Understanding the True
Origins of Mormonism
The Incredible Story of a Race of Celestial Beings
that once Came to the Earth...
by Clare Gregory
Chapter 3
My Experience
Over the past 20 years I’ve had dreams, visions, revelations, and
spiritual experiences that have caused my mind to change about Mormonism.
There was a period of time during my darkest trials that ministering
spirits came to me about every two months, and they would put their hands
on my head and bless me. The Holy Spirit would completely flood my being
with calmness and peace so that I could contend with the evil forces that
were out to destroy me. It felt like warm water was flowing from the top
of my head to the tips of my fingertips and toes as the holy element
passed from their fingertips into my soul. This has happened many times
in my life. I stopped counting after a while. During my time in
Mormonism I naturally assumed that the Church was true and that I would
never leave. I had no idea that these spirits and the thoughts in me
would lead me out of Mormonism. But now I’m out I’m still pretty much
following the same Holy Spirit that I was under in the LDS Church, except
that the internal conflict of my pride is much alleviated, and my feelings
are much more stable and calm. My head is much closer to my heart.
Finally, I am one. The New Covenant Church of God and Olive Branch are
under the same Light of the angels that have blessed me, and I believe
they are both from the Lord.
The conflict from the beginning between God and Satan is a fight between
grace and agency. Satan worships his agency and ability to choose,
refusing to believe in the grace of God. And God loves all his children
by His matchless grace, and He saves anyone who will trust Him and believe
His Word. My understanding of the war in heaven has completely
flip-flopped from Mormonism. I’ve chosen to believe in Paul’s teachings:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves. It
is a gift from God. Not of works lest any many should boast.” (Ephesians
2:8-9.)
The Bible
When approach Joseph Smith’s false views, I’m coming from the perspective
of personal experience with false light and pride. I’m not reading
volumes of resource materials to understand the man. I’m using the Bible
and the Holy Spirit, and claim I have experienced the source of many of
his false revelations that nearly destroyed me. If you fail to duplicate
my experiences, you will not completely understand my viewpoint. I have
learned from frightening experiences of being trapped by false powers to
trust THE BIBLE as the standard for my belief. Yes, revelation can and
will come to us through faith. But if I receive an impression or
revelation that contradicts the Bible, or that discredits it, or that
leads me away from it, then I will not believe in that revelation nor act
upon it. I will lay it aside and wait for time prove its truthfulness or
not. But I will resist being moved. It is best to stand upon the Bible
first, and all other revelations second. This is different than
Mormonism’s view of revelation that treats the Modern Prophets as having
greater weight than the dead ones. Joseph Smith introduced the idea when
he reasoned that Noah had a specific revelation for his day, and Joseph
Smith had what God wanted for us here and now. And that sounds valid, but
Noah never contradicted the prophets that lived before him, such as Adam.
And that’s the difference with Mormonism.
No revelation should contradict the prior prophets but should be in
complete harmony with prior revelation, thus bringing the Word to a
wholeness of thought, integrated and non-contradictory. I have found that
this viewpoint has brought a thousand times more stability into my life
than trusting in “the priesthood” that can change with the viewpoint of
each leader. And if we believe Joseph Smith, he taught the living oracles
of the priesthood took precedence over the written Word of God.
Obviously, it is assumed that the two will be in harmony. But I’ve
learned from experience the assumption is not true, but that Joseph Smith
and other prophets taught principles that were not in harmony with the
Bible.
Indeed, this is a fundamental issue with God and Mormonism, and the issue
is the Bible. There is only one of two positions a person can take
regarding the Bible and Mormonism:
Either:
1) The Bible is 99.5% reliable. God is smart enough to give his children a
Bible that contains what is needed for salvation. He’s smarter than Satan
and the unethical priests who had control of the Bible manuscripts for
centuries. He’s powerful enough to ensure the Bible can be depended upon
and that God can speak to us through His Holy Spirit by reading it.
Or:
2) The Bible has significant errors that have led men to apostasy from the
truth. God was not smart enough nor more powerful than the devil to get
the Bible right the first time, and therefore, Joseph Smith was needed to
correct the errors and bring mankind to the Light that had been lost
through “corrupt translators” and centuries of total apostasy. If Joseph
Smith’s teaching contradicts the Bible as written, then (1) Joseph’s
teaching is a deeper mystery that only those who are ready can truly
accept. (2) Many plain and precious things have been taken from the
Bible, causing all the religious problems of the day.
Therefore, we are left with one of two choices: Either we accept the
Bible’s testimony or we accept the testimony of ONE MAN—Joseph Smith.
Mormonism provides evidence through a testimony process that promises
“knowledge” of a “one true church”, which is very attractive. However, if
you present the “testimony” and “witness” argument to me, saying, “I know
the church is true because I prayed and felt the Holy Spirit! So I trust
God, the Book of Mormon, and Joseph Smith above the Bible’s translation
errors and omissions,” then I’ll say: “Fine. I accept that viewpoint.
What specific TRUTH did God teach you through the Holy Spirit? That
revelation doesn’t mean the LDS Church is the only true Church. False
angels mixed the truth with many errors. God is bound by law to support
the truth, wherever it is found. God’s will for you to be in the LDS
Church doesn’t make it the only true Church. Therefore, the testimony of
truths learned in the Book of Mormon or elsewhere in Mormonism proves
nothing about the LDS Church being true.”
But if you say God told you specifically: “The LDS Church is the only true
Church or that the LDS priesthood is from God,” then I’ll say: “You have
been deceived by your feelings because I have forty experiences with
angels and ministering spirits. Many dreams and revelations that have
taught me that the LDS religion is only half-true. My testimony conflicts
with yours. One of us is being deceived by our feelings, and I don’t
believe it’s me.”
Next, I will teach you how a person can be easily deceived by false
assumptions if they are not careful when “praying” for a testimony. I
have posted the false “prayer and testimony” process of the LDS Church.
Have you prayed with all your heart as a Mormon that false angels and
false spirits don’t deceive you? Have you followed the Lord’s prayer
pattern: “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”? Or have
you followed ONLY the LDS pattern: “Tell me the truth, Lord. Is the Book
of Mormon True? Is the Church True? God, do you tell the truth?” Have
you learned to “claim the blood of Jesus” in your prayers to protect you
against false spirits and deception? I have done this for years, and I
believe I’ve been protected against deception. Indeed, I’ve had to
confront and overcome false forces buried in the LDS theology, and God has
been faithful in answering my prayers. I am free. Praise Jesus. He is
true to His Word and to the prayer pattern He taught.
I have sacrificed my all for the truth, and I have no biases in terms of
family or friends that will taint my mind regarding the LDS Church. Have
you stripped yourself of all biases in your mind so that you can examine
the words that are written on a page without concluding they are false
just because they go against “the LDS church is true” viewpoint? Or, do
you make snap judgments: “That is false because the Church is true and
this idea contradicts its teachings. It’s a lie from hell.” Such
thinking is all built on an ASSUMPTION that the Church is true, may I
point out, and it is an automatic reaction of the mind being already
programmed with the thought: “I KNOW the LDS Church is true.” If the
mind is programmed to believe that “it knows” something it true, and
believes it, it will filter ALL INFORMATION through that belief. Why?
Because you have made a firm decision to believe that way, and therefore,
the mind is bound by contract to support your own decision. It’s the way
the mind operates.
So if you tell me about testimony, I have my own experience that
contradicts yours. But I have much, much more. I have facts and evidence
on my side, and you don’t. You have no other evidence but your own
feelings and the feelings of others. Show me the evidence that is to
change my mind off the strength of my own testimony and having more than
40 different experiences with ministering spirits. And you question that
these were false or delusional? Well, then I’ll ask you the same about
Joseph Smith. Maybe he was delusional. Who’s got the truth? Me or him?
And my answer? I stand on the Bible, not my supernatural experience. I
stand on belief, not knowledge. Mormons do not. They stand on the
supernatural experience, converting feelings into “I know”, and that is
not belief. It programs the mind with a subtle pride that they are right
and anything contradicting the Church is false. It MUST be false, the
mind reasons. The Church is true. It’s a forced conclusion.
You see, it is the devil who believes in agency and knowledge, for these
give us power. But God teaches love and faith. He wants us to trust in
something we can not see. And this is the crux of the conflict since the
day the devil rose up in rebellion against God.
So, now I’m content not to “know”, but to only believe. I’m content not
to pound on myself to obtain the sacred secrets of God, but am happy and
pleased if God’s grace chooses to blow the wind of mysteries on my mind to
feed my soul. I simply ask for my daily spiritual bread, and I let God
prepare the meal he chooses to serve me, according to my faith.
Although my belief in God is sufficient for my salvation, and such can NOT
be proven to be true, we can prove by knowledge, facts, and evidence
something is NOT TRUE. When the world was believed to be flat, it could
not be proven to be true. The Bible said the earth had “four corners”,
and so, the people believed the Bible taught the earth was a flat plane.
God certainly doesn’t lie, it was reasoned. But no one could prove this
to be true from the Bible. However, through tangible evidence we learned
the earth is NOT flat. It is round.
The same is true of Mormonism. The truth can not be proven to be true,
but only by faith and the Holy Spirit can we understand God. But some
claims of Mormonism can be proven to be false. And it is through this
process of examination that I finally was led to the truth that Mormonism
is a half-true religion. And it is through these two processes we grow:
1) confirming truth and 2) exposing error by contradiction and logic. The
most difficult challenge is in sorting through false concepts we believe
are true, but which evidences forces us to change. This can be heart
wrenching and troubling, but is necessary for us to grow in grace.
Many factors led to my exit from Mormonism. But it wasn’t the testimony
of truth. Rather, it was the evidence of contradiction that forced me to
change my viewpoints. Today, the two major facts that I rest my LDS
belief upon is my understanding of the First Vision and the evidence I
discovered that suggests false angels can materialize. I’m always
open-minded, and if further facts were presented to change my views about
Mormonism, I would. For my foundation is on “belief” and “assumptions”
I’ve made, not “knowledge”. For I believe this open attitude toward the
Word of God is the kind that is needed to be tutored by the Holy Spirit.
An open mind is required. In the end, what I believe about the truth and
what is the truth are two different things. I only sincerely hope I’m
close to understanding and seeing the truth as it is. Nevertheless, I
understand that the spiritual growth process requires changing our
viewpoint more than once. Children constantly need new clothes as the
physical body grow bigger. We too grow spiritually, and we rearrange our
mental and spiritual clothes in the process. There comes a time when we
realize that what we believed doesn’t fit us anymore, and we must change
our minds to fit the new facts we have discovered. We must be humble as
children and accept the change as the Lord tutors us, or we may become
strangled by concepts that no longer apply to our level of
understanding. We grow out of old models and must change to the new.
Jesus taught that we don’t put a patch on a ripped garment, or it just
makes it worse. We replace the garment instead.
The First Vision
There are many facts that can prove the LDS Church is half-true, but I
stand on just two. The first fact is that the 1838 First Vision story of
Joseph Smith contradicts the D&C and Book of Mormon. Consider the
following scriptures to Joseph Smith’s 1838 first vision account. (See
Appendix for full account.):
“And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is
the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil;
wherefore, whoso belongeth not the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to
that great church, which is the mother of abominations; and she is the
whore of all the earth” (1Ne 14:10)
“Behold, this is my doctrine—whosoever repenteth and cometh unto me, the
same is my church. Whosover delcareth more or less than this, the same
is not of me, but is against me; therefore he is not of my church. And
now, whosoever is of my church, and endureth of my church to the end, him
will I establish upon my rock, and the gates of hell shall not prevail
against them.” (D&C 10:67-69.)
“Contend against NO CHURCH, save it be the Church of the devil.” (D&C
18:20.)
In the 1838 First Vision, God told Joseph Smith that all other churches
were wrong. If true, we must find a way to fit the three above scriptures
together to make a coherent explanation that matches the First Vision
Story, right? For example, 1 Nephi 14:10 teaches there are “save TWO
churches only”. If true, then the LDS Church must be the church of the
Lamb of God, and ALL OTHER CHURCES are of the church of the devil. This
MUST be the correct interpretation of 1 Nephi 14:10. If this is true,
then we must look for the distinguishing factor that separates the LDS
Church from all others churches. Why is the LDS Church true and all
others false? It can not be the doctrine of Godhead, for there are other
Churches that believe as the Mormons do. It’s not the believing in twelve
apostles, for other churches believe in apostles. It’s not the belief in
the Book of Mormon, because there are over 100 different denominations
within the LDS religion that believe in the book. So what is the one
principle that makes the LDS true or false? I believe it is the LDS
priesthood. That is the ONLY principle in the LDS kingdom that is truly
different than all the other Churches. (However, this LDS authority is
debated among many splinter groups of Mormonism.)
If the Church of Jesus Christ is defined by the LDS priesthood, then D&C
10:67-69 is in conflict: “Whoso repenteth and cometh unto me” applies to
more people than just the Latter-day Saints, right? All True Christians
love the Lord, feel the Holy Spirit, and see miracles operate through
prayer and faith. Are all these Christian prayers being answered by the
devil? If these good Christians are in the kingdom of the devil, how do
we answer this question truthfully without our brains spewing out smoke?
How can we truly believe that there are only two churches on earth defined
in this manner? And yet, if we are LDS, there is no other logical
option. Either we are saved by the LDS priesthood authority, or we are
not. It is that simple. So, if we are LDS, then we must conclude that
“come unto me” includes the priesthood, otherwise the 1838 First Vision
story of Joseph Smith is false. For God said all other churches were
“wrong”. And finally, if this is true, and God’s true church is for those
who repent and “come to Christ” through the LDS priesthood, then the last
scripture, D&C 18:20, makes no sense at all. Unless we make an unnatural
sounding interpretation, as follows: “Contend against no other Latter-day
Saint congregation or ‘church’, but only against all other religions on
earth, for they are the church of the devil.”
This understanding puts 10 million members in the “true church” and
condemns all others as belonging to the “church of the devil”. Until
everyone else repents and turns to Jesus Christ and his priesthood, they
will be forever limited in their relationship with God. Is this really
true? Is God so narrow-minded? Is the LDS priesthood authority this
important to God? A Latter-day Saint must respond unequivocally, “Yes!
It is that important! But God is not narrow-minded. Man is. Man has
rejected God and his priesthood since the beginning of time. It’s not
God’s fault! So the blame is on man!” If the 1838 First Vision Story
and the three scriptures above are truly from God, then a Latter-day Saint
must accept the saving powers of the priesthood. There is no middle
ground. And at the time, I could think of no other possible
interpretation of these three scriptures if we assume the 1838 First
Vision is true.
For me, when I saw this truth, I had to question my assumptions.
Something was not right. My brain kept frying when I saw good sincere
Christians pray to God and get answers. How can all of these good people
who believe in Jesus Christ truly be part of the kingdom of the devil? Is
this really true?
And so I wondered…
A Revelation
And then one day the Holy Spirit told me that 1 Nephi 10:14 is true. I
saw in a flash of light that there are save only two churches. Then I saw
D&C 10:67-69 fit perfectly. The true church of God is Jesus Christ
Himself. Jesus Christ chooses to distribute Himself to believers by the
Holy Spirit of God. No matter where we fellowship, all eternal truth
belongs to God and no one else. When we receive Jesus Christ and repent,
we become part of God’s spiritual Church whether we are Mormons, Baptist,
Catholics, Pentecostals, or whatever. The Kingdom of God is in us. It’s
not anywhere else but in our hearts. Finally, I saw in a flash that D&C
18:20 was also true. We should never contend with any church that
professes to be promoting Jesus Christ or God. Rather, we should only
contend with those who openly reject the truth and fight against God,
those who pervert the truth, which is the church of the devil. This
includes those proud Christians or Mormons who twist the Word of God with
the carnal mind. We must contend with those who deceive the True Body of
Christ. The Holy Spirit taught me that the Church of Christ is not in the
LDS priesthood, not in a building, not in Joseph Smith, and not in
Brigham—but True Church is in GOD ALONE. Only God has the absolute truth
and not any man.
If we spent an entire lifetime reading the Bible and serving God, it would
only be a few “cells of truth” compared to the billion trillion cells of
truth distributed through the Universe by the hand of the Almighty God.
God isn’t the one that invented a “true church” concept, but someone else
did. It can not be correct, for churches on earth are made of human
beings with very limited knowledge, and we all make mistakes in
assumptions, judgement, and action—even True Prophets. Therefore, to look
for and believe in an “only true church” does not serve God, but serves
man himself. For rather than exercising the mind to look at all diverse
viewpoints, requiring a difficult personal choice of conscience as to what
is true, man prefers to be told the truth by someone else he can trust,
and believe that person. Man prefers to believe man rather than God.
Why? Because man is of the same species as man, and they can more easily
comprehend each other. And what man trusts is his man-based religion to
tell him the truth about God, whom he does not understand. And if man
trusts in his religion for salvation, rather than God, then the rational
part of him will ask the natural question: “Which religion do I believe
in? Who do I trust for the right answers? Which Church is true?”
But what man fails to consider is how God views man as compared to His
absolute truth. Man fails to comprehend that no religion on earth can
ever have enough truth and power to save even one soul. At best, God
distributes a handful of his truths to lead his children to Him, so that
they will trust Him, and not man. And if a person understands and see his
own nothingness compared to God, then God can save him with His power,
truth, and grace.
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves. It
is a gift of God. Not of works lest any man should boast.” (Eph 2:8-9.)
With this truth firmly in my mind, I looked at the 1838 First Vision story
and concluded that it can not be true as Joseph penned it. There is not a
“one true religion” as Joseph Smith presumed. All religions can lead us
to God. The Body of Christ, or His True Church, is just what it claims to
be—the literal SPIRITUAL BODY of Jesus Christ. Joseph’s vision
contradicted plainly those truths the Holy Spirit taught me from the
Latter-day revelations. But now I had a very difficult question to
answer. God illuminated my mind that the First Vision is false, and yet,
the same God taught me from the scriptures that came from the pen of
Joseph Smith? How can this be? What a contradiction! And thus, my head
boiled over again.
How frustrated I was in the dark! So I simply chose to ignore the truth.
And I accept the First Version by twisting the message. I reasoned that
Joseph Smith heard the Lord say, “all the creeds were an abomination and
that the professors of religion, or the theologians, were corrupt, not the
ministers. Or perhaps the Lord was only referring to the churches and
ministers in his town, not the whole world. That eased my conscience, and
I could live with the twisted scripture, reconciling the contradiction the
best I could. However, it put me in a strange place, for I was out of
step with the mainstream view of all other Latter-day Saints, and it
brought great loneliness.
But I truly could not accept the definition of the Church of Jesus Christ
in terms of the priesthood. Then a brilliant idea hit me. I reasoned that
Christians could be “conceived” by the power of Christ and the Word of God
and live in the “womb” of God alive, but without the priesthood! Then, as
Christians grew in the womb of God, at some point it would be time for
them to be fully “born”, and they would receive the LDS priesthood
ordinances and receive the precious gift of the Holy Ghost. The
Christians simply misunderstood the born again experience with being
conceived. It was too simple. On the other hand, the Mormons
misunderstood the role of Christians, assuming they were not a part of the
Church of Jesus Christ because of the priesthood notion.
Thus, from this I watched God lead me through a process of changing my
mind very gradually, moving me away from the LDS priesthood one step at a
time, until finally, I left it completely. So I defined the Church of
Jesus Christ as all those who were “conceived” by the Word of God, both
Christian and Mormon, and at the same time, I kept the “salvation
requirement” of the LDS priesthood intact. The Lord had revealed to me
the best of both worlds, both Christian and Mormon, and I rejoiced that I
finally could relax about my view of the “True Church” which included all
Christians who believed in Jesus and the LDS Church.
I began smiling again.
Two Personages
Except it truly was an excuse. I wasn’t being honest, nor could I face
the facts of what Joseph Smith really said about the 1838 First Vision.
Joseph Smith claimed he saw two personages, the Father and the Son, and he
defined them in terms of two separate Gods, but having one purpose. This
definition blatantly attacked the Trinity doctrine of Christianity. As a
Mormon I accepted the doctrine of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ being
separate beings much more easily than I did the Trinity. I had been
trained in the LDS Church to see the Trinity as a mass of convoluted
reasoning created by man by the Nicene creed, and the simplistic
definition of the Godhead by Mormonism was easier to comprehend. I could
point to the Bible and quote verses that contradict the Trinity view, such
as the baptism of Jesus in which all three persons---Jesus Christ, the
Father’s voice, and the Holy Spirit---were clearly separated by time and
space. Or there was the stoning of Stephen I could reference: He saw
Jesus “standing on the right hand of God”. Finally, there was Jesus’
prayer to the Father asking that the twelve apostles become “one” as He
and His Father were one.
But as usual, as I thought more deeply about the gospel over many years,
the LDS view I had learned was not the correct way to view God. In the
D&C, I found this scripture: “Man was also in the beginning with God.
Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither
indeed can be.” (D&C 93:29.) Mormon theology believes that God and man are
both eternal and created from the same “intelligence”. But the official
Church position defining “intelligence” states it has not been revealed
yet, so any explanation by man is purely speculation. I saw in a flash
the hypocrisy of my LDS religion, and at the same time, I saw the simple
intention of the Trinity. I could see what the Christians in the early
centuries of the Church were trying to define. The Trinity was an attempt
to define this “intelligence” that the Mormons dare not even touch. And
this intelligence or the “eternal substance” of God is TRULY GOD, not the
resurrected body of God. This intelligence, or God, dwells inside a
resurrected bodily form. Thus I saw the Mormons pounding on the form of
God, while the Christians were defining the substance, and neither was
seeing each point of view, nor caring to understanding the difference, and
in the end both Mormons and Christians throw up their hands and say, “God
is a mystery. He hasn’t revealed himself. We must accept our limited
understanding of God on faith alone.”
Maturity of Joseph Smith
When I saw the Trinity for what it truly is, I was left to question the
spiritual maturity and understanding of Joseph Smith. He taught that the
Father and Son did not dwell in a person’s heart, but that this was an old
sectarian notion and was false. I perceived Joseph looking at a Heavenly
Vision on the outward form of God, and that he concluded that a
“resurrected body” cannot dwell in a person’s heart, which is true. I see
a young man who saw Jesus at 14, and without Bible training in theology,
could not comprehend the deeper substance issues the Trinity tried to
define. The Mormon view is quite simplistic view and the conclusion of a
truly shallow person who missed the substance of God over the form. For
the substance of God, that which the Trinity attempts to define, is the
eternal and unchanging True God. So again, the Christians in my mind won
the debate hands down on the definition of God. As I examined the Bible,
I concluded the substance of God is referenced and discussed much more
than form. For example, God is light, truth, love, Spirit, the way, the
life, and so on. Finally, with this understanding the whole notion of
God being once a man, and man becoming God I viewed as a distortion in
Joseph Smith’s mind, a human error, his carnal mind assuming God was like
a man—for God looked like just like a man on the outside form! I could
reason, then, that only the form or BODY of God changes over time, not His
substance which is eternal and is ONE GOD.
I reasoned that the “First Intelligence” to surface from the pool of
spirit matter was “God”, and that He created all the processes and laws
for all others “intelligences” to follow HIM. This Supreme and Almighty
Intelligence of the Father would be passed on like an eternal “waterfall”
from one God to the next, through Jesus Christ. Joseph taught there were
gods many and lords many. Therefore, a Jesus Christ was appointed for
each Universe and distributed the “Fathers Voice” or this “Supreme
Intelligence” to all who believed in Him. The Father and Son perform
different roles. Jesus has a role of mercy; the Father has a role of
justice. Thus all operated under the perfect order of the priesthood.
For this was the governing power. Those who were First Born Spirits were
by the priesthood called upon to act as a Savior and distribute this
Heavenly Intelligence to all creation. Satan, who was not the First Born,
rebelled against this priesthood order and fell from Heaven. Since it is
presumed that Jesus, Satan, and ourselves are brothers and sisters, it
wasn’t our ability in question, but the priesthood position of Christ that
gave him the Authority to distribute the Supreme Intelligence to others.
No one was permitted to receive this greater Light unless it came through
the distribution point of the First Born, or the Lord and Christ of each
Universe. The Father, who was once a man, learned mercy and perfection
from a Savior like our own Jesus Christ of His world, who received the
Supreme Intelligence passed on from the FIRST GOD, through the First Born
Son. This pattern, then, repeated itself over and over into eternity. The
First Born being a “control point” or “distribution point” of the power of
God, worlds without end.
Thus in my convoluted attempt to understand God in LDS theology, I came
upon a model that fit well into LDS Standard Works and allowed me to
accept the Trinity doctrine in Christianity as an acceptable definition of
the substance of God, although corrupted by mortal minds. I rejected the
viewpoint of Mormonism’s view of two carnal Gods, that it was a foolish
discussion, unimportant and ignores defining God as living inside our
bodily temple. There is only ONE GOD, not THREE, and this is the FIRST
GOD of Intelligence that designed and created all things in the beginning,
and this Intelligence flows like water down a stream to all who will
believe. However, I also saw that the Christians had focused so much on
a substance of God, that they had ignored the form. Therefore, they were
in error claiming that God the Father did not have a resurrected, for
indeed, Joseph Smith saw God’s outer form. But Joseph Smith erred and did
not connect with the Christian’s Trinity, for he himself did not
understand what he saw.
Thus, I reconciled my mind by concluding the mistake was not in the Bible,
it was not in the Trinity, but it was all in Joseph Smith’s mortal mind
trying to understand and explain only what God can truly understand, and
that he plunged the LDS Church into darkness and error. But the more I
learned and concluded, the further I drove a wedge of differences between
myself and both Mormons and Christians, becoming a lonely pioneer in my
search for truth and in understanding the God I love.
Filled with the Spirit
Many more factors were involved in my changing view of God, for other
doctrines melted before the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God,
such as the doctrine of salvation by grace and the entire born again
process. In January, 1998, I had an experience with a ministering
spirit. When I felt his finger tips touch my head, the Holy Spirit fell
upon me and filled my spirit with energy, power, and calmness. I spent
almost six weeks writing a book that solidified my views on Mormonism
under the influence of this Spirit. This spirit allowed me to take both
true and false concepts that existed in my spirit, and put them out in a
format that I could see on paper.
At the time, I believed that the principles were 100% true. But later, I
discovered it was just for my benefit. For as I looked at what I wrote, I
saw in the LDS priesthood concept glaring errors of the truth. I saw in
an instant that a religion that required an external authority combined
with the truth to save us would require a person at times to choose
between external priesthood authority and eternal truth. Which was more
important? At the time I wrote the book, I reasoned, because of the Order
of the Godhead and Firstborn being the Savior by virtue of the Everlasting
Priesthood, I reasoned the external LDS priesthood was more important than
the “concepts” of truth. I reasoned, therefore, if the prophet who held
the priesthood keys ever asked me to lie or go against what I believed was
true in my heart, I would obey the priesthood first, and the truth
second. Five months after writing this convoluted concept, I saw that it
was not true. There can not be two principles that operate this way in
the Kingdom of God. Such would encourage lying, deceit, and trickery if
the LDS priesthood ever fell into the hands of wicked men. I at once saw
Joseph Smith and his struggling with the false priesthood, reasoning that
the priesthood power was more important than the truth itself, and thus
lying about his plural marriages to protect the innocent from turning from
the priesthood and being damned for not understanding the “higher truth”.
I saw Joseph constantly frustrated in the conflict over balancing “truth
and priesthood”. Thus we read statements from Joseph Smith, holding back
truth, revealing only what the people could bear, for fear they would
leave the priesthood power. But such writings come from a person who
views himself as saving people through the priesthood he held, and NOT by
the power and grace of God alone. Therefore, I reasoned the LDS
priesthood must come second to the truth, and again, Joseph Smith made a
bad error in judgement.
Many other things came to me as I wrote my book. I felt very comfortable
with the Christian view that Jesus Christ had truly saved me. But as a
Mormon, I felt alone in my beliefs, since I had no one to fellowship with
in the LDS faith that would even come close to my beliefs. But what I
didn’t understand is that God was truly working the best He could with
what I was given, slowly moving my mind away from Mormonism and its false
priesthood one step at a time. The doctrine of the Godhead I had believed
in and have explained, for example, was close to the truth, but mixed with
a lie. The distribution point of the Voice of the Father is the First
Born, Jesus Christ, and is correct. But the idea that Satan and man are
the spirit brothers of Jesus Christ is false. Man and God did NOT
originate from the same substance nor creation process. This was Satan’s
false presumption in the beginning, not understanding the Spirit and Mind
of God, calling God a liar, and being forced out of Heaven for His
rebellion against God. Like Joseph Smith, Satan saw God and reasoned he
was just like him, and from the same origin. When God told him this was
false, He did not believe Him. It is similar to a Christian telling a
Mormon that God is not like a man and never was, and the Mormons refusing
to comprehend the inner substance of God is light and truth, rather than
just seeing his form.
For one who is born again, the substance of “One God” filling all things
is clear, which substance was sent to earth in the “FORM” of Jesus
Christ. But to a Mormon, such a concept does not make sense. God and
Jesus are exalted men. And thus, the Godhead debate between God and Satan
continues between Christians and Mormons.
If God and Jesus stood before us, Satan would say pointing at the Father’s
body: “See, God looks like a man. We came from the same place.”
And God would say, “No, Satan, what you see is not me. I am the way, the
truth, and the life. I am light and truth and love. I am not my form
that you look upon. I came from a different origin that you did. I
created you, and I am eternal. I fill the immensity of space and am
everywhere and see everything!”
And the devil says, “Not true. I don’t believe it. You are lying because
you are just like me and want to control everyone with your lie! You don’t
really know the future. You manipulate everyone with your mind to
accomplish what you see, just the same way we all think. Your Spirit is
no different than mine. I have just as much right to be God as you do. In
fact, I have a better plan…I will save everyone. Yours does not. .bla,
bla, bla…”
I believe these are the issues fought over in the war of Heaven, rather
than the LDS view. One of the problems with the LDS view is that the
fight over “agency” has no pattern on earth. God claims the devil sought
to “destroy” the agency of man. (Moses 4:1-5.) How was this to be done?
How do you take away someone’s free agency and destroy it? The only way
to do this, I reasoned as a Mormon, is Satan asking God to change the
nature of the human spirit. Law would have to be altered, or agency could
not be destroyed. Thus, since God did not do this, but cast the devil
out, what is the devil fighting over now? What is his paradigm in
Mormonism? He’s just a “cry baby” and “miserable” acting out of revenge?
He’s holding grudges, trying to hurt God’s feelings? This is what
Mormonism leads one to believe. But such is limited, and doesn’t explain
the “two spirits” we see constantly battling on earth today. Mormon’s
argue that Satan tries to “force” us to Heaven, taking away our free
agency. But this is inaccurate, for the idea of “force” on earth by
“beating one into submission” could not have been Satan’s proposal, for
such would require the devil to would NEVER have been a marketable idea in
heaven. Nobody would be that stupid. How do we know this? Because no one
would buy the idea on earth, either. Therefore, there is more evidence on
earth that the LDS view of the “war in heaven” is a lie given to the
Mormons from Lucifer. Lucifer’s plan was defending agency as the source
of salvation, and therefore, Satan is “playing God” in the LDS plan.
Satan switched roles with God. And Satan argued for “agency” to save us
and not the grace of God. Therefore, if you want to understand the
“spirit” behind this debate, it is still going on between Christians and
Mormons. Mormons do not believe the two following simple scriptures:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that
whoso BELIEVETH in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. (John
3:16.) “For by GRACE ye are saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves. It is A GIFT OF GOD. Not of WORKS lest any man should boast.”
(Eph 2:8-9)
True Christians understand the love and grace of God and of receiving the
free gift of eternal life for trusting in the promises of God, of
depending only on the blood of Jesus for justification and salvation.
“God loved us first, so we love him back. The Mormons are caught the
devil’s plan, believing we should be EXALTED by our agency through
obedience to law through faith We are saved by our OWN “UNDERSTANDING”
in our mind, independent of the Holy Spirit. God, on the other hand, has
a mind of His own, and saves us by His grace and Spirit. If Christians
and Mormons agreed, then there would be no debate about works, faith, and
grace.
Thus, Satan was cast out because He could not understand the definition of
who God REALLY is, because He was created from a separate process from God
and Jesus Christ, but he didn’t believe it. Christians have the idea
almost right regarding the substance of God, but the Trinity came from the
mind of man. It is perhaps as close to defining God’s substance as what
human beings can understand, but it is imperfect. On the other hand, the
Mormons are in complete error regarding the Godhead and purpose of life,
following after Satan’s deluded ideas that trapped him in the very
beginning. He assumed that he is equal to God in substance, and thus,
capable and worthy to be the Savior of mankind. He proposed a plan of
“eternal progression” through reincarnation and agency in which not one
soul would be lost. Satan believes as the Mormons do--that belief,
choice, and truth produce the knowledge over time that we need to become
as God is. Mormonism is a slight twist on Satan’s original proposal, thus
eliminating the idea of reincarnation, but leaving “eternal progression”
toward Godhood intact. Such theology, however, DENIES AND CONTRADICTS the
saving love and grace of God. Which is God’s true plan of salvation.
Trusting in GOD ALONE and HIS WORD for our salvation saves us. Thus, the
battle continues today between Christians and Mormons regarding the
principle of salvation by grace or agency (works).
I did not completely disconnect from the Godhead theology of Mormonism
until I left. So, God in his mercy moved me as close to the truth as I
could get, using the Holy Spirit, considering what I was given to work
with. It’s amazing how my mind stretched to fill the void of truth that I
was in. It was like taking silly putting and stretching it over a pattern
of God that fit sixteen patterns, but was missing the table that the
pattern was to rest upon. The Holy Spirit did the best that it could with
the information I was working with, but once I left Mormonism and
discovered Satan’s deluded lie of self-importance and presumptuous
conclusions about his origin being the same as God’s, the Godhead all fell
into place. I simply accept the Bible for what it teaches, and leave the
mystery of the Godhead for God Himself. I accept God as one God, being
the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I don’t need to understand it all,
thank goodness. I just need to trust Him. I can rest. This is critical
to understand what a relief this is for me. Joseph Smith taught that to
understand God, we needed to understand ourselves. He taught literally
that our progression in knowing God literally, was dependent on knowing
ourselves. Actual knowledge of the Character and Attributes of God were
necessary for our exaltation. This put incredible pressure on my mind to
understand the mystery of the Godhead, for such, to know God Himself, was
a prerequisite for salvation. And I believe it. Thus, I’ve demonstrated
here, how I struggled with the concept to understand God, based on the
King Follet discourse and other teachings of Joseph Smith.
Now I find all of this knowledge but dross compared to Excellency of
knowledge found in Jesus Christ, for in Him dwells all the fullness of the
Godhead bodily. And I now understand as a Christian that the purpose of
God appearing in the human form of Jesus Christ is all we need to
comprehend for our salvation. It is better to just accept the Godhead on
faith, and believe in Jesus Christ, that He is God, than to rack our
brains with questions that can never be understood as human beings. I
thank God for moving out of Mormonism and freeing me from the chains of
false doctrine, the false priesthood, and the false temple ceremony, which
is inspired by Satan to deceive the Latter-day Saints into a counterfeit
gospel of Jesus Christ.
Discerning False Angels
I had been prepared for several years for the final move that would take
me out of the LDS faith. The final fundamental paradigm shift occurred in
me when I discovered from sources outside Mormonism that counterfeit
angels can materialize in tangible, bodily form to deceive us. Since D&C
129:4 contradicts this notion, I was either to accept the testimony of
Joseph Smith or the testimony of other witnesses that contradict LDS
theology. For example:
“Whilst lying on my bed one evening I saw what looked like white, shining
particles of dust suddenly collect in front of me to form a dark-haired
man dressed in shining white robes hovering above the floor next to my
bed. He was beautiful to look at but I felt a presence of great evil. I
tried to rebuke him in the Name of Christ and commanded him to depart but
he simply laughed and mocked me. I tried to reach out for my Bible which
lay on my bedside table next to me but he held it down with his hand with
such power that I could not move it. I tried, in my fear, to pray out
loud, but my tongue was bound, enabling me only to gurgle some strained
sounds. Finally, not knowing what else to do, I began to praise the Lord
God of Israel with all my heart. Immediately, the angel moved to the
other side of my bed, and higher off the ground, and although god seemed
far away at the time, the power of the demon was broken and the dark angel
disappeared.” (A Dark Angel by Kari Annette Enger, The New Covenant
Witness, No 56, Sept 1998, pg 9.)
I had the privilege of meeting Kari Enger in person, and I heard her story
with my own ears. Since meeting with Kari, I’ve heard five more personal
stories from first-hand sources of individuals who have had different
experiences with demons who have materialized into our world.
Let me give another example. A tangible false angle identifying himself
as John the Baptist appeared to Otto Fetting, an apostle in the Church of
Christ founded by David Whitmer. Like Joseph Smith, because the messenger
was a tangible being, Fetting presumed the angel was from God. W.A.
Draves, also an apostle in the Church of Christ, explains the purpose of
John the Baptist visiting Otto Fetting:
I believe that we have something which no other part of the restoration
has or can have unless they are baptized into THE CHURCH OF CHRIST. This
baptism must be performed by a member of the proper priesthood since the
12th Message was given by John the Baptist on July 18th, 1929. This
Authority and Priesthood was re-confirmed at this time when the angel laid
his hands upon the head of Otto Fetting. He had laid them upon the head
of Joseph Smith an Oliver Cowdery, May 15th, 1829, thus restoring the
authority of the Holy Priesthood which had been absent from among men for
1260 years. When the AUTHORITY was restored through Joseph Smith it was
to be for all time…How then did the angel lay his hands on Otto Fetting AS
he laid them on Joseph Smith? It was not to confer AUTHORITY for he had
had that in two movements or factions of the Restoration.…What then had
the Church lost or lacked between the laying on of hands of the angel in
1829 and 1929? Not Authority, for that angel declared that both the
Reorganization and the Temple Lot had that. But “the greater power of the
Priesthood has been withheld because of the transgression of them who have
been entrusted therewith” (Message 12:8)…There was but one thing for the
Lord to do—reject them all and establish His Church anew. Priesthood
Authority did not need to be restored: but priesthood power and light was
lacking. Therefore the angel said: “I lay my hands on you, that the
greater power and greater light might come to you, and to set you apart to
do the work instructed to your care and in your day.” (Just What We Have
To Offer by W.A. Draves, in An Address to All Believers In Christ, pg.
101-103, Board of Publication Church of Christ, 608 Lacy Road,
Independence Missouri.)
W.A. Draves also gives his own experience with a visit from one of the
three Nephites. The three Nephitees, according to the Book of Mormon,
never died. But their bodies where changed to prolong their lives, and
they are presumed by Mormons to be still alive on the earth today doing
the work of the Lord:
While at the home of Evangelist Robert Gordon Newby, near Bemidji,
Minnesota, on the morning of November 4, 1940, at about 8 a.m., I went to
the well not far from the house for water. Just as I stepped through the
thicket of spruce trees and approached the well, I saw sitting on the well
curbing, the Nephite, whom I have met a number of times. Many times he
has given me directions, instructions, and spiritual help in the church
work…He smiled pleasantly and spoke, saying, “I come to bring you comfort;
I have been sent here by the Lord, to this place and at this time. The
Lord knows your heart and your strength, and I bring you encouragement
that you and others may know the Lord’s hand is in this work.” At this
junction he reached toward me and I stepped near and we shook hands. I
felt him to be a real person. (Ibid. pg.111.)
For Christians, please note that the Church of Christ is an offshoot of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Fetting and Draves are
considered apostates by the LDS Church. However, Fetting and Draves both
saw an angel that claims to have been John the Baptist, the same messenger
that the LDS claim gave Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery the priesthood
authority. These men assumed the angels were from God according the they
discernment keys found in D&C 129:4-9:
When a messenger comes saying he has a message from God, offer him your
hand and request him to shake hands with you. If he be an angel he will do
so, and you will feel his hand. If he be a just man made perfect he will
come in his glory; for that is the only way he can appear—Ask him to shake
hands with you, but he will not move, because it is contrary to the order
of heaven for a just man to deceive; but he will still deliver his
message. If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to
shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything;
you may therefore detect him. These are the three grand keys whereby you
may know whether any administration is from God. ” (D&C 129:4-9.)
The three experiences cited above contradict D&C 129. Enger, Otting, and
Draves had encounters with false angels and each felt a tangible being.
In addition, I personally could write of five more accounts from
individuals I personally have met and heard similar stories of angels
materialized before them. God brought all of these witnesses to my
attention when I was prepared to exit the LDS faith.
This knowledge has the key to open the door to the priesthood prison of
Mormonism. The Holy Spirit had already opened my mind that priesthood
concept was false because of the book I had written six months earlier.
And now it became crystal clear. False angels had deliberately fooled
Joseph Smith, leading him away from his original calling from God.
And this key opened the floodlight of truth on the first vision, which now
was clear Joseph had fabricated to add priesthood truths regarding the
“only true church” concept, which was false. The foundation was
crumbling, but now it created one last dilemma in my mind. What about the
First Vision?
To believe Joseph Smith lied about the First Vision from the beginning is
too simplistic. How could he lie and then have false angels come and try
to deceive him? No. The false angels needed to have a reason to deceive,
and that was to derail Joseph Smith from God. Plus, God witnesses to many
that He actually did appear to Joseph Smith, which would make God a liar
to these people. Then, I remembered hearing about the original First
Vision Story penned in 1832. It was supposed to be different than the
1838 version. When I read the story the Holy Spirit testified that this
was the correct account of what actually happened. Joseph concluded
HIMSELF that all churches had strayed from the Bible, not that God told
Him this. God the Father did not appear in the vision, only Jesus
Christ. And finally, the purpose of going to the grove of trees was to
receive a remission of his sins, not to find out which Church to join.
1832 First Vision Account
(Words enclosed by [ ] indicate insertion with ^ mark in the original
manuscript; spelling has been corrected, but I have not made grammatical
corrections.)
…At about the age of twelve years my mind became seriously impressed with
regard to the all important concerns for the welfare of my immortal soul
which led me to searching the scriptures believing as I was taught, that
they contained the word of God thus applying myself to them and my
intimate acquaintance with those of different denominations led me to
marvel exceedingly for I discovered that [they did not] Of adorning their
profession by a holy walk and Godly conversation agreeable to what I found
contained in that sacred depository this was a grief to my soul thus from
the age of twelve years to fifteen I pondered many things in my heart
concerning the situation of the world of mankind the contentions and
divisions the wickedness and abominations and the darkness which pervaded
the minds of mankind my mind become exceedingly distressed for I became
convicted of my sins and by searching the scriptures I found that
[mankind] did not come unto the Lord but that they had apostatized from
the true and living faith and there was no society or denomination that
built upon the gospel of Jesus Christ as recorded in the new testament and
I felt to mourn for my own sins and for the sins of the world for I
learned in the scriptures that God was the same yesterday to day and
forever that he was no respecter to persons for he was God for I looked
upon the sun the glorious luminary of the earth and also the moon rolling
in their majesty through the heavens and also the stars shining in their
courses and the earth also upon which I stood and the beast of the field
and the fowls of heaven and the fish of the waters and also man walking
forth upon the face of the earth in majesty and in the strength of beauty
whose power and intelligence in governing the things which are so
exceeding great and marvelous even in the likeness of him who created
[them] and when I considered upon these things my heart exclaimed well
hath the wise man said [it is a] fool [that] saith in his heart there is
no God my heart exclaimed all these bear testimony and bespeak an
omnipotent and omnipresent power a being who maketh Laws and decrees and
bindeth all things in their bounds who fills eternity who was and is and
will be from all Eternity to Eternity and when I considered all these
things and [that] being seeketh such to worship him as worship him in
spirit and in truth therefore I cried unto the Lord for mercy for there
was none else to whom I could go and obtain mercy and the Lord heard my
cry in the wilderness and while in [the] attitude of calling upon the Lord
[in the 16th* year of my age] a pillar of light above the brightness of
the Sun at noon day came down from above and rested upon me and I was
filled with the Spirit of God and the [Lord] opened the heavens upon me
and I saw the Lord and he spake unto me saying
Joseph [my son] thy sins are forgiven thee. go thy [way and] walk in my
statutes and keep my commandments behold I am the Lord of glory I was
crucified for the world that all those who believe on my name may have
eternal life [behold] the world lieth in sin at this time and none doeth
good no not one they have turned aside from the gospel and keep not [my]
commandments they draw near to me with their lips while their hearts are
far from me and mine anger is kindling against the inhabitants of the
earth to visit them according to this ungodliness and to bring to pass
that which [hath] been spoken by the mouth of the prophets and apostles
behold and lo I come quickly as it written of me in the cloud [clothed] in
the glory of my Father
and my soul was filled with love and for many days I could rejoice with
great joy and the Lord was with me but could find none that would believe
the heavenly vision. . . . Nevertheless I fell into transgression and
sinned in many things which brought wound upon my soul and there were many
things which transpired that cannot be written and my Father’s family have
suffered many persecutions and afflictions.
*could be 15th year
Joseph Smith changed his 1832 story by using his own assumptions of the
apostasy and fabricating these notions into the final 1838 account as if
they came from the mouth of God. It was his opinion, and it was false.
If he would have held to the original truth about the account,
Christianity may accept his story today. There is not one word of this
1832 original account that contradicts the Bible or mainstream
Christianity. It is also clear how Joseph expanded and interpolated this
vision into a more “credible story” that supported the false LDS
priesthood. For example, in the 1832 account Jesus quotes “part of
Isaiah”, but in the 1838 version, Joseph quotes then entire passage of
Isaiah including: “…having the form of godliness but deny the power
thereof.” Thus, Elder Holland came to our stake priesthood leadership
meeting and defined the “power of God” as referring to the LDS
priesthood. Also, God says that “there is none that doeth good.” This
could have been easily interpreted in Joseph’s dark mind as meaning all
the church’s were “wrong”. Studying this 1828 version, it is quite easy
to see how Joseph Smith, struggling with severe financial turmoil and
rampant apostasy, would be tempted to embellish the First Vision story to
protect the priesthood. He conscience was justified in lying to prevent
apostasy from principles He believed were from God. It is easy to finally
see also why he added the visit of the Father to the vision. He has seen
the vision of the Father and the Son in D&C 76 on the degrees of glory and
he felt justified including the Father in the story to once and for all.
It would bring the saving Godhead definition to full view. He believed in
that understanding God as a tangible being was critical to gaining
salvation. He believed that the eventual blessing for a member of the
Church would be to receive the visit of the Father and Son, just as Joseph
Smith had received it, and thus, they would “know God”, and be saved by
this knowledge. “A man is saved no faster than he gains knowledge,” he
wrote. But such was of an immature mind, on who mistook the form of God
over substance, thus the devil blinding the prophet and leading him to
error.
In Conclusion
My thoughts about Mormonism evolved over a long period of time. I do not
take my religious views lightly, and I have prayed fervently to understand
the truth and have studied the issue as sincerely as possible. Leaving
Mormonism has been very difficult. Personally, I would have preferred a
different answer from God. My parents and family are all Mormons. My
roots in the Church go all the way back to 1831, when my great, great,
great grandfather, Joseph Hollbrook, became a friend of Joseph Smith. My
heritage is rich in Mormon folklore. I have several polygamists in my
ancestry. My leaving Mormonism has created an emotional burden on my
family and LDS friends. It has not been a pleasant decision to leave all
of my past for what I believe is the truth. But how am I do deny the
evidence that was placed before me by the Lord? How can I trust my own
feelings and “testimony” above the facts that contradict my personal
feelings about Mormonism? I’ve left you a copy of the path my mind took.
It evolved over many years. Are not my conclusions reasonable
considering my circumstance? Am I being unfair with Mormonism and its
people? I don’t believe so. The Lord would not have allowed the
information about the false angels materialize to come to my attention a
year ago. I was not prepared to hear it. But once I was given the new
information, I had to act upon it.
On the other hand, this information may come across an LDS heart that is
not prepared for change, and such may react in many different ways. I do
apologize if this disturbs those who are not ready to hear this
perspective. But I trust God’s hand in the matter. I must do what I
believe is best to follow my own conscience to share what I believe is
true with the Mormon people. I apologize if my testimony causes any bad
feelings to arise in you. It is not my intention to harm anyone with my
words, but to relate a new perspective on Mormonism that may not have been
considered.
This page was first created on 23 January 1999
Last Updated on 16 April 1999
Created and Maintained by The New Covenant Assemblies of Yahweh
Not all the views expressed in this book are necessarily those of NCAY