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The 12 Books of Abraham

    FAQ 74

    How Many Women
    Have Sought to
    Join Your Family?

    Q. How many women have asked to join your family? Do you get many? And why have so few joined?

    Too many to count. In the first phase of our ministry, from 1998 to 2003, we had a lot of women interested in our family, on average about one every three to six months. They came from every imaginable background, and with different hopes and ambitions, different priorities, and different senses of their actual calling. Most of them came for what we consider to be the wrong motives or who did not meet our spiritual criteria. As I have written elsewhere, we are very 'picky' because of the work we are doing. We do not believe, as so many misguided men and women seem to these days, that polygamy is just 'recreational'. As a family we have a mission. That means joining our family means not only marrying a husband, getting along well with his wives and children, but in being a part of a Kingdom-building exercise too: in short, we are on mission. It also will mean, for many, living abroad, moving from home, city and country, and in some cases possibly never going back again. Many who have turned away have simply not been prepared to dig up their roots and immigrate to Europe. Most of these were from Canada and the United States with only a handful from Europe.

    When we withdrew our internet presence for 13 years from 2003 to 2016, interest dwindled to almost zero, as we expected it would. Since then we have added one wife to our family though we have known her for a decade. In the period before 2003 two women came close to what we were looking for and one whom we absolutely know was, and still is, called into the family. The first two eventually went their own way and the latter refused my proposal.

    One of the biggest 'stumbling-blocks' for prospective wives so far has been the necessity of leaving their home countries, friends and family behind in order to come and live with us here in Europe. One of the hallmarks of a true son or daughter of Abraham is a willingness to pull up one's roots and start a new life elsewhere. In fact, it's an abosolutely necessary character trait of the end-time Remnant Bride. Those who aren't willing to do so don't usually have the qualities needed for what we are doing.

    You will remember that Yahweh commanded Abraham to leave his homeland in Chaldea and totally relocate to Canaan. He had to leave behind a comfortable and prosperous urban life in Ur to become a bedouin living in tents in a foreign land. That must have been a great upheaval for him and his wife Sarah. But he obeyed and Yahweh prospered him.

    Every single one of my wives, and myself too, has moved country at least once in order, I suspect, to learn something of what it is to be a true descendant of that great patriarch. We have learned, as a result, not to get too attached to the world and instead focus on heavenly realities. Almost all of the American women I have met and who expressed interest in what we were doing drew back because they didn't want to leave America. And one typically saw advertisements in the Christian/Messianic Polygamy media of men and women looking for marriage partners living in this 'city' or that 'state'. You will never really be able to walk in the will of Yahweh if you put such limitations on both yourself and Yahweh. Any man or woman seriously interested or committed to Christian/Messianic polygamy must be willing to go anywhere Yahweh sends him/her in the knowledge that he/she will be blessed and find happiness.

    I have been asked by women whether I would be interested to move to the USA. I have replied that I will go wherever Yahweh sends me. I once tried to move to America but Yahweh put obstacles up at every step I took. In the end He led me to the country and place where I am now, based on direct guidance and revelation from the Holy Spirit. I am where Yahweh has put me and here I stay until He tells me otherwise. And any wife wanting to marry me must be of the same mind.

    I expect some more women will show interest in joining my home but of that number I only expect a small minority to be the right ones. And those who are will have the same spirit as Sarah the wife of Abraham, and be willing to sing the hymn:

      It may not be on the mountain height
      Or over the stormy seas;
      It may not be at the battle's front
      My Lord will have need of me;
      But if, by a still, small voice He calls
      To paths that I do not know,
      I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine:

      I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
      Over mountain, or plain or sea;
      I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord;
      I'll be what You want me to be.

      (Mary Brown & Carrie E. Rounsfell)

    If a woman approaches us in that spirit then there's more than an average chance that she is called to be a part of us. And I will be the first to eagerly listen to whatever she has to say. I am, in any case, getting older now and not actively looking as I once was. And unless she is a passionate believer in the Gospel, committed to our vision, I am not interested. So I expect fewer and fewer to come searching.

    How many women have come seeking altogether? About 30 altogether, I would estimate, maybe a few more than that, of whom 7 married me altogether and 3 have remained.

    Author: SBSK

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    First created on 2 September 2001
    Updated on 15 May 2016

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