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Divorce - Collection of Essays
Posted by Lev/Christopher on October 29, 2008 at 9:24pm
in Marriage & Relationships
In the Western world today, 50-65% of all marriages fail and 75-85% of all common-law marriages (people who live together without marriage commitments). Christian churches and assemblies are responding to this statistical disaster with mixed messages - some allow divorce and some don't. Some follow the norms and philosophies of the world and compromise with the truth whilst others stick to a literal application of Yahweh's Word. What is the proper response to a believer commited to the Biblical revelation?
At MLT we take a literal biblical position - always. We take the Word of Yahweh at face value - always. We believe it to be infallibly true - always. We are Bible-believing and Bible-implementing Christians so we have no choice. That means when we make judgments about marriage and divorce, we must set aside our personal thoughts and feelings and let Yahweh decide the correct course of action. This means we take a conservative approach to Scripture, just as Yah'shua (Jesus) did when He was on the earth. Like Him we uncompromisingly affirm that not one jot or tittle of the Law (Torah) shall pass away until all has been fulfilled (Mt.5:18) and we are immortal, resurrected, perfected and living in the Kingdom of Yahweh in the presence of the Father and the Son - literally. Thus anyone, anything, or any philosophy or doctrine that would claim that anything that Yahweh has said has been done away with or abolished - unless He Himself has specifically said so (such as animal sacrifices and the Levtitical Priesthood system) - we must reject as false and apostate.
To us, marriage is sacred, and divorce an abomination. Yahweh says He "hates" it (Mal.2:16) and when he says He hates something, it means it is detestable or abominable to Him like murder or rape. Why? Because that is Yahweh's position and His heart, repeatetedly stated in Scripture. Conservative Christians and Messianics do, however, make mistakes in interpretation, not because they are misreading their Bibles but because of translation errors and, in some cases, strong denominational traditions. To be honest we must transcend denominational tradition and get back to the original language of Scripture with a view to understanding them properly.
For instance, most believers have no clue what the word 'divorce' means. Most have no clue that marriage and divorce have nothing to do with that fictitious entitity called 'the state' - Yahweh nowhere has given any secular goverment authority to legislate marriage or invent its own laws - and certainly not divorce laws. Just because the state says you can get either married or divorced doesn't mean that you can. To be married in Yahweh's eyes you have to fulfil His criteria. The most important of these criteria are:
1. That you make a life-long commitment 'no matter what' happens - 'for better or for worse';
2. You do so in the presence of two witnesses.
Once you have done this, you are bound for life!
So what about divorce? Old Covenant Torah permitted divorce in different circumstances. Yah'shua said that these were concessions given because of carnality and heard-heartedness. Under the New Covenant there is no divorce at all, just like it was in the beginning.
Most positions which justify divorce, however limited, become subjective in the end and wander away from the plain sense of scripture. We can't afford to do that. We dare not mess around with something Yahweh calls an "abomination" because of the penalties attached to these. We don't want to shipwreck our souls. What the world or churches call 'dirvorce' may, upon close scriptural examination, turn out not to be. So we had better be certain.
The articles in this series reflect different positions within the consevative evangelical and messianic approach. As you study them, ask yourself where scripture ends and human subjectivity begins. Also bear in mind the scriptural points stated here and in particular the following key Scripture where Yah'shua explains the difference between the Mosaic Covenant and the New Covenant:
"The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what Elohim has joined together, let not man separate." They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality [sic.], and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matt.19:3-9, NKJV).
Most of our English translations obscure key words in this passage such as porneia which the NKJV wrongly translates as "sexual immorality" - other versions say "immorality" (NASU) or "marital unfaithfulness" (NIV) which mean different things to different people depending on culture and time frame. So what did this word porneia mean in the first century A.D. when Yah'shua was ministering? One thing it did not mean was 'adultery' which has its own Greek word, moicheia which means that versions like the KJV which use 'adultery' are just plain wrong. The correct translation would be 'fornication' and specifically within the context of betrothal, the time period when Joseph was married to Mary when she was unexpectedly found to be pregnant and Joseph wanted to divorce her quietly. For a full exegesis of this passage and related scriptures, see www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other02.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050322141152/www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other02.html and a detailed commentary at www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other03.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215055548/www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other03.html.
This means that the only justification for a believer getting a divorce is if fornication takes place during the betrothal period, i.e. the betrothed bride goes and sleeps with another man. Once the relationship has been sexually consummated, it's binding for life. Now most Christians have no clue what betrothal is - they assume it is the same as your modern 'engagement' which you can break off at will. But betrothal is a binding life-long marriage contract without sexual consummation. It's binding for life. Since only Messiancs follow the Torah laws of betrothal, and orthodox Christians leap straight from 'engagement' into full marriage, this passage does not apply to those who do not observe Yahweh's betrothal laws. For them there are no grounds for divorce whatsoever. None.
The New Testament clearly teaches that there are no grounds for divorce between fully committed believers. The only exceptions concern couples where one of the two is an unbeliever and the unbeliever chooses to leave, or where a believer physically abandons/dismisses/dumps his believing wife.
There are grounds for separation (such as domestic violence) but once separated a believing woman may not remarry without becoming an adulterer and forfeiting her place in the Kingdom of Heaven (1 Cor.6:9-10). And if a believing man illegally divorces her, he makes himself an adulterer and comes under the same condemnation.
Please study the articles listed below for further insights into this critically important subject in our day and age. Whatever you do, don't divorce! Works things out. Do as Yah'shua did. Your eternal welfare may be at staken and the happiness of a lot of people. And may Yahweh bless you.
Articles to follow by non-MLT Writers
[1] The Edge of Divorce - a good counselling article but is subjective in places and a little liberal in its approach to scripture
[2] Divorce is Sin! - Scripturally sound and to the point. Probably the closest to the MLT position
[3] Is It OK to Divorce an Abusive Spouse?
Articles by former NCCG Authors
[1] The Issues Surrounding Divorce and Remarriage: A Speculative Essay, Part 1 www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPM044-Divorce.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050211003752/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPM044-Divorce.html
[2] Divorce and Remarriage: When Does a Believer become an Unbeliever? www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ059-Divorce.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050213143715/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ059-Divorce.html
[3] Grounds for Divorce: Just What are They? www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ078-GroundsDivorce.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215054538/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ078-GroundsDivorce.html
[4] When a Christian Becomes a Heathen: When to Divorce and Remarry www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ082-Remarriage.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215055101/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ082-Remarriage.html
[5] Can a Divorced Woman Be Covered without Remarrying? www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ083-Covering.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215060228/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ083-Covering.html
[6] The Hagar Heresy: A Lame Excuse for Divorce in Polygamy Rebutted www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ087-Hagar.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215060110/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ087-Hagar.html
[7] Divorce and Remarriage www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other02.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215054827/www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other02.html with commantary at www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other03.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215055548/www.nccg.org/fecpp/Other03.html.
[8] Can a Spouse Unilaterally End a Marriage Vow? www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ098-EndVow.html">http://web.archive.org/web/20050215055720/www.nccg.org/fecpp/CPMFAQ098-EndVow.html
Is Woman an Enigma?
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?" (Sigmund Freud)
Freud was an atheist who did not understand the Creator's purpose in marriage and life for the genders. It is not just that Yahweh 'assigned' men and women different rôles in life but created them with those rôles so that they would find fulfilment in them. It's built into their spiritual genetics. So why didn't Freud understand women? Because he didn't accept that women were created to be their husbands' helpmeets, as Scripture teaches, so he searched for some other 'primordial' drive. He never found it.
Today's world wants woman to be like a man. But she isn't. Her ministry is her husband, and his ministry is what Yahweh wants him to do - building the Kingdom at home and abroad.
One of the major causes of divorces is rebellion against these divinely created rôles and ministries. When a woman wants what she was created for, she finds happiness and contentment. When she doesn't, she experiences confusion and unhappiness. To a woman who went through many divorces and marriages, a wise marriage counsellor once said:
"If you do what you always did, then you'll get what you always got"
If you have not been following Yahweh's divine rôle model, whether as a husband or a wife, then now is the time to end the cycle of error, end the 'Wars of the Genders', and finally settle down. Then you'll do what you never did before and not get what you always got - broken relationships and divorce.
What About Men?
What is it about men that so often frustrates women? Why don't the men follow the 'rules' that women expect of themselves? The answer is the same: inbuilt rôles - men and women just aren't the same - they have different drives so that they can fulfil their respective mandates from Yahweh. As Dr's. Ray & Sue Bohlin remarked: "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". To understand what they meant by that, read the excellent article by these counsellors at:
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Reply by Mats Rydin on October 30, 2008 at 12:51am
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Reply by Lev/Christopher on October 30, 2008 at 1:33am
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This page was created on 5 May 2010
Updated on 5 May 2010
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