way to live spiritually. If and when we go out and search, it should only ever dp so by by divine prompting and under divine guidance and not out of carnal impulse. If the driving force is Yahweh, the search will probably not take long and a series of events will conspire to ensure the matching takes place in a way that there is no mistaking the signs. Of course there may be delays and obstacles - Jacob had 14 years of these. But as a general rule assume that Yahweh will lead, focus on your present marriage to make it the best marriage possible, and let Yahweh take care of the rest.

    Most of those who are off the way and not walking in Yahweh's will are undoubtedly the 'hunters' and 'chasers'. It doesn't usually take me long to spot a counterfeit - someone who thinks he is called into polygamy but who unquestionably is not.

    Marriage is not a chase - it is a reunion of what already is. And if the soul desiring marriage is truly walking in the faith of Yah'shua (Jesus) and in obedeience to Torah (the Law / commandments) he will be led at the right time and in the right place. He will not need to pursue. So if you are a believer trusting in El Elyon, the Most High, stay clear of the hunters! They're often sexual predators or misguided souls in need of some major character reformation.

    Author: SBSK

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    First created on 12 December 2002
    Updated on 17 May 2016

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