My heart truly goes out to anyone - man or woman - struggling with new ideas that challenge their whole way of being, especially if they have been that way for a good portion of their lives. And yet I do know, bearing affirmative witness along with my wives, that if the change is in the direction of truth, that Yahweh will sustain that change and sanctify you in the process:
"He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbour no wrong and casts no slur on his fellow-man, who despises a vile man but honours those who fear Yahweh, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken" (Psalm 15:2-5, NIV).
The only issue that really needs to be before our eyes when we are confronting a true principle requiring a monumental change in thinking and feeling is whether what we are doing is RIGHT or WRONG. And how can we possibly distinguish between the two? Quite simply by making the Word of Elohim (God) our arbiter, remembering that our conscience is impure and defiled (1 Corinthians 4:4; 8:7, etc.), and that feelings are very rarely a reliable guide of truth. And finally, we must not rely unduly on human reasoning (which, if our heart is impure is just as likely to mislead us) but to trust in what the Elohim (God) actually says (Proverbs 3:5).
So, for example, if the Bible says that Yahweh gave David his wives (2 Samuel 12:8), then there is no way that you can argue that (a) polygamy is a sin or (b) Yahweh disapproved of it but just 'tolerated' it because of the "hardness of men's hearts". The only way you can dismiss passages like this is to either accuse Yahweh of being sinful (Yah forbid!) or concluding that the passage in question (and therefore potentially any scriptural passage you don't like) as being 'uninspired' or 'tampered with' (usually by 'Catholic priests' ... the Mormon gambit when Biblical passages disagree with their preconceived docrine). One may legitimately challenge a translation by going back to the receptor languages, of course, only in this case there is no dispute as to the meaning of the words - Almighty Yahweh gave King David his wives - as a gift - and would have given him more if this hadn't been enough.
You can try to explain such passages away until you go blue in the face but they remain to challenge and trouble those who do not like the idea that Yahweh approves, sanctions and blesses polygamy. Faced with such scriptures, we are forced to ask ourselves the big question: 'WHY?' It is one thing, you may think, permitting a principle but it is quite another matter to actively encourage it. Why didn't Yahweh redistribute the late King Saul's wives amongst men without wives? Why specifically give them to a King who already had wives? And then we are forced to really think things out to find a divine purpose in polygamy. And this is really what this site is all about - giving the cosmic reasons for this principle.
Well, I know why Yahweh created polygamy even though I did not know at the beginning. Like most people you may simple find yourself confonted with the facts of Yahweh's revelation and simply can't run away from them. That is how most of us start. Understanding the 'why's' and 'wherefore's' usually comes later after much inner struggling and searching. We have to begin with raw FAITH. And if you try to find the answers without faith, then I guarantee you won't because no man is justified by Yahweh without faith. If we seek reasons before exercising faith we are in fact sign-seeking, a sin which Yahweh says He never justifies. We must simply trust what Yahweh says, reach out in faith, and let Him explain as we live in that faith. That is how I got my answers ... by actually living the principle. That is the only way to ever understand any godly principle -- to really understand it, I mean.
I have spent a great deal of time in my writings sharing with the world what I have discovered about this principle. I have been blessed with an understanding of this profound mystery and I am still learning. But if you come to my writings and digest the many in-depth articles on polygamy yet do not believe the basic fact of polygamy, you will never understand. Indeed, your conscience will trouble you all the more. "Man is justified by trust and not by Ma'aseh haTorah (works of the Law)" (Romans 3:28, HRV). "The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1:17; Galatians 3:11, KJV). "Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him" (Hebrews 10:38, KJV).
For those of you struggling with polygamy, the only way for you to find rest in your souls is simply to trust Yahweh at His Word - just believe what He says and pray the prayer of the father of a boy possessed of a dumb spirit: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24, KJV).
Listen to those words again: ""I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"" (Ibid., NIV). It sounds almost a contradiction, doesn't it? How can a man say he believes and yet at the same time ask Yahweh to help him overcome his unbelief? The answer lies in the fact that we are dual beings with a spiritual nature and a fleshy nature. The fact that the spirit believes doesn't mean that the flesh believes. The flesh, by definition, is unbelief! The flesh trusts in what it can see and touch, but the spirit trusts in the unseen and untouchable. The issue that faces us is whether our spirit will believe or not. If we will trust with our spirit, then we must engage in inner warfare for our flesh is an enemy to all righteousness ... to all that which is right. In addition to this, there are unseen spiritual powers who oppose all truth and who are the ultimate enemy (Ephesians 6:12). Yah'shua (Jesus) said: "The Ruach (Spirit) gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life" (John 6:63, NIV). Our impure feelings, unredeemed thoughts, and restless passions "count for nothing" - it is the spirit which gives life through the words which Yahweh has spoken.
If you look at all the reasons that people throw up against polygamy they are ultimately flesh-based. And so it actually troubles me when Christian/Messianic polygamists defend their beliefs by citing the need to take care of abandoned single mothers, the surplass of women in some societies (like Canada), and so forth. These are all legitimate fleshy arguments but they are not the principle justification for polygamy, which is spiritual. Helping abandoned mothers and single women destined to prostitution, a permissive liferstyle, or a life of singleness does nothing to answer the legitimate questions a first wife may have - such may appeal to her sense of virtue in helping others (which is right) but she must have some sort of spiritual understanding of what it's actually all about otherwise she will only ever see it as a temporary expedient to meet a present need. And because it will only ever therefore be seen as a temporary expedient - to be replaced by monogamy (or singleness) in a better world - why, then, should she be called to live the principle in any other way than one who has to 'sacrifice' for the benefit of less fortunate women? You can explain to her many temporal blessings that accrue from polygamy but unless you can address the spiritual 'need', there is always going to be a question-mark in her mind - there will always be an element of doubt. And doubt, as we all know, does not lead ultimately to good.
The revelation that Yahweh has given to me, which in truth is no more than digging out what is already in the Bible for those willing to exercise their spiritual muscles a bit, is that polygamy is the unifying principle that is built into everything. It is not a question of living something 'abnormal' or 'unusual' in order to help out the misfortunates and rejects of society (even though that is a secondary blessing of polygamy) but a question of returning to that which is 'normal' as far as heaven is concerned. The return to polygamy is the return to living the way we were created. Living polygamy is to come to the fullness of human expression and to find the fullness of human love. Returning to polygamy (in the fullest meaning of the word) is returning to spiritual normality (as opposed to the 'natural' way of the flesh).
Lest I be misunderstood, may I underline in thick black ink that by 'returning to polygamy' I do not just mean that a man takes some more wives and carries on as before. Returning to polygamy means nothing less that than embracing the whole paradigm of polygamy which includes the way we worship Yahweh, the way we fellowship with other believers, the way we share, and the whole way in which we follow a program of discipleship. Polygamy is not just about adding women to a marriage - polygamy is a whole way of Christian life, from alef to taw, alpha to omega.
When Yahweh gave David his original seven plural wives it was not simply for his own benefit but for the whole benefit of the nation. His polygamous family was supposed to be a model of national and spiritual unity. The harmonious relations between himself, his wives and his children (ruined only by his adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband Uriah) was supposed to reflect the people's submission to his throne and their collective submission to Yahweh and His Torah (Law). He was given Saul's wives because he was their KING and REPRESENTATIVE. The transfer of wives from the dead, unrighteous king was supposed, amongst other things, to symbolise the change of allegiance that we as allegorical wives of Christ are supposed to make in abandoning dead elohim (gods) for the Living Elohim (God). David was given Saul's wives because (at that time, before the Uriah débâcle) David, who was in Yahweh's will, represented Yahweh's Life, and that is where they, the wives, should obtain their life. Similarly, when we repent from dead works and place out faith in Yahweh, we are removed from the gods of death and placed within the allegorical marriage of Christ where we obtain Eternal Life. The wives of Saul had been marked by Yahweh to be the wives of a King - that was their calling - and when he fell, they were given to be the wives of a King who would be faithful to his call .... until he too fell, and lost them.
As we look at this very clear model we understand that polygamy is a deadly serious business. It is 'deadly' when it goes wrong, but it is life-giving and divinely approved when lived according to Yahweh's intent. Polygamy has a purpose - a very holy and sacred purpose. It does not exist to take care of spinsters and abandoned mothers (though it does this in a round about sort of way) but to exemplify and incarnate the divine life. Polygamy is the way that the Most High is, and living it is to draw closer to Him and to understand Him.
It is perhaps hard for those faced with the daily domestic challenges of a polygamous lifestyle - especially if they are new to it - to appreciate the deeper mystery of it all, but that will laregly be a function of one's spiritual connectivity. If the husband and wives are linked to Yahweh through Christ as they should be, then they will come to this oneness all the more readily through their polygamy. Like all worthy and lofty goals, polygamy is not without its struggles, as we know. It is not a blessing handed out on a silver tray but a promise conditionally fulfilled upon obedience to a whole range of commandments. Polygamy is Royal Marriage and it is the privilege and blessing of Royal Priesthood. Polygamy is the way of Kings and Queens who are prepared to work themselves up from the bottom by starting as humble house servants and maids. It isn't something you are born into any more than a champion athlete is born in tip-top condition. It is something you must grow into first, by faith, and second, by shere hard work and determination. If you lack either of these, then something isn't quite right in your understanding, or practice, of the Christian/Messianic Way.
Like it or not, the Gospel of Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) is about multiplication and fruitfulness. The Parable of the Talents taught by the Saviour (Matthew 25:14ff.) was supposed to make us realise that this life was not given for idleness but active service. Our talents aren't given for the gratification of personal ambition but are stewardships meeted out for the sole purpose of bringing to pass the Kingdom of Elohim (God) on earth per pro the Lord's Prayer: "Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is is in heaven". Our gifts or talents are Kingdom-building tools. And the Kingdom begins at home, in the family. He who is given one wife and neglects her will, in the end, have her taken away from him, whereas the man who builds up and edifies his wife in the way that Yahweh intended will be given more wives. And the one who neglects his wife so that she spiritually stagnates will lose that wife and it will be given to the one with many where she may thrive and be fruitful herself.
This is the underlying principle of growth and multiplication in Elohim's (God's) Word: "but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him" (Hebrews 10:38, KJV). Men, if Yahweh has called you into polygamy, it isn't to serve your self-interests but the interests of your wives and your King, Yahweh-Elohim! You will be blessed for blessing them, and that spiritual blessing will come from Yahweh Himself. Yes, your wives will bless you in their turn, but not in the same way. Yahweh blesses women through their polygamous husband whose rôle is to lead them in all righteousness, but the man's spiritual blessings come directly from Yahweh Himself. That is the divine tavnith or pattern of heaven. I didn't invent it or will it, it just is. And foolish are we if we try to establish Yahweh's agenda on our own premises, for Yahweh will not be controlled by anyone.
If men and women will approach polygamy from this perspective and understanding, they will be less troubled by the flesh-defiled thoughts and feelings of their souls. And if a wife can see that this is genuinely where her husband is coming from - that he seeks only to honour Yahweh by buidling His Kingdom on earth - she will the more readily trust in Him. My wives trust me because they know that I am not into polygamy for myself but because I passionately believe this is the Kingdom-Way. They trust me because I do not rely on them for my fulfilment but on Yahweh even though they do indeed being me fulfilment as Yahweh acts on them. In the end, it is "All for Christ, and Christ for All" - and if ever I were to invent a motto for polygamy, I think this would be it