Because the odds are so heavily stacked against us carnally-speaking in terms of being prepared for plural marriage when we enter it, it is important from the outset to underline that in Christ all things are possible. I have witnessed - both as a pastor and as a husband - miraculous transformations take place in and through the power of Yah'shua (Jesus) and of such magnitude that I could never doubt who He claims to be. He truly does bind up the broken-hearted and sets the captives free when we allow Him to work in us. And no matter how dark our days may at times appear, there is always the hope and promised realisation of the dawning of a new day.
In my previous article, Generational Ties and the Polygamist Family, I talked about the woundedness we can all bring into marriage with us and how we can all be healed in Christ. The responsibility of the husband-minister is, first, to get himself fixed, and then to guide his wives into healing and deliverance. And the place he must begin is in exposing all demonic lies.
Yah'shua (Jesus) teaches us a three-fold process that leads to abundant living in Him. He declares Himself to be "the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6). We begin our journey by recognising (accepting through faith) that He - and He alone - is the solution. He is the 'Salvation of Yah' (Yah-shua) - we obtain the deliverance our Heavenly Father offers us through Him. This second step is a quest for TRUTH - we need to know the truth about ourselves, about the purpose of life, and heaven. Once we are engaged in Truth, then - and only then - the abundant life begins to flow in us.
What I want to talk about now are the Eight Satanic Lies that we are frequently told about ourselves. Anyone who tells you any of these lies is - consciously or unconsciously - abusing you. Abuse can be anything from mental haranguing to physical violence which leads to emotional crippling and impaired marriage relationships that can be anything from moderately debilitating to completely crippling. The cause of this crippling can be parents, husbands, wives, associates - anyone. Let us now look at these eight lies and the kinds of emotions they can evoke. If any of these apply to you, please make a careful note of them.
1. Abandonment. 'I am all alone. I have been overlooked. I will always be alone. They/he/she do/does not need me. I don't matter. No one even cares. They are not coming back. There is no one to protect me. God has forsaken me too. No one will believe me. I cannot trust anyone. I'm afraid they won't come back.'
2. Shame. 'I am so stupid, ignorant, an idiot. I should have done something to have stopped it from happening. I allowed it. I was a participant. I should have known better. It was my fault. I should have told someone. I knew what was going to happen yet I stayed anyway. I felt pleasure so I must have wanted it. I was a participant. It happened because of my looks, my gender, my body, etc.. I should have stopped them. I did not try to run away. I deserved it. I am cheap like a slut. I was paid for service rendered. I kept going back. I did it to him/her first. I am bad, dirty, shameful, sick, nasty.'
3. Fear. 'I am going to die, he/she is going to hurt me. I do not know what to do. If I tell they will come back and hurt me. If I trust I will die. He/she/they are coming back. It is just a matter of time before it happens again. If I let him/her/them into my life they will hurt me too. Something bad will happen if I tell, stop, confront it. They are going to get me. Doom is just around the corner.'
4. Powerlessness. 'I cannot stop this, He/she/they are too strong to resist. There is no way out. I am too weak to resist. The pain is too great to bear. I cannot get away. I am going to die and I cannot do anything about it. I cannot get loose. I am overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. Everything is out of control. I am pulled from every direction. Not even God can help me. I am too small to do anything.'
5. Tainted. 'I am dirty, shameful, evil, perverted, etc. because of what happened to me. My life is ruined. I will never feel clean again. Everyone can see my shame, filth, dirtiness, etc.. I will always be hurt/damaged/broken because of what has happened. I will never be happy. I will always be unclean, filthy, etc.. God could never want me after what has happened to me. My body parts are dirty. No one will ever really be able to love me.'
6. Invalidation. 'I am not loved, needed, wanted, cared for, or important. They do not need me. I am worthless, have no value. I am unimportant. I was a mistake. I should never have been born. I am in the way. I am a burden. I was never liked by them because I was _______________. God could never love or accept me. I could never be as _________ as she/he. I could never jump high enough to please him/her. I am not acceptable.'
7. Hopeless. 'It is never going to get any better. There is no way out. It will just happen again and again. There is no good thing in me. I have no reason to live. There are no options for me. I just want to die. Nothing good will ever come of this.'
8. Confusion. 'I don't know what is happening to me. Everything is confusing. This does not make any sense. Why would they do this to me?' (This lie is sometimes confused with demonic interference. Demons will cause confusion in a memory which will feel much like a confusion lie). (Courtesy of Ed M. Smith, Beyond Tolerable Recovery, p.406).
The first step towards deliverance, healing and the abundant life is to confront each and every one of these lies when they crop up. If, for instance, you reflexly find yourself telling yourself, 'I am worthless,' intervene! Declare to yourself: "This is a lie! I renounce the lie. Yah'shua (Jesus) is the Truth, and He has declared me to be of infinite worth! I am loved by Him. I have worth! And I rebuke any spirits that would have me believe otherwise, I bind them, and I cast them out in the Name of Yah'shua (Jesus) and by the power of His blood!" Even if you may have to repeat this several times until you fully convinmce yourself, do it anyway. Reprogramming lies that have been hammered into us by cruel and feelingless people can take a while, depending on your faith. Always, wherever possible, try to find a scripture which contradicts the lie, and quote it to yourself. His Word is Truth. Confidently use it.
We live in a world that surrounds us with lies. We are constantly being bombarded with brainwashing in the media, constantly being fed lies by both the unsaved as well as believers who have not yet received the whole truth in their souls. Ours is principally a battle of Truth vs. lies.
The most devastating lies come from those who should be our protectors - our parents and/or our husbands. When parents and husbands abuse, the whole foundation of inner personal security is seriously damaged. Where this happens, Yah'shua (Jesus) steps in on the first level, and brothers and sisters in Christ step in on the second. We are to make constant affirmations of Truth which is where the Bible becomes so critically important. Here the Truth is set out for us plainly and we do not need to run the risk of following unredeemed feelings or the opinions of men.
The Torah teaches us that when a couple are betrothed (married without physical contact) the husband goes away and prepares a home for his wife. Anciently he would go with his father, leaving his bride with her parents or guardians, and build her a house. He was not permitted to go and collect her to consummate the marriage until the house was prepared and his father gave him permission to do so. This, of course, makes sound practical sense since a marriage that has a secure temporal foundation has a far better chance of success. No-one wants to raise children without a roof over their heads.
But there is an important spiritual application too. A husband brings his wife into his home and his covering. He is the protector. The period of betrothal and (if he is wise) before that - should be a time for the husband to get his spiritual house in order. There is no way he is going to be able to help his wife resolve spiritual issues if he has unresolved issues himself, especially ones that are going to make him impotent as a family minister. The 'father' to whom he goes to get his own house sorted out can be his father (if he is a man of Elohim/God) or a minister like a Pastor. In any event, he should go to a spiritual mentor.
In the short space of a decade (1993-2003) during which Christian/Messianic polygamy made its first steps into the West I have been meeting men who have entered polygamy with disasterous consequences, because these men were damaged inside - emotional cripples (even if brilliant in other areas) - who instead of blessing their wives ended up abusing them and even throwing them out. One of the leading lights of this movement physically abused wives and children alike and in the process has brought disrepute to the whole movement. Yet he refuses to admit he has a problem or to repent. In the end he deserted three of his wives and children. When men entering this movement become their own mentors, they are setting themselves up for a fall. Everyone needs a spiritual father to whom they can go for counsel and - when necessary - be corrected to prevent them from doing harm and injury to others. When this does not happen, abuse not only spirals out of control but those with such problems influence others with similar problems. It thus comes as no surprise that physically abusive men seem to congregate under leaders who are themselves of the same disposition, even if they may not be aware of the leaders' abuses. And this is because of the same spirits (demons) that drive them.
If a woman marries an abusive husband, what chance does she have? How can she develop the kind of trust and submission needed for echad to work? The answer is: she cannot. Her marriage, far from even pointing to echad, will be a siege - either open warfare or a cold war of nerves.
It is a slightly different matter in the case of an abusive woman who gets married unless the husband is weak and cannot command authority in his home. If he cannot, then the abusive woman will bring in demons of her own. A different kind of battle takes place with an abusive woman: she can react in one of two ways. She can either knock herself (as with the Eight Lies above) or she can turn her anger outwards and blame everyone else for her crippled spirit. It is easier to help someone in the former category than in the latter.
Many of my courtships with other women wanting to come into my family have been aborted (usually from their side) because I gently tried to confront them with spiritual issues - they wanted to enter into a marriage relationship before making an attempt to resolve the issues. When this happens, it is usually under great pressure from demonic forces because behind every lie lurks a demon. Usually when lies are exposed the demons leave without a struggle but only if the one under the delusion wants to be quit of it. Some lies can be quite intoxicating, exerting drug-like powers over those who believe in them, and this empowers demonic forces. Accordingly, when this kind of ministry is undertaken, much spiritual warfare and covering prayer is required.
Courtship is, furthermore, a very vulnerable period. During this time the woman is still her own misstress (even though as a single she is actually under her father's headship or an appointee guardian - these days, though, this is little recognised) and the power of this position - which she knows she must yield in marriage to her husband - can be a great temptation to her - to wield as a 'threat' if she does not ger her way. She can be particularly vulnerable at this point, and my last intended wielded it as a means of 'punishing' me for not accepting her vices. The trouble is, she went and married an evil, God-hating man. Power is a fearful thing especially when it is not subject to the Spirit and the Word (Bible) (see Crossing into Echad). That is one reason why courtship should be monitored by the spiritually astute - when you only have yourself for counsel, you are invariably going to make mistakes. The concept behind chaperoning is likewise pretty good to preclude falling into the sin of fornication before marriage covenants have been entered into.
It needs to be said in addition to all of this that the truth can be frightening. I have know many ladies who have just turned tail when they have heard it. And yet it should not be so. The Truth is liberating, and not something to feel apprehensive about. So what do you do when you are faced with the truth and feel like running? You must, quite simply, clutch onto the Word of Life, and stand your ground.
I receive many life-threats each year from Satanists and others who, if they could, would do physical harm to me. I have learned, however, to trust in the Almighty. At first it was hard, especially if one has been in the habit of leaning on fleshly armaments. I know many people who keep weapons and swear that there is nothing wrong in using them for self-defence. Whilst I don't dispute their right to believe that, I have chosen to rely on Yahweh's direct powers of intervention. These I have seen in action - but only when we trust.
Satan acquires power over believers by getting them to believe lies and to fear. Everyone of us (and I don't care about people's protests to the contrary) has fallen for this tactic. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. However, we can grow beyond this by crucifying the flesh and yielding more and more to Yah'shua (Jesus) in faith. This becomes easier as we learn to discern between truth and error, and this is accomplished by diligent Bible study. I have consistently noticed that the chinks in a Christian's/Messianic's armour are proportionally larger the less they are prayerfully immersed in their Bibles. Satan will, of course, get you to make more excuses by telling you even more lies like 'the Bible is too hard to understand'. That's what I used to think too and at first I found it daunting. I reasoned I was not scholarly enough. Not true. We all have the ability to become expert Scriptorians. One brother I know, who has a very low IQ and never excelled in anything, put his mind to Bible study and is now widely consulted, by myself included. He is in much demand by ministers and layfolk alike. Nothing is impossible for Yahweh.
As I mentioned in my previous essay, all my wives have had spiritual issues to resolve. One was sexually defiled before I knew her and has since experienced the miracle of having her spiritual virginity restored. Prior to that she believed all sorts of lies about herself and her worth.
Yah'shua (Jesus) said:
"Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:27-30, NKJV).
This promise is for everyone. Please notice what coming to Yah'shua (Jesus) actually entails and what it begins with: Take my yoke. He says it is "easy" to do and that His "burden is light". What is this yoke? This word translates the Greek zugos which means 'coupling' or 'servitute to a law or obligation', in other words, His commandments (e.g. John 10:15) or New Covenant Torah. It translates the Hebrew 'ol meaning the same thing. And yet what lie has Satan taught Christians/Messianics? That Torah has been abolished! Little wonder that so much victory is absent from their lives, and little wonder they are seduced and deceived by counterfeit spirits. Another lie Satan has told us is that obeying Torah is crushingly hard and impossible. It isn't. Obeying Torah in the Spirit is easy - a light burden indeed.
The reason Satan has so much power over believers is because they are rejecting the Torah (Law) by which he is exposed and which, if we obey it, removes his legal grounds for harrassing us. Satan is the arch-legalist. If you break one of Yahweh's laws, he is in like a shot, whether you are aware of what you have done it or not. To disobey a divine law is to believe a lie. To believe that adultery is OK is to believe a lie - and to commit it is to bring that lie to fruition. To believe that marriage vows aren't necessary is to believe yet another lie and cause one to become a fornicator. To believe that a wife is not subject to her husband ... well, you get my point. The Torah is our protection, not our cursing. The only curse that comes is when we disobey it and let Satan's minions in.
To be free - really free - means taking this yoke upon ourselves. It is not, however, a yoke of oppression but of liberty. Like anything it is subject to abuse - remove the Spirit and it is dead. Remove love and it is slavery. But "Elohim (God) is love", and so He who asks us to harnass ourselves to His laws (rules) brings not slavery but freedom. It is always Satan who is the lawless (rule-less) one.
I am writing today wearing both the polyagmist's as well as the [deliverance] minister's hats since in truth I believe they are inseparable. The Gospel is one whole (echad). And as such it is a great threat to the kingdom of darkness which opposes it so implaccably.
When things are done properly in line with the Word and always with the empowerment of the Spirit, things begin to happen - marvellous and wonderful things. At this very moment there are five women who belong to my family having the spiritual struggle of their lives. My heart reaches out to them but for now they are, to differing degrees, on their own as they face critical choices in their lives. They are all wonderful people who are desperately needed here whom Satan is opposing with all he's got because of spiritual issues.
The Word and the Spirit bring overcoming and empowerment
As this evening we enter the Feast of Weeks or Shavu'ot, better (though wrongly) known as 'Pentecost', I pray for great miracles both for my own family as well as for the families of others whom I know are currently under great pressure from the enemy. This festival has been given to us by Yahweh to reawaken and strengthen personal relationships with Yahweh and with each other by rededicating ourselves to the observance and study of the Torah - our most precious heritage. When Yahweh revealed His Ten Commandments on Sinai - which are everlasting commandments - His people pledged their allegiance to Him by saying: "All that Yahweh has said we will do and be obedient" (Exodus 24:7) and this as evidence now, in the New Covenant, that we love His Son Yah'shua (Jesus) who is the 'Salvation of Yah[weh]'. Just as Pesach (Passover) physically freed Yahweh's people from Egyptian bondage, the giving of Torah on Shavuot ('Pentecost') redeemed us spiritually from our bondage to idolatry, immorality, and Satan's lies.
I would like to invite this community to therefore rededicate themselves this evening and watch the blessings flow. Amen.
For more information on Yahweh's festivals and their significance to the New Covenant of Christ, please see our Festivals website. For more on Torah, please see our New Covenant Torah Page.