Q. My wife and I have been looking for a sister-wife for some time now and everywhere we go we only seem to find bisexual women. Where can one find normal heterosexual women?
I'm afraid to say (mostly because I have become somewhat of a prophet of doom in recent times) that in addition to the rise and virtual promotion of abuse in at least one polygamy group that has attained the dimensions of a cult (now defunct), we are finding yet another mushrooming abuse in the movement: the acceptance as normal and even biblical of lesbianism, and in particular, bisexuality in sister-wives.
I anticipated this would become a major problem about a year ago (2001) and as a result we set up both a bisexuals homepage as well as a bisexual club (now discontinued) to address the issues. Needless to say the club has never become very popular because of the entrenched belief not only in the secular society, but increasingly in Christian/Messianic circles too, that lesbianism is acceptable.
One of the most dangerous trends that has now emerged in the Christian/Messianic polygamy community is the acceptance by some messianic poly ministries of the legitimacy of bisexual practice in sister-wives. This green-light to a variation of lesbianism - bisexual sister-wives - has opened the door to a host of demonic problems that will only further add to the woes of Christian/Messianic Polygamy. And what is happening now is that bisexual women are finding a safe haven, even a mecca, in an increasingly widening circle in Christian/Messianic Polygamy.
It was inevitable that Christian/Messianic Polygamy would become satanised along with every other aspect of the Gospel and unfortunately it is now happening at an accelerated pace. Many of the 'Christian' polygamy clubs on-line are just cyber bars for perverts. We make great efforts to screen out all low spiritual lifeforms in our two main poly clubs. (Both of these have been closed down). These, and perhaps one or two others on the net, are likely the only places you are going to find women who are truly in Christ and are not looking for a perverse lifestyle.
I believe that the ever shrinking number of places where good men and women can be found for potential polygamous marriage is indicative not only of what I have said above but of the fact that Yahweh wishes only those who have been genuinely called to this principle to rely on Him to lead and guide in the search for spouses. The sanctified and called polygamists in Christ will not in any case be making themselves window presentions in a cybermarket but simply be getting on with their Christian witness and letting Yahweh bring them together with those who are ordained to be their husbands or wives.
It is important that you properly check out all potential polygamous women by ascertaining whether or not they have a history of a lesbian or bisexual lifetstyle. Only recenly a patriarch and his first wife got the shock of their life when they discovered that the second wife was, in fact, a full-blown lesbian but had kept the matter quiet because she had fallen in lust with the first wife and wasn't remotely interested in the husband. Though I had detected the signs of a lesbian problem early on and had warned them, the true revelation did not come 'out' until some time later.
There are many men and women rationalising that there is an acceptable form of lesbianism in polygyny and many of the men are falling for this because they know the supply of purely heterosexual women is small. Rather than be led by Yahweh to spiritually virgin heterosexual women they are either compromising or ignoring the clear witness of the Holy Spirit that they are not called into this lifestyle at all. This is not dissimilar to Abraham and Sarah's impatience to preempt Yahweh by taking a short-cut in bringing Hagar into their family to have a proxy child for them.
Well, I have news for impatient or uncalled patriarchs: bringing bisexual women into their families without any plan to have them delivered from demons and healed of the lesbian problem is storing up wrath and destruction for them.
In saying this I do not wish to seem unloving to those women who do have a bisexual problem. A true patriarch will want to help such and, I believe, are in a unique position to do so. But to permit them to have sex with sister-wives in the manner of the lesbians is no solution to a perceived sexual need but rather a trap-door to spiritual destruction, especially if hetersexual women are led into bisexuality themselves. What most of these 'liberal' patriarchs are doing however, is deliberately recruiting bisexual wives in order to make their path into polygamy easier. And Messianics, who lay such stress on the Torah (Law), which only (on the surface) condemns male homosexuality, are using such a loophole (as they suppose) to justify their action. Many, knowing that Paul condemns lesbianism as much as he does homosexuality, have taken the drastic step of rejecting Paul (Ebionism) or have simply tried to twist the apostle's meaning. Either way, they are walking along a spiritual gangplank whose end is a Davy Jones' locker.
However, what these pseudo-Messianics fail to note is the gender inclusiveness of most of Torah edicts. Thus if a man is commanded not to commit adultery or to covet another man's wife or property, the same is true of a woman. Perhaps that is why the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to include lesbianism in list list of 'no's' in anticipation of such people as are today trying to persuade us that same-gender sex is permissible for women but not men. And what a perfect way to both conceal and justify sin by recruiting bisexuals into polygamous marriages for this purpose, thus giving it a flavour of legitimacy!
As more and more pernicious heresies enter the Christian/Messianic Polygamy movement, so we are required to distance ourself from such persons and their ministries and to stand alone. (This was one of the reasons we closed this ministry down between 2003 and 2016). If the end-time Church/Assembly is to be a tiny minority in Christendom, then it follows that the same fate will befall Christian/Messianic polygamists - the true polygamists will be a small handfull of die-hard faithfuls in a sea of perversion, abuse and apostacy.
My advice to you and your wife is, if you have truly been called into polygamy by Yahweh, to stay aloof of the high-profile polygamy ministries and the rogue polygamists and their dubious agendas and simply trust in Yahweh to lead you on a day-to-day basis. Hunting for wives can be a major time-waster when so many more pressing needs face the Body (Messianic Community), especially the need to evangelise and gather in the remaining elect. I must confess that with the passage of time I am becoming more and more sceptical of the need for ministries which exclusively bear the polygamist label as though one can ever take one principle of the Gospel and place it under the spotlight and advertise it like a commodity. The result tends to be to neglect other things and to divert attention from more important things. It is for this reason that I have personally started downgrading my activity in 'activities polygamous' and am increasingly moving back to missions (2002).
Most of my counsel is now available on this site and for now I shall simply be acting as a watchdog for deviancy in the wider polygamy community until Yahweh sends me some new insight to share with the Body (Messianic Community).