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    Preparing for and
    Old Age in Polygamy

    Whether we like it or not, we all get old and provision for old age must be made. But I wonder how many polygamists have given any thought to a subject which most people would rather forgot especially when they are still on the 'right' side of 50? Old age brings many challenges to the polygamist family that really ought to be seriously considered before one enters this principle. And I shall spend the rest of this essay explaining why.

    We all know that polygamy is expensive. Polygamy is several families-in-one with theoretically only one bread-earner. There are many polygamist families right now who are struggling to make ends meet. Some are, wisely, being led to become self-sufficient and are involving the whole family in farming-like enterprises. Others are hoping that their pensions will cover their old age requirements.

    But it is a fact, rarely admitted by government for reasons that are obvious, that a time is coming ... and faster than they would care to admit ... when governments will not be able to afford to pay out pensions. The proportion of pensioners relative to the rest of society is increasing rapidly and governments know that they will not be able to look after their old folk eventually. Could that be why many régimes are pushing through euthanesia programs so that when the economic crunch comes old people will be forced to end their lives, especially those who are sick? There are already shocking things going on in Western state-run hospitals - unofficially sick old people have been assigned a 'low priority' status when it comes to treatment, and treatments which are able to restore their health are being denied. Some, it is true, is caused by long waiting lists (which need not exist when the actual causes are examined) but I have heard stories from people in the medical profession in several countries who have admitted to me that elderly folk are officially considered not to have the same 'worth' in our neo-pagan society as they did in the former Christian society of yesterday. Indeed, they are employing, in Orwellian fashion, a kind of 'double-speak' - on the one hand they are lavishing care on certain segments of the pensioner population and on the other savagely ignoring those who are chronically ill and need the most care. And we have been prepared for what is to come by some strategically released movies by Hollywood (which is under the control of the Illuminati masters). Health care, in even the richest and most socialist-orientated Western countries, is simply being denied, and on very flimsy grounds.

    So don't count on your pension cheque/check when you get old. Within the a matters of months years the old age pension may well be a thing of the past. Government will expect families to take care of their old. But given the fragmented nature of society and the disingeration of nuclear families, the ever increasing generation gap and carelessless of human beings in their relationships towards one other, how likely is it that the old are going to be taken of? The dominant neo-paganism, shod of its last vestiges of Christianity and finally humanism, will reveal itself to be nothing more than what it has always been, though in pupal form - naked satanism. The old person of tomorrow is going to be regarded as a non-productive and therefore worthless part of society, destined for extinction in the most effecient and inexpensive way possible. Even communism will seem enlightened compared to the dog-eat-dog world of the end-time period.

    Do not assume that your children or grandchildren will take care of you when the social welfare system of government collapses - either by design or because of warfare or economic collapse. Don't underestimate the selfishness of the carnal nature. Don't be naïve.

    I do much work with Third World countries where social welfare is non-existant. Widows are as vulnerable as orphans and about the only people who take care of them - when they are able to to (with the non-existent financial recources at their disposal) - are Christians. The men die younger there than here, ravaged by the wear-and-tear of a harsh life, so there are large numbers of widows. With the AIDS epidemic in Africa, increasing in the momentum of its spread in the West on account of immorality, society is inheriting a mushrooming ocean of unwanted and uncared for humanity - children and women especially.

    Now I know that there are many well meaning Christian/Messianic men who see polygamy as a solution to this human catastrophe and I conceed that there is a way in which it might be in a very limited sense. However, please remember that the majority of these people will, in the last days, be diseased and unmarriable, becoming the modern equivalent of the lepers of the ancient world. For the most part these people will need quite a different kind of care. And as most of you know, I have never believed that polygamy, let alone marriage in its widest sense, was created to become a sanatorium or hostel for society's outcasts. What alarms me the most is that very often the men who wish to become these women's 'saviours' are not the least bit interested in helping them except in a marriage context, which suggests to me that other, obvious, motives are the main driving force behind wanting to bring them into their families. Though polygamy may offer certain solutions, it can - must - never be the first level of care offered to these people. Solo-Christian/Messianic solutions like polygamy are not really solutions at all but tend only to perpetuate the modern egocentric error of modern Christianity which increasingly seeks to remove itself from the communal ideal and to ally itself to the concept of independent and unaccountable personal pseudo-patriarchal kingdoms. Polygamy without community is just another form of egocentricity but under a different label, a perpetrator of the malaise of society in general instead of its solution. Unless polygamy is an integral part of Christian community - whether as an expression of the local church/assembly or a gathering of families and individuals - it becomes part of the problem instead of a solution.

    Because it is expensive, and because the safety net for old people is likely to disappear sooner than we would like to believe, and because the world is going to become a crueler and less caring place in the future, and has been heading down that road now for some decades, polygamists, and those seriously thinking about entering polygamy, ought to be asking themselves some very sobering questions.

    Some of us have young or younger wives. What will happen to them when you, the chief bread-earner, have gone? What will happen to any children who have not reached maturity? What provisions have been made for them? If you are a solo-Christian building your own private polygamous kingdom, you are going to be in serious trouble - or to be more precise, your wives and children are. Don't imagine they will necessarily be treated kindly by the dominant monogamy-only Christians/Messianics who will themselves be passing through difficulties. You know as well as I do that the polygamy issue is viewed by them as a demonic one, as Paul warned it would be.

    Then consider all the predator-polygamists and how vulnerable your wives and children will become in an uncaring world which no longer offers them a social security network. Think of the pressure they will be under to 'remarry' in order to be clothed and fed ... and not just by polygamists, but perhaps ever the dregs of society whom other women would not have? What if you become incapacitated by war or disease, which we know will increase in the last days, and find yourself alone and unable to provide? Have you considered all these questions ... and more? Ought some of you to be marrying women who are considerably younger than you are, for whatever motives (good or evil), unless you have had a definite revelation to do so? For unless you have had Yahweh's permission and blessing, and aren't just following your carnal lusts, you are just going to bring down misery on their heads and the heads of their children.

    We come, therefore, to a number of salient issues which should never be left until the last moment but which should be carefully considered way in advance or marriage itself. Of course, if you know you are operating in Yahweh's will and not just imagining that you are, then by and large you have little to worry about, so long as you are walking responsively in obedience. For if you are indeed about the Kingdom-building mandate, and if this is truly your first priority (and that, by the way, inescapably implies community, not solo-Christianity), then you are likely to be on the right track. But if any other motive is your priority, then you are building a personal kingdom on sand that will collapse and bring woe and suffering to your wives and children.

    Many polygamists live as though there is no tomorrow because that is the way they have always lived. Their reasons for living polygamy, the Gospel, career, and other key areas of life are screwed up. Many are already presumptuously living this principle and must either repent in sackcloth and ashes or become the instruments and victims of much sorrow. POLYGAMY IS NOT A 'FREE CHOICE'. It is a calling and a responsibility, like that of a Pastor. And if anyone has told you that it is an alternative lifestyle in the free market of marriage then they have LIED to you. Polygamy is not an 'alternative' lifestyle like homosexuality or some other non-Biblical lifestyle. It is the kingly form of marriage for those already walking in the kingly way.

    There is no other reason to enter polygamy than:

    • (a) For Kingdom-building (not yours, but Christ's); and
    • (b) You have been called into it for definite and not because you 'believe' you have.

    If you have entered into it for any other reason, then old age is going to be a NIGHTMARE both for you, your wives, and your children. Consider that! And remember also, the chances are you won't be around to protect your wives and children from the nightmare legacy you leave them.

    I should not, additionally, need to say that the first motive - Kingdom-building - can be twisted. The Jehovah's Witnesses are a good example of that. They are kingdom-builders but of the wrong kind. And there are plenty of other false 'kingdom' visions in circulation, those of Jim Jones and David Koresh being two rather grizzly examples. If you are seeking the Kingdom of Heaven first, as Yah'shua (Jesus) commanded, you had better first of all find out just what that kingdom is.

    The Kingdom is not your private denomination, ministry, church, assembly or even home. It is the community of the redeemed - the true believers and not the symbolic or counterfeit ones - with a true King - Father Yahweh - who is on the throne of your heart. He is not some abstract theology but a living power whose presence brings forth unmistakable fruits in the believer's life. Seeking this Kingdom with all the passion of your soul must take place, and be in place and steadily maturing, LONG before you even dream of polygamy. Whilst Yahweh accepts anyone who is truly repentant, we should not be pursuing the theocratic mandate after we have entered polygamy but LONG BEFORE. My message to the Christian/Messianic world, which Yahweh has committed to me, is that polygamy is a calling to those who are already faithful stewards in the Kingdom, who have demonstrated CONSTANCY, OBEDIENCE, HUMILITY, REPENTANCE, RESPONSIBILITY, INDUSTRIOUSNESS and A LOVING HEART. For anyone else, polygamy is invariably a disaster, at least in this first generation of Christian/Messianic polygamists.

    But, of course, there will always be zealots, convinced of their divine call to enter polygamy but utterly blind to their faults and unpreparedness, who will enter it anyway, like the blindfolded entering a minefield, and will drag their victim-wives behind them. I have met many of these types ... far too many. They are convinced they are 'destined to lead' but have no concept of humble service as lowly deacons, which is the first and only constant office that we all have. And they will grow up into haughty and arrogant 'macho-patriarchs' convinced, like Mormons and others, they are 'one-and-onlyers'. They may, if they are intelligent, even establish churches or communities based on their twisted beliefs - we are seeing them arise in our midst already. There is no shortage of would-be polygamist kings but precious few deacons. Beware of such! They are the Koresh's and Jones' of tomorrow. And they will grow old, people will look up to them because of their age and silvery hair (always associating age with wisdom - pity they forgot Mao Tsu-Tung and Josef Stalin). There have been generations of fundamentalist polygamous Mormons of this spiritual dye with no shortage of patriarchs who think they are the 'one and only', the apple of Yahweh's eye, the elect ... which they might have been had they abased themselves and not sought thrones of glory and been trapped by priestcraft.

    I suppose what concerns me is that people never lose sight of the true and worthwile goals, and not get seduced by the demon called power. The older you get, the harder it seems to be to repent and change direction, mostly because of pride - the shock that maybe you have been on the wrong track all your life and have to humiliatingly admit that you have been wrong, and make a major change in direction. The old can repent, but, like youth, tend to be rather more dogmatic. The wiser among them do repent. Indeed, repentance is the daily lot of anyone who claims to be a believer, young or old.

    I hope you will prepare for your old age, and the old age of your wives and children after you have gone, remembering that we are entering the times called the 'trouble of Jacob', when the safety nets of the welfare state will no longer be there. And I hope you will consider why you want to enter polygamy, or have entered it and already made committments, and ensure that you are on Yahweh's wavelength. I carry such a heavy burden on my heart, having been given the commission to guide and warn folks interested in this plural marriage principle, knowing of the frightful risks involved, and the drain on soul and capital. When you have seen polygamy as I have far down the line, having lived it for nearly 30 years, you soon realise that the only people who enter it are either those who know how to bear heavy burdens victoriously and joyfully, or those who were fools following the pied pipers of sexual and religious delusion. For the latter, polygamy is not what they remotely dreamed it would be.

    And finally a warning to the women who feel they are called into this principle. If you are called, and there is no doubt about that, and honouring Yahweh is your overwhelming reason for doing so, then Yahweh bless you. But if you have simply fallen in love with a married man and your primary moving force is romance, with religion as a back-up, then flee! (And the same goes for a monogamously married man who falls in love with another woman but who never dreamed of the kingdom-building aspect of polygamy before and who likely will use the latter only as an excuse to justify romantic inclinations - flee!). To fall in love is fine, and good, but make sure that other more important things are in place first before you start aspiring for polygamous marriage. If you're a woman who sees polygamy as an 'easier way out' than monogamy in terms of personal security, child-care and domestic responsibility, then again you are seeking a principle for the wrong reasons. The original call of woman is not cancelled by polygamy - it is not an alternative form of feminism as some are advertising it to be in order to pander to public tastes or because career is their god which they feel better able to pursue in a polygamous context as well as raise children. This isn't what polygamy is for even though it may be used for such. Polygamy can be used for all sorts of things but not necessarily what Yahweh had in mind for it. Again, you see, we have to look carefully at our motives!

    Now I know only too well that my vision of polygamy is a threat to 'wannabe' polygamous men and women who have all sorts of personal agendas. I know that echad polygamy is not popular - not because it isn't good, but because it lays the axe to the root of selfish ambition. Echad polygamy is no more or less than the marriage-mirror of full Gospel living. And other kinds of polygamy that exist, and will come into existence, will always reflect the kind of 'Gospel' that individuals want to live, irrespective of whether it is the fullness or not. There are potentially as many shades of polygamy as there are Christian/Messianic denominations, and many polygamists will trumpet that as desirable, claiming that Yahweh is Himself committed to multiple forms of Gospel expression, though forgetting that ultimately there IS only "one Lord, one faith and one baptism" (Ephesians 4:5), and not many varieties of the same. So there will always be many polygamy agendas. The question is: which is the right one?

    First generation patriarchal belief is bound to be composed of a mixture of different types of polygamy to reflect the confusion that has been in the Christian/Messianic world for so long. Many of these models will fall away as unworkable, after the destruction, or spiritual incapacitation, of the people who have tried to practice it. I know of one kind - an ultra-Calvinistic type which denies the place of romance in marriage - which broke up a while back. Worse, the founder left Christianity altogether and now follows a false religion.

    You see, polygamy has a maturing or 'old age' process too. And when it has matured (whatever type it may be) you can see clearly whether it has not worked or not. For true polygamy is a reflection of our union with Yahweh, and if it is not lived properly, it will reflect a defective relationship. Polygamy as such, therefore, is a spotlight on your spiritual life. It reveals whether your 'gospel' works or not. Polygamy may be therefore said to be a kind of SPIRITUAL QUALITY CONTROL of the kind of Gospel life we lead. It reveals the strengths and defects of our spiritual life like nothing else.

    Those who enter old age as 'polyatrics' (my word for a polyagmous geriatric or old polyamist!) and are happy, peaceful and contented, are likely to have discovered the true Yah'shua (Jesus). But if they have been 'biting the bullet' in order to 'make it work' by force of will, they will reveal by their emptiness and unhappiness whether their model of polygamy is what they trumped it up to me ... or what the patriarchs trumped it up to be. True, there may be other reasons for failure in polygamy that are personal, but if everyone is responding negatively in the same way in that circle of polygamy, then there is a pretty good chance, if it's not the flesh, that what's at fault is the religious system.

    Of course, with diminishing sexual needs and capacities that is the lot of old age, one of polygamy's carnal obstacles may, if not dealt with, simply 'drop away' and create the illusion of having 'made it'. I suppose polygamy could become monastic in that respect by choice or necessity. But that should not be the measure of its success or failure to work. I believe that if after 7 years of marriage (for each wife) it still isn't working that there's something seriously wrong that needs to be addressed, which may be the husband's, the wife's, or the religious system's fault. A seven year cycle or review ought to be instituted in polygamous families, in my view, with those families seeking counsel from senior polygamists, male and female.

    May Yahweh guide you in all truth, and His peace abide in you!

    Author: SBSK

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    First created on 11 March 2002
    Updated on 11 March 2016

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