Loving the Unlovely - NCCG.ORG Ning Network Archive 2008-10

by Dr. Krista Driver

[I have changed the name god to his true name, Yahweh]

The other night, I was having dinner with a friend and we were talking about a particularly difficult time she was having with a certain somebody (how much more vague could I be? You get the picture though, right?). We came to the conclusion that this person just needed to be loved, regardless of how unlovable this person seemed to be.

After dinner, she and I went to our Bible study and another gal was sharing about a perceived blunder she had made while praying in a group. She had intended to say one thing, but instead said, “Love the unlovely.” We all laughed as she shared the story.

My mother had recently given me a book called Same Kind of Different as Me. The night after the Bible study I was reading that book. And there it was again: “Love the unlovely.” I starting thinking that perhaps Yahweh was trying to tell me something. This was now the second time I had heard that exact phrase. So ... began my thinking about loving the unlovely. That sounds like such an easy thing to do, doesn’t it? Just love them. In actuality it’s not.

That’s about as far as I got with that though. I just thought about it. And the more I thought about it, the less amount of time I wanted to think about it. It’s so much easier to do good things for people, especially for people that are likable. I’d rather steer clear of the mean, hateful people. Let alone love them. Ha! Somebody else can love them, I concluded.

It seems that when I decide I want to focus my attention on something other than what has been put in front of me it just comes around again and again until I “get it.” For the first time in a very long time, I had a Saturday night off. Oh what to do with a whole night off from work and responsibilities? I decided to visit a church that has a Saturday night service. Off I went. I slipped in, took my seat and read my book while waiting for the service to begin. The worship music was amazing! This particular church films its services for a TV broadcast and so there were a lot of lights and cameras. It was much larger than my little home church and I felt like a fish out of water.

The visiting pastor stood up to the podium and began his sermon on ... “loving the unlovely”. I almost fell out of my seat. There it was again! I figured I should probably pay attention and really examine my heart. And it didn’t take me long before I realized why I was so resistant to loving the unlovely. This pastor encouraged us to close our eyes and visualize a person that we are having a hard time loving. I closed my eyes and there behind my eyelids was a line of people that I was refusing to love. One stood out among the others though. She was a friend who had betrayed my trust and hurt me more than any other person. She had insulted me, offended me and spoke harshly about me behind my back. HOW was it possible that I was being asked to “love” her?

It was a soft whisper that I “heard” say, “Because she needs it the most.” And it all made sense to me. Rather than have bitter resentment for those that have hurt us and rather than have a judgment about why people are in certain situations (i.e. homeless, lonely and etc.), it would serve everyone better if we held them in love and did what we could to show them true agape love; the kind of love that only comes from the Father.

That is not an easy thing to do. However, it does not require us to become “best friends” with them, nor would it be essential (or in some cases advisable) to invite them into our personal lives. Yah'shua “hung out” with the lowest of the low. The key here is to remember that he spent time with them for the purpose of correction and bringing them into a saving grace. He didn’t say, “Come over for dinner, let’s have a few laughs, then you go and do whatever you want (good, bad or otherwise) and it’s okay."

I believe the ultimate wisdom here is to love in balance and in a “smart” way. Meaning, if someone has demonstrated time and time again that they cannot be honest, we can love them, but would be wise not to trust everything they are saying or doing. If someone is mean toward us, we can love them, but not put ourselves in situations where we would be hurt (physically or emotionally).

Bottom line, it is possible to love the unlovely. Heck, just look at Yahweh. He loves each one of us. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can be pretty “unlovely”. I will begin to go down that line of people behind my eyelids and work through my own resistance to loving them.

If you were to close your eyes to picture the person(s) that you are having a hard time loving ... WHO would you see? WHAT actions could you take toward moving toward healing that picture?

Let’s Love the Unlovely.

http://www.positivelyfeminine.org/compassion/kd/love.htm

Reply by Sh'mee Miryam on February 23, 2009 at 1:39pm

Thank you for this interesting article, it touched me deep. Thanks for the link, the webpage is very interesting, Yahweh bless you and your family

Purchase the WHOLE Website by clicking here