The following discussion took place on the Couples Using Traditional Lifestyles bulletin board and though many of the participants were hostile to my participation, the garciously lady-host overrulled them and wanted to know more about the polyagmist viewpoint. It is important to know that not all monogamy-only people are hostile and that some are genuinely interested and what to learn more about our lifestyle. I hope you will find this discussion edifying.
The preamble to the forum, which is well worth visiting, is as follows:
'This forum is for couples (men and women) that believe in traditional marriages. We believe that men should be the head of the household and make all the decisions that they chose. As women, we stand beside our husband, supporting him in his leadership of our home. We do this freely, as we believe there is real strength in our submissiveness. Come join our forum and discuss the benefits as well as the challenges to this lifestyle.
To support male leadership as head of the household. To join together with other like-minded wives celebrating our service to our husband. Together we will accomplish these things by:
1) Providing information that promotes positive service to our husbands.
2) Providing information that promotes positive leadership to our wives.
3) Taking a stand against the extreme feminist movement.
4) Celebrating our love for each other by supporting gender discussions and refraining from bashing.
5) Helping other achieve a more enhanced traditional marriage.
'This site will also support various religious beliefs and because there are several opinions of religion will not attack anyone personal religious beliefs. This site will also respect different political opinions and will not permit political arguments.
'This site is not a BDSM site and will not permit any activity of sexual posts.'
Link (now defunct): www0.delphi.com/cutl/
1. Host: I, for one, would be very interested in hearing some of the similarities and differences between your lifestyle (polygamy) and ours (monogamy).
I understand what you mean when you say that discussing your life without religion is impossible. True, having our personal convictions is what makes us who we are. However, what I meant in other posts, is that our focus here is living in a lifestyle in which the man is the head of the household, has the final decision, and we stand beside and support him in this. Our primary focus is not which religion is the better one. That would be like saying 'My Jesus is better than your Jesus!!!'
Furthermore, I think that in the same way we learn about other languages, other customs, and etc, we can learn about polygamy. I for one feel that when we learn about new things we are less likely to be prejudiced. We are less likely to act fearful, thus less likely to react in anger, feeling like we have to protect ourselves.
Also, just as in all religions and beliefs, the bottom line is that these beliefs teaches people to love ourselves, love others, and not to be judgemental. Only our God may judge. I welcome the chance for you and your wives here for some discussions on how they are supportive in your home, and how you make decisions that benefit their life.
Welcome to the forum.
1.1. Stanisław: Thank you for your kind response which I shall reply to fully later. May I begin by simply saying that as a Christian/Messianic polygynist that I am in complete agreement (from what I have read) of Domestic Discipline (DD) which is an essential ingredient of Christian/Messianic Polygyny (CP).
A point of information for those interested in our approach to DD: the CP movement is essentially divided into two wings: (a) DD by force, and (b) DD by love. There is considerable debate in these two wings. I am of the latter school, believing that the only healthy and productive form of DD is that which is done, in the first instance, by attraction and example. Since we follow the Christian/Messianic paradigm of a husband loving his wives (or wife, for that matter) as Christ loves the Church (Messianic Community), with wives (of wife) obeying her husband as the Church (Messianic Community) (is supposed to) obey Christ, we maintain that DD and patriarchal love are two components of the same equation. In otherwords, DD without unconditional love on the part of the husband is oppression, where as DD with unconditional love is liberation for both or all parties in its fullest sense. That is not to say that one partner must wait to do his or her part before responding, but that both should be actively engaged from the start. Nevertheless, it is the responsibility of the man as head to take the initiative where there is none, by unconditionally loving his wife or wives, and from there implimenting DD. As the wife or wives see that they are truly loved and cherished, DD will come naturally to them because it is based on trust.
I will have more to comment on later. Thank you again for your kindness.