Ask a non-polyagmist why he or she thinks we as a family practice plural marriage and you will probably get many different answers, most of them highly uncomplimentary and hostile, quite a part from being untrue. Rarely, though, do these people bother to find out why Christian/Messianic polygamists enter the lifestyle or what it is that gives them so much satisfaction from it, the men and women alike. In this website we aim to set the record straight and simply inform.
This webpage is not about all polygamists (one man married to several women) worldwide nor is it about all Evangelical Christian or Messianic polygamists who believe in similar or identical things to our family. Just as every individual is unique, so also is every family, monogamist or polygamist. This site is about us - the Królewiec family - and about the theological views and practices of the church/assembly we belong to. We hope it will answer the many questions that are now being asked about this marriage practice as more and more people embrace it. What is it that attracts them? And what especially makes the wives, once they have seen its wonder, its staunchest supporters? And how is it possible that the world - and especially other Christians and Messianics - cannot see the beauty of this biblical practice?
I hope that all of these and other questions will be answered to your satisfaction on this site. Of course, not everyone will necessarily accept our views but hopefully they will go away with a better understanding and greater respect. What more than anything else frightens and upsets people is something new (to them) which they cannot comprehend. It's only as people talk and discuss different concepts that the barriers of hostility start to come down and those like us, who are living what to most is alien to their culture and possibly religion, begin to be understood and accepted a little bit more. Whether you agree with us or not is not so important as whether you are able to 'agree to disagree' in a friendly manner - far better to disagree with mutual respect than to disagree in complete ignorance of one another's positions for this breeds prejudice, hate and (alas, sometimes) a spirit of murder. There will always be people who fit into the category of the latter but as the world becomes more educated as to what Christian/Messianic polygamy actually is this will hopefully diminish.
Actually, our greatest problems come not from those who 'agree to disagree' or even those who are rabidly hostile to us (though the latter can be particularly nasty and cruel sometimes) but with others who practice polygamy for wholly different reasons to ourselves and, because they believe in a system of oppression borrowed from primitive ideas about how marriage ought to be, give us a bad name. This is, unfortunately, inevitable, and not just for us alone - think of all the abuses of monogamy that exist in the world which have led to an attack on the whole principle of marriage itself! So we wish to state from the beginning: please do not judge us on the basis of the abuse of this principle by other polygamists, Christian, Messianic or other.
We hope to imprint on the minds of our readers at this site that the practice of polygyny is beneficial to whatever culture we may come from and is protective of the FAMILY. For Westerners, who know only monogamy, this statement may be greeted with disbelief. However, it is a fact that there is an imbalance in the genders with women slightly outnumbering men (a position made worse by war and crime) so that the surplass of women in a monogamy-only culture are either forced to turn to prostitution, stay single, or hop from one man to the next in the hope of finding a stable relationship. Add to this the fact that with the high divorce rates (with over half of all marriages failing in some parts of the world) alone mothers with children tend not to rank as highly in the marriage stakes as those who have none. Polygamy offers society a solution to all these problems if approached correctly.
It is assumed, quite wrongly, that polygamy is 'unnatural' so that even if we are convinced by the arguments of pro-polygamy sociologists we face the real hurdle of convincing people that they will benefit from plural marriage. There is a myth in the minds of most that polygamy is something 'terrible' for women and an excuse for 'promiscuity' for men. It is assumed that polygamy is pro-men and anti-women. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Firstly, for the women who have experienced this principle with righteous men and loving co-wives there is no other principle they would rather live. Secondly, promiscuous men will be utterly repelled by the responsibilities that polygamy demands of them and would rather be Cassanovas wandering from one woman's bed to another without any sort of committment. Thus polygamy attracts a rather special (if tiny at present) segment of society. What is it that is 'special' about these people?
For one thing, they're people who enjoy a challenge and hard work. They're people for whom building relationships is very important. Moreover, they are invariably people with deep committment which is what makes polygamy, when lived properly, one of the most stable marriage practices ever. In a world where the institution of marriage is in increasingly bad shape, where conventional monogamy offers you a 50:50 chance of success or failure, people are naturally worried and looking at the odds. And when you look at 'common law' marriages, where the chances of success are very small with as high as a 70-80% failure rate, it is no wonder that people are looking for alternatives.
I must hasten to add here that the fault is not with monogamy per se. There is nothing wrong with monogamy at all and for the majority of the world's population it is clearly the only and best option. We are not against monogamy at all for that is how many of us (all the men and many of the women) started married life. The fault is with declining morals caused by rebellion against Yahweh.
I do not believe that polygamy started becoming public with people suddenly taking an interest in it in the mid 1990's for no reason at all. Doubtless people will give different reasons for its sudden ascendancy. Secular sociologists educated to the true facts of the principle will conclude that this is simply a reaction by family-orientated people towards recovering the institution of marriage by a method which, proportionally speaking, is more stable and secure than conventional monogamy. And there would be an element of truth in this proposition. Even Christians, not wholly convinced of the principle, have their 'ideas', one of which is that it is an 'inferior' marriage practice which Yahweh is reinstituting temporarily so that Christians can more successfully evangelise non-Christian societies where polygamy has been well established for millennia. This position we utterly reject for reasons you will find out in the next and succeeding articles.
Polygamy as an alternative to monogamy in the West is destined to grow from now on. With the monogamy-only culture almost completely undermined by secular and religious liberalism and feminism, polygamy is certain to stay. And though conservatives within Christendom will fight to restore the monogamy-only Christian society they can never succeed save in a political relationship - short-lived conservative/fascist dictatorships. This is not to say there is anything wrong with being a 'conservative' so long as one is seeking to conserve that which is true - but it is to condemn an attitude which, though it certainly had its place and use historically, existed only permissively in Yahweh's will to allow the complete restoration of Remnant - the assembly of true believers of Christ everywhere.
In case there is any misunderstanding, and to underline any dishonest propaganda by the monogamy-only and polygamy-inferior camps, I wish to state that we are NOT 'polygamy-only'. Absolutely not. From the point-of-view of statistics, no more than 15% of the world's population could ever possibly sustain this lifestyle if we are to ensure that every man and woman on this planet has a mate. And as a Christian who believes in the divine origin and purpose of marriage, which is to meet man's deepest need for companionship and love, I must say that I am a pro-monogamy-polygamist who loves and supports pro-polygamy monogamists and who would desperately love to see anti-polygamy monogamists come to understand the greater purpose of Yahweh's plan for all of us. We want to see monogamists happy with their monogamy and accepting polygamists, and polygamists happy living their lifestyle in the best possible way
I pray that these articles will therefore be enlightening to you and give you a vision of something very precious and beautiful that was created to bless all mankind.