Preserving Your Children's Heterosexuality
and How to Prevent Homosexuality
by Bob Davies
Parents may be worried about their children's vulnerability to homosexual influences. How can they reduce the chances of future difficulties?
Promote an "open" atmosphere in your home. Children need somewhere to go with their inevitable questions about sexuality. Those who are hushed consistently soon learn that sex is off-limits for discussion. If they experience doubts about their own sexual identity later on, they will avoid talking about their fears.
Give accurate information. Young children may be confused about what homosexuality is — and what it is not. If they like same-sex friends, they may wonder if that makes them "gay." Assure them that you have good friendships with both sexes; it's normal to have close same-sex friends.
Affirm your child's gender. Reinforce gender-appropriate behavior in younger children, and express delight in their masculinity or femininity. Children are wounded by the realization that their parents really wanted a child of the opposite sex; the damage goes even deeper when parents encourage children to adopt opposite-sex qualities and pursuits.
Be generous with physical affection. Some fathers mistakenly believe that giving their son too much affection will warp their boy's sense of masculinity. Exactly the opposite is true. Sons who are liberally hugged by their fathers (or other male authority figures) will have less vulnerability to wrong kinds of physical affirmation from other males.
Build children up in their gender role. Little girls delight to be seen as feminine, such as dressing up for special occasions. Insecure boys can be deeply hurt by parents engaging in name-calling or derogatory remarks such as "You're such a sissy!" Avoid opposite-gender nicknames. Positive reinforcement goes much further than negative comments.
Encourage identification with same-sex role models. Bible heroes, modern-day missionaries, even local sports heroes who exhibit a respectable life-style, can all serve as valuable role models. For single parents raising an opposite-sex child, this element is important. Seek to help your child build relationships with extended family members of his or her gender (aunts, uncles, older cousins, grandparents). Make an extra effort to include your child in activities led by same-sex adults such as Sabbath school teachers.
