I recently received the following e-mail from a divorced woman...
I SAW YOUR WEBSITE. I HAVE A QUESTION. I AM DIVORCED. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE BOTH SAVED. I AM SAVED 24 YRS. HE GOT SAVED WHEN HE MET ME. HE WAS ALSO AN ELDER IN OUR OLD CHURCH. ANYWAY HE JUST KIND OF TURNED ON ME OVER THE YEARS. HE WAS HITTING ME AND THE KID. HE WAS ALSO BOTH VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE. IT WAS A HARD DECISION BUT I HAD TO LEAVE. MY EX HUSBAND WAS DESTROYING MY CHILDREN'S SELF ESTEEM AND SELF WORTH. NOT TO MENTION MINE. IS IT REALLY SUCH A HORRORABLE THING THAT I DID? I REALLY DON'T THINK I DID THE WRONG THING. THE KIDS ARE BETTER NOW, AND I FEEL SAFE. OK MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME.
Comments:
Is it ok to divorce an abusive spouse? No! Jesus stated in Matthew 19:7-8 ...
"They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
Feminism's Hypocrisy
Carefully notice that the woman in the above letter failed to mention even one negative thing about herself. Oh, she must be an angel. It is sinful pride that causes all divorces. Divorce is a sin. America is a feminist nation, and women are twice as likely to file for divorce than men. Look at World Divorce Rates and see how the evils of feminism have destroyed America's families.
Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. It is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as it is for a man to commit domestic violence. I am not lessening the sin of domestic violence, I am emphasizing the sin of wives who rebel against their husbands by not being obedient. I realize this is ancient mentality to feminists today; but it is 100% Biblical doctrine. A wife is expected by God to obey her husband. Feminists are eagerly willing to crucify abusive husbands; BUT they won't even address the issue of wives who disobey, mistreat, and frustrate their husbands. It takes two to tango.
Please understand that I believe a wife who is being physically abused should leave if she feels threatened; but not divorce. Such a wife needs to sincerely ask herself "why" her husband is being abusive--there's ALWAYS a reason. Some husbands are abusive; but 90% of all divorces are needlessly caused by a sinfully proud wife who causes grief for her husband, and he gets mad. A wife who refuses to be submissive causes the marriage to become a two-headed monster. Someone's got to be in charge, or there will be continual conflict. Ideally, a husband and wife should work together on everything; however, in those situations where there is a conflict, the wife is commanded by God to submit to her husband. In fact, Ephesians 5:22 commands a wife to obey her husband as unto Jesus Christ, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." How many wives today obey this Biblical command? It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack to find such a woman today in America. No wonder Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:28, "One man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found." Solomon couldn't find one woman, out of all his wives and the women he had known, whom he could trust with all his heart. There were many feminists in Solomon's time, just as there are today. Listen to what Solomon had to say about the rebellious feminists of his own time ... "And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her." What a contrast from the virtuous wife of Proverb 31:28 ... "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Which type of woman are you? What does your husband (or X-husband) have to say about you? God knows, and He does care, and you will have to give account for your laziness, carelessness, lies, deceitfulness, maliciousness, etc. You will give full account to God for all your words and actions. Matthew 12:36 warns, "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."
I look at society today, and all I see is the two-headed monster of feminism. Feminism rejects the Biblical teaching that a wife is to OBEY her husband. I get many letters from people who have divorced, looking for sympathy. I won't sugarcoat the truth--divorce is a sin. Jesus endured the cross for us, because He loves us. Christ sets the example for us to follow. I'm not saying that someone has a right to abuse us; I am saying that we will put up with someone if we love them, and will work to find a better way to reconcile the situation then to take the easy way out through a divorce. To the feminist, divorce is no big deal (just as they think murderously aborting children is no big deal). As a Christian, I don't understand that mentality. I thought marriage was supposed to be about LOVE, between two people, forever. I'll tell you right now, I love my wife and wouldn't divorce her in a million years. She may one day divorce me; but it will be her doing and not mine. I love my wife, despite her faults and shortcomings. If Jesus was willing to suffer and endure the cross for my sins, then I should be willing to do the same for my own wife. Is this not what Ephesians 4:31-32 teaches? ... "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Feminism teaches the exact opposite ... "Get out now honey, while you still can! God never intended for us to live in misery with an abusive spouse. The Bible says a husband is supposed to love his wife. If your husband loved you, he would treat you better. You would be a fool to go back home again--divorce! divorce! divorce!" I know exactly what those monsters say, and how deceitful they are! Please read this article concerning the divorce rate, because it is so true concerning America today.
All Sins Can Be Justified by the Heathen
I receive quite a few letters from people--who demonize their spouse, seeking to alleviate their own guilt because they CHOSE to divorce. Here's another letter I recently received from an angry wife...
Hi I read your article on divorce and I see what the bible says, but my daughter will have nothing to do with me unless this person is gone out of my life he is not their father and she is 18 my son 14. Does god really intend for us to live and keep forgiving and putting our families through a hell with a person that calls me a cunt, whore, etc - breaks my things, forbids me to see certain people ,and he may even kill me one day. I was ready to up and leave to save myself and show my daughter that I did not choose her over this bastard but what now? how can you worship and praise the lord when you are dying inside from a person like this?
Denise *****
The fact that Denise calls her husband a "bastard" is evidence that she is not so perfect herself. Romans 3:23 states ... "There is NONE righteous, no not one." The truth is that people who seek divorce usually look for reasons to JUSTIFY their actions. It is frightening, but true, that people are able to justify anything if they really want to. This is why homosexuals, fornicators, witches, abortionists, feminists, and those who divorce are all trying to JUSTIFY their sinful deeds with the Bible. It is evil to twist the Bible in an attempt to condone sin (Romans 1:25). In Jeremiah 7:9-10 we learn that the Israelites were guilty of trying to justify their sins ... "Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?" Many of the Jews living in sin in the Old Testament were actually claiming they were doing God's will. People are the same today. It was the American people who allowed their government to destroy Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands, by detonated a thermonuclear bomb in their islands. This was justified by the need to "test" a bomb. Those poor islanders are still horribly suffering because of what America did to them! Hitler justified his evils against the Jews. Nero justified his persecution of the Christians. Hue Hefner justifies his pornography. NAMBLA justifies their pedophilia. GLSEN justifies homosexuality, and teaches it to public school children. Divorce is no different. Nearly all people who file for divorce attempt to justify their sin of breaking their marriage vows, abandoning their spouse who needs them, etc. The sin of divorce causes MANY other sins, including adultery.
Either you love your husband or you don't. If you don't, then you need to get right with God yourself. If you do love him, then you'll stay with him and HONOR your wedding vows ... "'Til death do us part." We are living in a nation of liars. LOVE finds a way to make a relationship work, it doesn't look for EXCUSES to get out and move on. America is without a doubt the most SELFISH nation on earth. The chump change we give to the poor is nothing compared to what we spend on ourselves. Americans spend $50,000,000,000 a year on gambling alone, and even more than that on pornography. America has NO right to ask for God's blessing. We are a nation of baby murderers, liars, cheats, gossipers, and quitters! I'm not being unkind; but divorce is a quitters way out. If you want to get mad at me, go ahead; but the next man (or woman) you meet won't be perfect either.
The Sin of Divorce
The fact that such people continually seek to find peace from their guilt proves that they've sinned. The same is true of mothers who abort their babies. What they thought was right at the time, because some monster talked them into getting an abortion, now haunts them (and likely will for the rest of their life). Notice carefully that Moses said in Numbers 32:23, "YOUR sin will find YOU out." It is the sins we commit today that will one day haunt us in the future. Sin always leads to misery and regret. No mother who aborts her own precious baby can honestly say when she is old that she is glad she murdered her child. Sin always brings regret, bitterness, guilt, and resentment down the road. I have spoken with countless people throughout my life, who have shared with me their regrets over sins committed when they were younger. The same is true concerning the sin of divorce. Divorce always brings guilt and remorse. Only a hardhearted heathen would say that a divorce is the best thing that ever happened to them.
I have received several letters from people who mentioned other pastors and ministries who told them it was OK to divorce. This clearly shows the apostasy of the times we're living in. How dare any professed "Christian" or "pastor" advise anyone to file for divorce. It is evil. I won't be an accomplice to the sin of divorce. Divorce is a sin. My article on Divorce is a Sin is a monkey-wrench in the gears of their divorce. They are sinfully divorcing their spouse, and have gained the emotional support of several neoevangelical deadbeat ministries; BUT, now they've found my article exposing the sin of divorce and are upset. They write me in an attempt to convince me why they're doing the right thing. Folks, divorce is never right. What if God quit on us? ... the same way so many people quit on their spouse? Hebrews 13:5 promises that God will never leave nor forsake us, "...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." This is the standard for us to follow. I cannot understand how anyone could ever file for divorce from someone they love, no matter how abusive that person might be. I am NOT condoning abuse, I am simply saying that love will never fail if it is true love (1st Corinthians 13:8). All marriages have problems; but divorce is never an answer. We are living in an extremely selfish generation of heathens. Sadly, this includes MOST professed "Christians" as well. It is our SINFUL PRIDE which causes us to think we are entitled to a "better life" through divorce. It is not surprising in a society that permits baby-murdering, feminism, witchcraft, homosexuality, fornication, booze, gambling, pornography, lasciviousness, etc--that divorce is also greatly encouraged and committed.
If you filed for divorce, then you have sinned. If you've remarried, then you have also commit adultery. If your spouse remarried, then you caused even more adultery. You may find idiots out there who will tell you it's ok to divorce; but, I am not going to help make you feel better about something you refuse to admit is wrong. If you have divorced, then you need to confess it to God as a sin, make reconciliation with your spouse as much as possible, and then move on in the Lord. If at all possible, the best thing would be for you to return to your spouse rather than remarry another (1st Corinthians 7:11). Only you know your own unique situation, and what needs to be done. God will hold YOU accountable for what YOU have done, and do (Romans 14:12).
I'm a hell-deserving sinner just like anyone else. I am just as guilty of messing up sometimes as anyone else. BUT, right is right and wrong is wrong, and we must never allow our own personal feelings to confuse the two. I did not write this article to deliberately hurt anyone's feelings, and I certainly have no right to tell you your business; BUT, I am taking a stand for God against the sin of divorce. The Bible tells us in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away." In nearly all divorces, the husband and wife BOTH have their own side of the story as to who's to blame. Usually, they blame each other. God will weigh the matter on judgment day, and the truth will come out. The wife who accuses her husband of "abuse" will be held accountable for all the things she did to provoke her husband, and she will be judged accordingly. It's the same morons who call spanking a child "abuse" who are attacking and labeling husbands as being "abusive." The term "abuse" has been greatly twisted nowadays. Every God-hating feminist in the country is still trying to use the O.J. Simpson case to demonize men. Men who track their wife's time are now considered "abusive." Biblically, a husband has every right to tract his wife's time and whereabouts. God told Eve that Adam would RULE OVER her (Genesis 3:16). This does not justify abuse, it just means that the wife is to submit to her husband's control and authority. Feminists hate the very concept of obeying any man, and have consequently labeled such Biblically authoritative husbands as "abusive." Nothing could be further from the truth.
Italy has one of the LOWEST divorce rates in the world. Do you know why? It's because there's a 3-year required wait period before you can get divorced. Sadly, their laws are about to change to 1-year, and the divorce rate will skyrocket. My point here is that it is TOO EASY for couples to get divorced in America. It's big bucks for the judges, lawyers, bankers, etc. I always marvel that a couple can get married in a boat, on a mountain, in a church, under water, on a rollercoaster, in a park, even at the south pole; BUT, you can only be divorced IN A COURT OF LAW! Increasingly, for many men, marriage is becoming a deadly trap. The American court system is unjust, and corrupted by feminism.
Conclusion
It is wrong to divorce an abusive spouse (wife or husband). You may need to leave, and be apart for a while; but divorce is no answer. I am NOT condoning abuse of any kind; but the term "abuse" has been greatly misconstrued to include such ridiculous things as a husband wanting to know where his wife is going, and when she's coming back. I agree wholeheartedly with Mrs. John R. Rice (wife of the great evangelist Dr. John R. Rice), who said that 90% of all divorces is the wife's fault, because God created the wife to be a HELP MEET for her husband (Genesis 2:18). The wife's ministry IS her husband! Many woman pluck their marriages down to the ground (Proverb 14:1). A husband has a Biblical God-given RIGHT to RULE OVER his wife (Genesis 3:16). I find that in many cases when a wife leaves her husband, she involves all sorts of strangers in the marriage, and they are quick to give heathen advice (such as encouraging a divorce). Very few husbands will compromise with a wife who tries to force him to do things her way.
So instead of the wife calling her husband, and giving him a chance to work things out, she instead just files for divorce. This is wickedness. Most women who file for divorce don't give their husband an honest chance to make things right. It's always some lame excuse like, "He's had plenty of chances." That is sinful pride! What if God said that about you? You'd be in Hell. You CANNOT show me even one Scripture in the Word of God that gives anyone permission to divorce because of abuse. And may I say, the Bible does not permit divorce for adultery either. So let us be forgiving, and humble ourselves before God, and be willing to follow in Christ's footsteps ... "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows ... But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:3-5).
In Jesus' name,
David J. Stewart
Courtesy of http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Family/Marriage/divorce_not_ok.htm
