One of the commonest objections I hear from people (especially women) when I get involved in discussions about polygyny is that it isn't 'natural'. And what usually surprises my anti-polygamist antagonists is that I agree with them. Yes, polygamy is unnatural ... but only from the point-of-view of the carnal man..
Another reaction I often get - this time from men - when discussing polygamy, is a kind of gargoyl gloating as though they have stumbled upon the the fulfilment of their dream-fantasy of having lots of women to take their Casanova-like pleasure with. They congratulate me heartily until I tell them to spare their congratulations because I tell them they are the last people on earth who are suited to live this lifestyle. They usually leave chastened and angry.
The carnal man's view of polygamy
Finally, there are those who say that polygyny is 'sexist' (discrimination against, and oppression of, women), and they (usually women) are surprised when I agree with them ... until I point out that it is sexist against men too, since by the same criteria of 'discrimination' and 'oppression' as polygamy it 'forces' more responsibility and hard work on them whilst giving the women less responsibility and hard work. Unfair! I cry, with a wry look on my face.
I have titled this essay Fallacies and Myths of the Monogamy-Only Syndrome because I believe this mindframe to be a psychological malady. I must underline the fact that monogamy itself is not an illness (Yah forbid!), only the monogamy-only mindset, just as we believe the King James Bible-Only position is a spiritual illness belonging to cultism (but not the wonderful KJV Bible itself, Yah forbid!). For this reason I have no hesitation speaking of the MONOGAMY-ONLY CULT. Whatever is spiritually unnatural must ultimately be cultic in its nature.
I suppose you're wondering what I'm going to do with this hot potato I've boiled and are probably thinking I'm going to burn my fingers. Well, let's see.
All the bad things that people say about polygyny are absolutely true from one particular point-of-view. I look at many polygamous marriages and I recoil in as much horror as the anti-polygamists do. But there's another point-of-view that cannot be ignored and which I intend to force out into the open.
When talking with those who do not believe the Bible to be the Word of Elohim (God) I must, of course, take a different approach, and that is simply to bring them to a position of 'agreeing to disagree', hopefully in a spirit of mutual respect and understanding. And I do understand the monogamy-only mindset very well. I understand all the arguments, all the in's and out's of their polemic. And I hope that the monogamy-only people understand that. What these people have to realise, however, is that unless you come from identical world-views with a common paradigm and a shared set of assumptions about the purpose of life, you can never come to agreement. Learing to live with others who have different opinions to yourself is one of the signs of spiritual maturity and civilization, no matter how violently you may disagree with your opponent's position. If we are wise we must simply learn to live with the fact that there are some things in this world that we can never change except by violence, and that when we resort to the latter - whether mentally or physically - we are are sending a clear signal that the end of civilization is at hand. There will always be mental fascists/bolsheviks - small-minded people who, when defeated or stalemated, always resort to intimidation in order to try and force their way on others. And I include in this group of ignobles both non-Christians who resort to foul language when they are defeated in debate and so-called 'Christians' and 'Messianics' who, when they have run out of arguments, simply threaten their opponents with 'hell'. I have no time for either of them.
For my approach to non-Christians, please see Objections to Polygamy: The Secular Viewpoint.
But when it comes to Bible-believing Christians/Messianics it is an entirely different matter. As Christians/Messianics we have common ground - the Word of Elohim (God), which is our manual of faith (unless you're an Ebionite or some other fringe messianic). We do not need, as with secularists, to argue about ground assumptions, because we already have those: Yahweh is the Boss and His Word is non-negociatable. We may have to dig deep into the original receptor languages, challenge faulty translations, expose the biases of translators and commentators, and so forth, but we cannot run away from what Yahweh has said. We must either agree with Him or seriously question whether we are the Christians/Messianics we thought we were. I for one am learning new things every day from Yahweh's Word and constantly changing my views about subjects I thought I had got all taped up. I have discovered that Yahweh's Word is truly phenomenal, that it is a continuous sourse of revelation that can only be tapped by prayerfully reading, and re-reading it again and again, and - most importantly - LIVING it. You can never get a true perspective of a life principle until you are actually putting it into practice. The Bible is not a theoretician's book - it does not exist for scholarship's sake ... though it is the most theoretical and scholarly work there is.
My wives and I have been doing a lot of thinking about the causes of the monogamy-only syndrome. I am not principally thinking of inherited traditions about marriage, for that is simply an accident as far as the one inheriting it is concerned - my focus is on the monogamy-only persson who sees what the Bible accepts about this subject and then goes into denial. This denial can take place on many levels:
You can probably think of some others.
- (1) denial that the 'interpretation' is right, in spite of the overwhelming evidence, in which case the rules of logic are abandoned completely and the person falls back on feelings alone (a typical carnal feminine response);
- (2) denial that the parts of the Bible that sanction polygamy are from Elohim (God) - the result is first liberalism and ultimately atheism if you take that to its logical conclusion;
- (3) denial that the Bible is equally inspired - that truth is evolving (the result of that is always a form of liberalism which, when taken to its logical conclusion, leades to atheism too because the supernatural is invariably denied);
- (4) denial that key polygamy passages are literal but are only to be understood symbolically.
I will come to the point. The unconscious spiritual reason (quite apart from whatever scriptural arguments they may believe) that women hate polygamy is because it denies them the compulsion of their carnal nature which is to possess their husbands.
I have concluded, after years of study of the female condition, that this is THE ground reason why carnal woman rejects polygamy. It is actually, at root level, an issue of authority. It has got nothing to do with sexism, discrimination, oppression, scriptural exegesis, all of which are manifestations of a rejection of authority, because none of these things are issues in happily married polygamous women. None of my wives consider themselves to be discriminated against or oppressed but will tell you of their own free will, with their hands on their hearts, that of women they are the most liberated. I know this is true because they are such enthusiastic self-motivated evangelists for the principle - they used to have their own independent pro-polygamy homepages, chat rooms, and circle of friends until we decided to pull out of that kind of ministry for the reasons given elsewhere.
The Bible teaches that a woman does not possess or own her husband. She is owned by him. And it teaches that the husband is owned by Christ.
Modern man (and woman) teaches that he owns himself. The pro-abortionist woman not only says 'it's my body' but even claims that the unborn child in her is 'her body' as well. The religion of our age is about self-realisation. Reality, we are told, is personal - it's what inside you. What you do with your own life, the more 'enlightened' claim, is your own business, so long as you don't hurt others (the less 'enlightened' couldn't care a fig about others).
But it's a lie. The Bible teaches no such doctrine. Questions of self-ownership are clearly delineated. Discipleship is about proper submission and obedience in love and humility.
Obviously a polygamous woman cannot 'own' her husband in the same sense that a monogamist woman imagines she can. For the woman who thinks in terms of 'ownership', of course, she will perceive that she has to 'share' more and so 'get less'.
But this is all wrong. It's a fallacious mindframe that does not reflect spiritual reality. The woman who sees with this distorted vision will miss the whole purpose and glory of marriage. Worse, if she is a Christian/Messianic, she will miss the whole point of her faith!
One of the modern heresies that has been growing now for over half a century is the idea that the moment a person trusts in Christ that somehow the Son of Elohim (God) is their privately-owned 'buddy'. Because of the twisted modern secular philosophy of 'equality' (an utter illusion, incidentally) Christians/Messianics have had their mental processes distorted in such a way that they believe (by their actions, if not actually confessed with their mouthes) that Elohim (God) is somehow their 'right-hand man'. It was the Mormon leader Joseph Smith who first (as far as I know) made this bombastic claim in 1844, for he believed that the faithful would become 'gods' like 'God' Himself whom they say was once a 'man'.
Well, Yahweh is no more our 'right-hand man' than a master is the "right-hand man" of a servant. When we profess Yah'shua (Jesus) as our Lord (Master, Commander) and Saviour (Deliverer) we are confessing our utter helplessness and total dependance on Him as sons and daughters. We are not suddenly elevated into equals.
The so-called 'health and wealth' Christians - those who are a part of the heretical 'Prosperity Movement' - constantly speak as though they are kings and queens riding in limosines and have little or no perception of what humble discipleship is.
Whilst it is true that our relationship with Yah'shua (Jesus) progresses and deepens as we become more and more sanctified by the spirit of holiness (which comes through loving obedience), we never become 'pals', 'mates', or 'buddies' in the secular sense. There is a spiritual evolution from 'servants' to 'friends' for those who are faithful and obedient, but the fact that I may be a friend of the King doesn't make me a joint-regent.
The idea that a wife is owned by her husband - that they aren't 'co-owners' of each other - is not liked. It conjures up in their minds the mistaken idea that this is somehow oppressive. Admittedly, if perceived by men in the wrong way, it could (and sadly does) become oppressive, especially when men forget that they don't own themselves! The fact that Christian/Messianic husbands are the property of the Son of Elohim (God) should put pay to all arrogant notions that wives are a man's private property - they aren't! They are his stewardship, given to his care by our Lord, to be loved, discipled, and cherished for ever. That's the big difference.
The moment men and women realise who owns them, then the root objection to polygamy is removed. Indeed, from that moment onward, it becomes possible for the soul to progressively understand that polygyny is, for the Christian/Messianic, the most natural spiritual estate imaginable.
Wrong thinking begets wrong feeling which begets wrong life-styles. Wrong thinking begets spiritual illnesses, of which Monogamy-Only Syndrome is epidemic. The world faces one of the most serious epidemics in its history - an illness which has corrupted the whole moral, ethical and spiritual fabric of Western society, and it's called the Monogamy-Only Syndrome (MOS).
Like the KJV-Only syndrome, which robs Yahweh of His authority and places it in one ancient English translation of the Bible, Monogamy-Only Syndrome (MOS) robs Yahweh of His authority over marriage and places it - ultimately - in the hands of women! MOS is one of the evil fruits of feminism there is, not because monogamy is evil (Yah forbid!) but because its is one of the rungs in the ladder of apostacy that leads, ultimately, to the total dissolution of the nuclear family.
The reason why most of the monogamy-only women in Christendom don't want to acknowledge that polygamy is of Elohim (God) and acceptable in all generations and dispensations, is not because that are afraid they may be forced to practice it, but because it threatens their ill-gotten position in modern society which gives her a controlling influence over her husband. The secular 'word' today is that the modern couple are co-equal in everything and should share everything (except the actual birthing of children ... even though doctors in Japan are tampering with the body so that men can give birth!). The goal of the total abolishment of biblical man-woman rôles is very advanced in western societies and has led, in a major way, to the distengration of order and morals that we see all around us. Instead of looking up the chain of authority from women to men to Yahweh, the modern secular perverts have reversed it entirely so that instead of looking at Yahweh we are looking at WOMEN - today 'God' is being forced (or so they believe) to conform to the image of the non-existent entity called the 'independent woman':
Model A shows the true Patriarchal Model revealed in the Bible. Model B shows the most common average evangelical Protestant model of marriage that obtains in the modern world with man and woman co-equal. And Model C shows what we are heading towards, and which is already a reality in our neo-pagan Western civilization. There are, of course, other models ... other variations of the same theme - e.g. removing 'God' altogether from Model C, for in truth paganism teaches that self is god. And the ultimate goal of the satanic culture is, first, the confusion of genders, and finally the removal of gender altogether, leading to social dysfunction and chaos.
The trend, though, is the complete reversal of Yahweh's ordained order, which is, of course, what Satan wants to do. By placing Yahweh-Elohim at the bottom of (or excluding Him entirely) man's hierarchy of authority, he in effect puts himself at the top. And when the majority of people are exalting self, you have a satanic society.
The Bible predicted this would happen:
My plea is that men and women everywhere repent of their attempt to usurp authority that does not belong to them and acknowledge He who dispenses it in His own infiniate wisdom.
"Say to the righteous that it shall be well with them,
For they shall eat the fruit of their doings.
Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him,
For the reward of his hands shall be given him.
As for My people, children are their oppressors,
And women rule over them.
O My people! Those who lead you cause you to err,
And destroy the way of your paths." (Isaiah 3:10-12, NKJV).